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Old 11-05-2017, 10:14 PM   #11
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Default Re: Working multiple jobs is depressing as hell

I don't know how I came across this song, but it definitely describes how I feel about myself in my situation, working two jobs that I feel don't define my true purpose at all.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bkTk6QcX3uU

Lyrics to the song:

I know all the lines to say
The part I’m expected to play
But in the reflection I am worlds away

As I put my costume on
Eyelashes one by one
Been doing this so long I can tie the knot
Behind my back

And everyone’s waiting
But it’s getting harder to hear what my heart is saying
'Cause everyone’s waiting

Just swallow and breathe, she says
Remember this ain’t for you it’s for them
And all of those painful lessons you’ve had to learn
You gotta use them now or never

'Cause everyone’s waiting
But it’s getting harder to hear
What my heart keeps saying

Turn it off, I wanna turn it all off
When everyone’s waiting
It makes it harder to hear what my heart keeps saying
Turn it off, I wanna turn it all off

But everyone’s waiting
I hear that answers appear when you just stand still
But make it all, how do you make it all stop
When everyone’s waiting?

Songwriters: Daniel Dodd Wilson / Melissa Morrison
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Old 11-15-2017, 07:15 PM   #12
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Default Re: Working multiple jobs is depressing as hell

I hear you. I had to work three jobs for almost three years because of a financially ignorant, idiotic husband. I HATED it.
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Old 11-16-2017, 12:21 AM   #13
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Default Re: Working multiple jobs is depressing as hell

Quote:
Originally Posted by Medusax View Post
I hear you. I had to work three jobs for almost three years because of a financially ignorant, idiotic husband. I HATED it.
THank you Medusax. I've decided that I'm just going to focus on my goal of working this 2nd job for the next 6 months, to save every penny so that my summer months' expenses, bills, and rent is covered. I should have done this last year, but I assumed that the six temp agencies I joined would find me summer-fall work. Lesson learned = never assume anything.

And, I am sorry to hear that you had to do that because of your husband's actions. Three jobs for three years sounds horrific.
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Old 11-16-2017, 12:36 AM   #14
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Default Re: Working multiple jobs is depressing as hell

You know with all the **** I'm going through trying to find full time work, I'm just thankful that I have Ssdi and have enough freelance work to supplement. I don't think I could physically work two jobs right now that pay so low and require lots of hours.

I wish I could be of more help to you Ceil, because I know you are highly educated and have skills and expertise...but without knowing you personally, all I can say is push through and don't give up. This is one year out of your life.

Hopefully 2018 will be better for both of us.

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Primary Dx: PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder[/SIGPIC]
Secondary Dx: OCPD, Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia.

Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien

Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less...
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Old 11-16-2017, 01:22 AM   #15
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Default Re: Working multiple jobs is depressing as hell

Quote:
Originally Posted by seesaw View Post
You know with all the **** I'm going through trying to find full time work, I'm just thankful that I have Ssdi and have enough freelance work to supplement. I don't think I could physically work two jobs right now that pay so low and require lots of hours.

I wish I could be of more help to you Ceil, because I know you are highly educated and have skills and expertise...but without knowing you personally, all I can say is push through and don't give up. This is one year out of your life.

Hopefully 2018 will be better for both of us.

Seesaw
I'm trying to work every angle in education regarding jobs that I apply for, with no luck just yet. A gal I work the retail job with works for a nonprofit and told me to apply for a poorly paid job there, because people get promoted there quickly. So, I thanked her and told her I'd read up on her nonprofit organization to see if it may be a good fit. I'm used to taking the wrong jobs to make ends meet, which my professional resume reflects unfortunately with my work history. I just don't want to keep making the wrong decision regarding jobs, all the time.

I could try to get freelance writing jobs, but as a side gig to the 2nd retail job, until I could do it more frequently for more money. Who knows. Maybe I've used up my years that mattered, to find my true purpose, and it's too late for me at this point, to continue that journey. Maybe I should just say ***** it, and do what I'm currently doing for the rest of my years. Pffft. I did find out from my student loan lender, that if I stay on my repayment plan until I'm 61, the rest of my student loans will be dismissed. Um, I hope so because by then it would be $500,000. Like, my social security when I retire would only cover my rent and that's it.

There is a small group of part-timers who are over 60 years of age, at the retail store where I work. I feel terrible for them, because they work at other places like grocery stores, etc. during the day, and then do this retail job at night. I look at them and think, "this is my path..." Morose, I know, but it's how I feel right now. I will be working 2 jobs for the rest of my life as punishment for the stupid mistakes I made in my 20s and 30s with regards to choosing a path for myself, and sticking with it. Whoops.
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Old 11-16-2017, 08:43 AM   #16
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Default Re: Working multiple jobs is depressing as hell

^^

It sounds like you are doing all the right things!

I did some freelance writing for a site in the US for a bit, but I stopped because they paid peanuts and were really vague as far as explaining what they wanted. They'd send stuff back a lot for editing, but with minimal feedback as far as how to fix things. I soon realized that the amount of work it required wasn't worth what they were paying.

On the other hand, my current job started as freelance too (I now have a contract), for a website in the country where I live. They pay more per write-up than the US site did, the write-ups take less time generally, and there was actual training and constructive feedback, so after 3 months or so it was possible to do okay money-wise.

So, it really depends. Based on my experience, I'd say look into it but definitely be careful. Do some searches to see if there are any comments from people that have freelanced for the company so you can see if they had good experiences, and don't take too much work on at first. Do a few articles so you can determine if they are worth your time (track your time spent) and if they pay in a reasonable amount of time (and if they pay at all!).
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Old 12-07-2017, 05:56 AM   #17
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Default Re: Working multiple jobs is depressing as hell

This week has been awful. Our boss at my day job increased our production requirement to a point where it's unreasonable. Supposedly it is only for two months, so I have to stick it out. I don't want to be out of work again. I am going to have to work extra to meet it, even though in theory I am not supposed to work overtime. She is unapproachable and stated her opinion that she thinks it is doable, so there is no discussing it with her. And they wonder why there has been quite a bit of turnover in the department lately!

Then, several translations came in. I was up at 5:30 AM to work on those. At least I turned those in a few minutes ago.

Tomorrow is a holiday, so we are going to go away for a few days. I need a change of scenery, I feel so burnt out. But even then, we have to come back early on Sunday so I can do some work.
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