Psych Central

Go Back   Forums at Psych Central > General > Work and Careers



advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
Unread 08-11-2017, 06:26 PM   #1
Veteran Member
rdgrad15 Keep striving to be happy! :)
 
Member Since: Apr 2016
Location: Pittsburgh
Posts: 576
My Mood:

163 hugs
given
Default Looking for a new better paying job

I have decided that it is time for me to find a new job that is full time and pays better. Within the year, I hope to have a new job. At my current job, I have been working there for a little over a year so by next year at this time I should have enough experience to apply to other places since a lot of jobs require two years or more experience. Also I feel like something happened to make my coworkers dislike me. They constantly exclude me even out of work related conversations. I get it, they don't have to be friends with me. That is fine. In fact, most of them are at least 20-30 years older than me so it would actually be kind of weird to be friends with them.

My supervisor, ironically, is the only person who is just a few years older than me, I believe six years older or so. But I still feel like they shouldn't exclude me when it comes to work related conversations. If it is in person, they will deliberately block me out of their circle, and recently through text, once they realized I was included in a group chat, they either blocked me out or started a new chat without me.
Basically, in other words,

I feel unwanted and feel like the work environment has grown toxic. Either they always felt this way towards me since the beginning and I just didn't see it or someone gossiped about me and made me look bad. The reason I worry that it could be the second scenario is because one of my coworkers actually do dislike me for some unknown reason and she is not afraid to show it. If she is around me in a group conversation, she will block me out and even get people to stop talking to me by forcing all the attention on her.

Not only do I feel unwanted and that the work environment has grown toxic and unprofessional, I also feel that I am no longer making enough money. I want to move out of the house soon and even get benefits and a part time job isn't good enough for that. The pay is good, but the hours isn't. If the hours were good, then the job would be way better in terms of supporting me. So that is why I feel it is time for me to move on. And this time I mean it since I already started searching for other jobs. And I am looking for anything, any job at a school, college, or other organization would do. And hopefully soon I will be able to get a new job soon. I know no workplace is perfect. There will always be someone that doesn't like you, but I feel like there are some places that can be better than where I'm at now.

Last edited by rdgrad15; 08-11-2017 at 06:41 PM.
rdgrad15 is online now   Reply With Quote

advertisement
Unread 08-12-2017, 05:11 AM   #2
Poohbah
 
reb569's Avatar
reb569 ??!!??
 
Member Since: Feb 2017
Location: Central New York
Posts: 1,125 (SuperPoster!)
My Mood:

273 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Looking for a new better paying job

My take on workplace relationships/friendships is this, who needs them? My experience has been when a group of co-workers are friends, less gets done. Be professional with them, but if they don't like you, the hell with them, they aren't worth it. Just continue doing your job and when you find something new leave them behind. Hopefully your next job you will have co-workers that aren't stuck up snobs.
__________________
"Do you know whatís really scary? You want to forget something. Totally wipe it off your mind. But you never can. It canít go away, you see. AndÖ and it follows you around like a ghost."
~ A Tale of Two Sisters (Janghwa, Hongryeon) (2003)

"I feel like an outsider, and I always will feel like one. Iíve always felt that I wasnít a member of any particular group."
~ Anne Rice
reb569 is offline   Reply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Unread 08-12-2017, 06:03 AM   #3
Veteran Member
rdgrad15 Keep striving to be happy! :)
 
Member Since: Apr 2016
Location: Pittsburgh
Posts: 576
My Mood:

163 hugs
given
Default Re: Looking for a new better paying job

Quote:
Originally Posted by reb569 View Post
My take on workplace relationships/friendships is this, who needs them? My experience has been when a group of co-workers are friends, less gets done. Be professional with them, but if they don't like you, the hell with them, they aren't worth it. Just continue doing your job and when you find something new leave them behind. Hopefully your next job you will have co-workers that aren't stuck up snobs.
I totally agree. Like I mentioned, I am not lookingbto be friends with them. I just wish they would have a little more respect towards me. I also agree that nothing gets done when coworkers are friends. My cowkrkers are friends with each other and it really slows down productivity. There is way too much sitting down and talking going on.

