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Old 12-05-2017, 03:38 PM   #1
annxo
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Exclamation I'm not sure if I'm posting in the right place

I'm 5 weeks pregnant with a man who I'm not sure is the man of my dreams...I love him but he spends too much time getting drunk and smoking cigarettes instead of working. Since I've been with him I don't have a job anymore since he won't let me work in a bar. I've lost all my friends since he gets mad if I go out with them. He also treats me like a child.. He's 39 and I'm 24 we've been together for 2 years.. he at least goes outside to smoke now..

Anyway, since I've became pregnant..I have grown to be extremely depressed and moody. At times I want to commit suicide..I hate waking up in the morning and all day feels like a nightmare to me.

I'm not sure if this is normal because I'm pregnant or if I'm genuinely not ready for a child..

I can't stop thinking about getting an abortion... I would be so much happier but at the same time I'm worried that I will feel like a murderer. (Also, I'm not religious)

I feel like I'm an a extremely tough place...

For the past 8 years, I've done nothing but pop pills and drink alcohol. I also smoked marijuana the whole time.

Somehow I had a feeling I was pregnant before I even missed my period and tested positive so I've been completely sober since. (I've also been sober from pills for the past 2-3 months)

Anyway I feel like I'm losing my mind and I don't know what to do....

I'm worried that my mental state will harm the baby
(Since, I have no desire to eat healthy or exercise)

Has any other woman been in this situation?

I know I'm kind of all over the place on this post.. I do apologize for that.
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Old 12-05-2017, 06:26 PM   #2
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Default Re: I'm not sure if I'm posting in the right place

I haven't been in the same situation but I'm a mom and I know pregnancy hormones can really make you emotionally all over the place. If you are not ready to be a mom, abortion is a valid option. Only you can make that choice. I wish you luck with your decision and how you are feeling. Maybe a trip to the doctor would be a good idea.
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Old 12-10-2017, 04:13 AM   #3
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Imho I really think you need to stop & take some serious stock of where you are in your life. Before other things happen!!!
The first of many red flags I see is ďhe wonít let me work in a bar...Ē
WTF!
He spends all his time drinking & smoking?? Howís that going to improve with a baby in the house? Does he wanto have a baby with you?
(& really a guy from your dreams isnít real...it is a dream)

You donít have any friends bec HE gets mad?? Again WTF!

And he treats you like a child. Is this solely bec of your age or is this guy a daddy or father figure for you?
Yeah I can definitely see why youíre depressed. Iím not trying to be ugly here, but a baby is really a lifetime commitment. Are you ready for that? Is he?

I agree with the above post. Yes you should be worried about your own mental state & if you wanto bring a baby into your world.
Just my honest opinion.
Good luck!
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Old 12-10-2017, 11:18 PM   #4
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Default Re: I'm not sure if I'm posting in the right place

Part of your depressed mood could be compounded by withdrawal that your body is going through. If he's spending time drinking and not working, does this mean he isn't secure with a paycheck?
8 years of not being sober brings your age to 16 when you started with that lifestyle? I ask because it leads me to question what your relationship may or may not be like with your parents? Do you have extended family? What about adoption services if abortion isn't sitting well with you? Does your bf know? Does he want to be the type of father for this child that the child deserves? Will he change his not so sober ways to coparent?
Lots of things to consider.
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Old 12-10-2017, 11:48 PM   #5
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Default Re: I'm not sure if I'm posting in the right place

I think that it would be really difficult to co-parent with a controlling *****. Believe me I have done it.

I did have kids and I am the primary caregiver. Do you feel ready for that? If not, an abortion may be a good choice. Or adoption.
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Old 12-11-2017, 12:25 AM   #6
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It may be best to give the baby up for adoption. I would say hell no to the daddy and I'm sorry but 2-3 months sober is simply not enough to be "clean enough" to get your head in the game for a life-long commitment.
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Old 12-12-2017, 07:22 PM   #7
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I've made up my mind, I want to have an abortion...
The only thing that is really hard is the fact that I work for myself online and I need to come up with $400...
Usually this is a somewhat easy task for me... but I've grown so incredibly depressed since I've found out that I'm pregnant that it makes it hard for me to want to do anything...
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Old 12-16-2017, 12:47 PM   #8
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I hope you are able to get that money together, if that's your choice. I know I'm just an internet stranger but I support you.
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Old 12-26-2017, 11:13 PM   #9
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I have it scheduled for tomorrow.. and I have a terrible head-cold. I'm also having second thoughts... The dad is still going to court and might be put on house arrest..or just probation. He claims he will get a job even if it's just flipping burgers...also he's been very good to me lately... He also supports me in which ever option I choose and agreed to help pay for it...this is so tough..
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Old 12-27-2017, 01:55 AM   #10
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Default Re: I'm not sure if I'm posting in the right place

Leave him and stick to your plan.
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