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Old 12-06-2018, 11:07 AM   #1
raging vortex
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Default "it's all your fault"

is litirally the worst phrase anyone can say to me

when people say it, I don't just get angry and triggered, I litirally want to

Possible trigger:


I wish I didn't feel that way- I wish I could cope with that statement in a better way, but I can't.

that's the one thing I can not cope with and it actually embarrasses me
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Old 12-06-2018, 01:20 PM   #2
SorryShaped
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Default Re: "it's all your fault"

They don't have to say it. I already feel that way.
Sorry you're having troubles too
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Old 12-08-2018, 11:13 AM   #3
pachyderm
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Default Re: "it's all your fault"

I was once told that by a hospital psychiatrist. Only he didn't use the word "all".

Actually, what he said (and I think I remember it pretty accurately) was "I don't know how you got into this situation, but one thing I do know: it was your own fault". This was at a time when I felt about as badly about myself as was possible.


Nice to hear that from a psychiatrist.

I guess it relieves the discomfort of the person who tells you that.
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Old 12-10-2018, 04:55 PM   #4
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Default Re: "it's all your fault"

Quote:
Originally Posted by raging vortex View Post
is litirally the worst phrase anyone can say to me

when people say it, I don't just get angry and triggered, I litirally want to

Possible trigger:


I wish I didn't feel that way- I wish I could cope with that statement in a better way, but I can't.

that's the one thing I can not cope with and it actually embarrasses me

You don't need to be embarassed. We all have trigger words and topics. You can do mindfulness/ spiritual exercise internalizing the fact that it is NOT all of your fault. You can build a strong wall around your heart (and it takes time, as it took me very long time and I'm still working on some of it) so that words coming from the outside just bounces off.

And someone who uses the phrase "It's all your fault" is blame-shifting and failing to take responsibility. It takes two to form a relationship and two for things to go wrong.

Last edited by ennie; 12-10-2018 at 04:56 PM.. Reason: typo
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