I am surprised none of them hasn't got in trouble yet, although I did hear my supervisor say once that she is going to increase the work load so there is not as much sitting around and doing nothing. Which I honestly don't blame her. It can be uncomfortable just sitting there when you're supposed to be doing something or supposed to be with a student. And yes I hope when I get a new job, my coworkers will be more professional and respectful. I do also think that being friends with coworkers can reduce professionalism.
rdgrad15 is online now   Reply With Quote
Unread 08-12-2017, 06:05 AM   #4
Veteran Member
 
Emily Fox Seaton's Avatar
Emily Fox Seaton has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2016
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 615 (SuperPoster!)
84 hugs
given
Default Re: Looking for a new better paying job

Quote:
Originally Posted by reb569 View Post
My take on workplace relationships/friendships is this, who needs them? My experience has been when a group of co-workers are friends, less gets done. Be professional with them, but if they don't like you, the hell with them, they aren't worth it. Just continue doing your job and when you find something new leave them behind. Hopefully your next job you will have co-workers that aren't stuck up snobs.
Agreed. In my workplace a social group has formed and it is like the Skulls. I am pretty sure the have meetings outside the workplace at a bar and I wouldn't even be surprised if that goes into the bedroom.

They reward each other with jobs and promotions and unfair treatment and no one cares. But... I don't need them. I asked my boss for a computer in a remote room and I plan on going up there to work for a large portion of the day. I have tried to just sit in my office and not talk to people but they refuse to respect my wishes.

But better pay is always a good thing.
Emily Fox Seaton is online now   Reply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Unread 08-12-2017, 08:14 AM   #5
Veteran Member
rdgrad15 Keep striving to be happy! :)
 
Member Since: Apr 2016
Location: Pittsburgh
Posts: 576
My Mood:

163 hugs
given
Default Re: Looking for a new better paying job

Quote:
Originally Posted by Emily Fox Seaton View Post
Agreed. In my workplace a social group has formed and it is like the Skulls. I am pretty sure the have meetings outside the workplace at a bar and I wouldn't even be surprised if that goes into the bedroom.

They reward each other with jobs and promotions and unfair treatment and no one cares. But... I don't need them. I asked my boss for a computer in a remote room and I plan on going up there to work for a large portion of the day. I have tried to just sit in my office and not talk to people but they refuse to respect my wishes.

But better pay is always a good thing.
Same for my coworkers. They are literally like a high school clique. And ironically, we work at a high school as paraprofessionals for special education students. They talk about their personal problems at work and are constantly making plans to go drinking, which I believe is unprofessional to talk about at work, especially when there are students nearby. From what I hear of the things they have said or talked about, if I would say any of the same things, I can bet a hundred dollars I would get in trouble. I have decided I will be distancing myself from them a bit more. Not being rude to them, but just keeping to myself more so than before.
rdgrad15 is online now   Reply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Unread 08-12-2017, 08:38 AM   #6
Veteran Member
 
Emily Fox Seaton's Avatar
Emily Fox Seaton has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2016
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 615 (SuperPoster!)
84 hugs
given
Default Re: Looking for a new better paying job

Quote:
Originally Posted by rdgrad15 View Post
Same for my coworkers. They are literally like a high school clique.
Yup. And I don't work at a school. It goes extremely far. The operations manager has been pushing two people for jobs since like 2014. Every time they are rejected and when the next opening comes up... they push them again. They are horrible workers and no one wants them. But, they are in the clique.

- they go out drinking;
- the talk about getting laid in the open;
- they have utter attitude...like they are gods when they are the most unqualified.
- they talk about sports .. openly like they have every right to spend hours screaming about football.
- they go to the gym for 2+ hours per day while the rest of us are working. Their "coat of arms" is buffed bodies.

I would go so far as to say that it is a requirement that you are "hazed" in someway in that group for career advancement. And the power brokers just look the other way.

