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Old 09-15-2018, 01:07 AM #1
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Default The trouble of comparing scores

I'm horrible at comparing myself to others. Having to constantly tell myself it's not a contest. And it doesn't completely succeed. The specific score I got isn't that important here, just that it's not nearly as high as some others. I'm not really going to get into how I compare my skills and accomplishments here and now. I know I've said to other people multiple times that in a hospital, you don't treat minor wounds before the most serious ones. You don't even treat things like little paper cuts. Break a leg and you get special care. Get a paper cut and you put a band-aid on it and get over it.
My problem is just that, when other people seem to have more problems, or bigger problems (kinda of indicated by a higher sanity score I guess) that
means that I should just keep a stiff upper lip and bear through things completely on my own and remember I mean nothing. I feel like a paper cut trying to get into the ER next to someone with a concussion.
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Old 09-16-2018, 03:02 AM #2
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Default Re: The trouble of comparing scores

Quote:
Originally Posted by rise13eyond View Post
I feel like a paper cut trying to get into the ER next to someone with a concussion.
I totally understand this feeling. I have had times where this described exactly how I felt but I couldn't even put it into words like you just did.

(warning - science brain taking over here so feel free to stop if it's too much, I will not be offended)

One thing I wanted to say/point out/bring up... it's not only how severe the symptoms are when it comes to mental illness, it's also how they affect our daily lives. Two people can have the same level of depression, but one has a much lower functioning. Or someone who is suicidal could be functioning, getting to appts, eating, etc while someone who is depressed but not suicidal has lost the motivation to do those things.

At my pdoc, I fill out a questionnaire, one of the standard ones rating depression, and the last question after the 0-3 rating part, is "how difficult do these things make your daily activities?" or something along those lines. Someone with a lower score on the first part could say severe here while I, with a higher score, say mild or moderate, hypothetically. To the pdoc, that puts the two of us at the same level, roughly.

Hope that makes sense... sorry for the analytical brain taking over...
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Old 09-28-2018, 05:43 AM #3
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Default Re: The trouble of comparing scores

Quote:
Originally Posted by rise13eyond View Post
I'm horrible at comparing myself to others. Having to constantly tell myself it's not a contest. And it doesn't completely succeed. The specific score I got isn't that important here, just that it's not nearly as high as some others. I'm not really going to get into how I compare my skills and accomplishments here and now. I know I've said to other people multiple times that in a hospital, you don't treat minor wounds before the most serious ones. You don't even treat things like little paper cuts. Break a leg and you get special care. Get a paper cut and you put a band-aid on it and get over it.
My problem is just that, when other people seem to have more problems, or bigger problems (kinda of indicated by a higher sanity score I guess) that
means that I should just keep a stiff upper lip and bear through things completely on my own and remember I mean nothing. I feel like a paper cut trying to get into the ER next to someone with a concussion.
Yes! I can totally relate to that!!! When I went to the office of vocational rehab for help in sustaining a job due to my PTSD, I felt like the woman was very skeptical of me - like I was "not disabled enough" for her to help me. Why? Because I'm highly skilled, articulate, and I carry myself well. However, the PTSD is real! It causes me extreme distress and interferes with my ability to do a job with ease. It feels like I have to work a LOT harder to accomplish certain things, compared with other people without my condition. And I crumble under certain interpersonal situations that others can easily shrug off. A miscommunication can be an annoyance to someone else. However, for me, a simple miscommunication can easily trigger me into a flashback where it feels like my personal safety is being compromised. Still, I have learned to take responsibility for my flashbacks and have had to have still perform my job while in this state. No one would expect someone to do excellent work while the building is on fire. Yet, on an emotional level, this is what I do on a regular basis.

So yeah, it can sometimes feel like we are at a disadvantage or being penalized for our hard work or coming so far in our healing journey. It's hard.

I ended up paying a LOT of money to hire a professional workplace coach. She typically works with people in a professional setting who work at a higher level in the business than I do. It seems that the help I need is very niche.
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Old 12-19-2018, 07:26 PM #4
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Default Re: The trouble of comparing scores

Quote:
Originally Posted by rise13eyond View Post
I'm horrible at comparing myself to others. Having to constantly tell myself it's not a contest. And it doesn't completely succeed. The specific score I got isn't that important here, just that it's not nearly as high as some others. I'm not really going to get into how I compare my skills and accomplishments here and now. I know I've said to other people multiple times that in a hospital, you don't treat minor wounds before the most serious ones. You don't even treat things like little paper cuts. Break a leg and you get special care. Get a paper cut and you put a band-aid on it and get over it.
My problem is just that, when other people seem to have more problems, or bigger problems (kinda of indicated by a higher sanity score I guess) that
means that I should just keep a stiff upper lip and bear through things completely on my own and remember I mean nothing. I feel like a paper cut trying to get into the ER next to someone with a concussion.
I identify with this feeling /thought process so much. And this feeling constantly adds to my anxiety...
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