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Old 03-10-2018, 08:23 AM   #1
Albie
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I am having issues over how I feel. I use to be an avid crossdresser starting when I was a teen.continued as I got older. Some how I always thought of myself with having boobs. After consideration spoke with several PS and had the procedure done. Ended up going a bit larger than originally thought, but figured that was ok.

I'm finding that while I really like the results and my new look, I'm having issues feeling comfortable in certain situations. Last year I went to my sister's pool party ended up with s panic attack. Since then I had experienced anxiety at times mainly in large crowds if I'm by myself. The thought of removing my implants is not something I really want I just want to feel more comfortable about myself
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Old 03-10-2018, 03:15 PM   #2
Skeezyks
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Thanks for posting here in the transgender forum. It hasn't seen much activity recently. A short time ago, I decided to go off onto another website for my gender identity issues. But as it turns out, there's not much activity there either!

I'm an old man. And I live a pretty-much entirely male lifestyle at this point. But even when I didn't, I kept it all very much a secret. In addition to my various other problems, I've always been pretty socially anxious (except for a few years as a very young adult when I sort-of "exploded" out of my shell, so to speak.)

Except for that brief period as a young adult, I've always been a person who mostly just wanted to pass through the day-to-day world unnoticed. If you saw me walking down the street nowadays, I wouldn't look significantly different from any of the other older men in my neighborhood.

I do think, based on my own personal experience, that there can be a wide gap between what one can appreciate & feel comfortable with oneself, & what one can feel comfortable with out in public. At least that has been true for me. But, perhaps, it's simply a matter of getting out there & living your life out in public with your new look; and the more you do it, the more comfortable you will become with it. Hopefully that is the case. Good luck!
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Old 03-10-2018, 10:31 PM   #3
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Hey Albie,

Is your anxiety over whether you are safe in public? Social transition is fraught with anxiety in this violent world, especially if you don't pass for cis. Not that "passing" is desired for everyone -- ideally you would be accepted and affirmed no matter how you present. Is there a gender therapist you can see for support?
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Old 03-16-2018, 09:02 PM   #4
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Hey Skeezyks , I`m still around it has been a while sorry about that , a heck of a winter / car and home issues / me issues / ugg

Hi Albie ,

If you don`t mind me asking , how long have you been on HRT ? , just curious .
Being trans I have always thought if I were to start HRT , I would just wait it out and see if nature could get it right !!

OK so you had top surgery OK , how long ago ? , did you allow time for proper healing so there would be minimum scare tissue ? As that might have altered your intended size.

Anyway , just that alone and your bodies conflict until you have bottom surgery , plus a large crowd of strangers , well that would give me a panic attack for sure.

Talk with your T about it , you are seeing a therapist right ?

Take care

Keyplayer
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Old 03-18-2018, 12:48 PM   #5
Albie
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Originally Posted by Keyplayer View Post
Hey Skeezyks , I`m still around it has been a while sorry about that , a heck of a winter / car and home issues / me issues / ugg

Hi Albie ,

If you don`t mind me asking , how long have you been on HRT ? , just curious .
Being trans I have always thought if I were to start HRT , I would just wait it out and see if nature could get it right !!

OK so you had top surgery OK , how long ago ? , did you allow time for proper healing so there would be minimum scare tissue ? As that might have altered your intended size.

Anyway , just that alone and your bodies conflict until you have bottom surgery , plus a large crowd of strangers , well that would give me a panic attack for sure.

Talk with your T about it , you are seeing a therapist right ?

Take care

Keyplayer
Hi Keyplayer
I was not on HRT I just had my breasts enlarged (augmentation). I had worn forms full time prior was a b cup. My PS convincede to go larger to fill out my chest proportionality. I am pleased with the results, no issue there again perhaps a bit larger than I thought, there was about 3 mos. from the time of my surgery to the pool party. I have just started going to a therapist
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Old 03-18-2018, 03:18 PM   #6
Albie
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Skeezyks View Post
Thanks for posting here in the transgender forum. It hasn't seen much activity recently. A short time ago, I decided to go off onto another website for my gender identity issues. But as it turns out, there's not much activity there either!

I'm an old man. And I live a pretty-much entirely male lifestyle at this point. But even when I didn't, I kept it all very much a secret. In addition to my various other problems, I've always been pretty socially anxious (except for a few years as a very young adult when I sort-of "exploded" out of my shell, so to speak.)

Except for that brief period as a young adult, I've always been a person who mostly just wanted to pass through the day-to-day world unnoticed. If you saw me walking down the street nowadays, I wouldn't look significantly different from any of the other older men in my neighborhood.

I do think, based on my own personal experience, that there can be a wide gap between what one can appreciate & feel comfortable with oneself, & what one can feel comfortable with out in public. At least that has been true for me. But, perhaps, it's simply a matter of getting out there & living your life out in public with your new look; and the more you do it, the more comfortable you will become with it. Hopefully that is the case. Good luck!
I think you make a great point about how comfortable you are with yourself and how you present to others. That's I feel I'm struggling with to a point, especially now that warmer weather is on it's way. I worry how I'm going to feel in the spring / summer. Last year I avoided pools and the shore. I want to regain some confidence in myself.
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