I have come to conclude that it is a mechanism of control. The operations manager can control you if you join this group. Not only because you show him that you are submissive. But because honestly, they have dirt on you. So these people get the jobs. To make things easier on him. They are also usually not smart or capable of problem solving on their own, yet another way they are controllable. If you are bright or have a brain or not controllable... he doesn't want you on his "team."
Emily Fox Seaton is online now   Reply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Unread 08-12-2017, 09:19 AM   #7
Veteran Member
rdgrad15 Keep striving to be happy! :)
 
Member Since: Apr 2016
Location: Pittsburgh
Posts: 576
My Mood:

163 hugs
given
Default Re: Looking for a new better paying job

Quote:
Originally Posted by Emily Fox Seaton View Post
Yup. And I don't work at a school. It goes extremely far. The operations manager has been pushing two people for jobs since like 2014. Every time they are rejected and when the next opening comes up... they push them again. They are horrible workers and no one wants them. But, they are in the clique.

- they go out drinking;
- the talk about getting laid in the open;
- they have utter attitude...like they are gods when they are the most unqualified.
- they talk about sports .. openly like they have every right to spend hours screaming about football.
- they go to the gym for 2+ hours per day while the rest of us are working. Their "coat of arms" is buffed bodies.

I would go so far as to say that it is a requirement that you are "hazed" in someway in that group for career advancement. And the power brokers just look the other way.

I have come to conclude that it is a mechanism of control. The operations manager can control you if you join this group. Not only because you show him that you are submissive. But because honestly, they have dirt on you. So these people get the jobs. To make things easier on him. They are also usually not smart or capable of problem solving on their own, yet another way they are controllable. If you are bright or have a brain or not controllable... he doesn't want you on his "team."
I agree. Although my coworker's don't talk about getting laid, thru constantly talk about how stupid their husbands are. I know significant others can get on each other's nerves but I feel like they go too far. They act like they are way smarter than others and feel like a lot of other people, including their husbands are super dumb. Meanwhile, I had to explain to a coworker, who is in her 50's, what the retirement plan is since we are all required to have one even if you're in your 20's like me. And yeah your workplace sounds awful. I'm sorry you have to put up with that.
rdgrad15 is online now   Reply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Unread 08-13-2017, 03:13 AM   #8
Poohbah
 
reb569's Avatar
reb569 ??!!??
 
Member Since: Feb 2017
Location: Central New York
Posts: 1,125 (SuperPoster!)
My Mood:

273 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Looking for a new better paying job

I plug in nearly all day at work. That way I don't hear some of the crap that goes on. I stay out of all of it. I just do my job, then go home.
__________________
"Do you know whatís really scary? You want to forget something. Totally wipe it off your mind. But you never can. It canít go away, you see. AndÖ and it follows you around like a ghost."
~ A Tale of Two Sisters (Janghwa, Hongryeon) (2003)

"I feel like an outsider, and I always will feel like one. Iíve always felt that I wasnít a member of any particular group."
~ Anne Rice
reb569 is offline   Reply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Unread 08-13-2017, 04:00 AM   #9
Veteran Member
rdgrad15 Keep striving to be happy! :)
 
Member Since: Apr 2016
Location: Pittsburgh
Posts: 576
My Mood:

163 hugs
given
Default Re: Looking for a new better paying job

Quote:
Originally Posted by reb569 View Post
I plug in nearly all day at work. That way I don't hear some of the crap that goes on. I stay out of all of it. I just do my job, then go home.
Good. That's how it should be. Although I can't exactly listen to music, I can definitely just tune them out.
rdgrad15 is online now   Reply With Quote
Unread 08-13-2017, 06:31 AM   #10
Veteran Member
 
Emily Fox Seaton's Avatar
Emily Fox Seaton has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2016
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 615 (SuperPoster!)
84 hugs
given
Default Re: Looking for a new better paying job

Quote:
Originally Posted by rdgrad15 View Post
Good. That's how it should be. Although I can't exactly listen to music, I can definitely just tune them out.
Yes I can't either. But you know.. even with my office door shut people just barge right in. It is called e-mail. Why do you have to visit me in person? Typically to gossip.

I am so fed up with it as soon as they put a computer in the room upstairs I will spend the large majority of my day up there.

Recently someone left and another office was opened. I was going to ask for it but then I remembered the person who sits next door likes to sing with his door open. Why? Why can't we just have normal people?
Emily Fox Seaton is online now   Reply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 07:02 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.

advertisement

 

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice,
diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.
Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.

 

HomeAbout UsContact UsPrivacy PolicyTerms of UseDisclaimer
Forums HomeCommunity GuidelinesHelp

Helplines and Lifelines