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Old 03-20-2019, 06:55 AM #11
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Default Re: Comparing your abuse to someone else's

Its terribly invalidating to dismiss anyone's abuse or pain as not being "as bad as" someone else's abuse or being "mild". I see this happen with death and grief sometimes too. Someone can lose their spouse and another person can lose their second cousin and there will be people who will actually downplay the pain of the person who lost their cousin as not being as bad as or as important as the person who lost their spouse. Pain and suffering are subjective and based on how we relate to one another.That is the beauty of being human beings. Abuse is also subjective in some ways as in- someone can experience physical abuse and be totally equipped to handle life on life's terms and someone can experience the same exact form of abuse and be utterly non-functional and devastated. Its all relative to the person. I also have a hard time when people try and compare abuses as if one kind is worse than the other. In AA we call those war stories or p*ssing contests. It simply does no good to sit around trying to differentiate and compare abuses. Support the abused and you will always be on the right path.
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Old 03-28-2019, 08:38 PM #12
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Default Re: Comparing your abuse to someone else's

Quote:
Originally Posted by ennie View Post
Am I wrong for feeling upset when someone dismisses the emotional abuse I received saying,

"Other people have gone through much worse situations"? (Referring to physical abuse cases).

I do acknowledge that other people have gone through much worse situations.

What's difficult for me is that when some people treat it like it's nothing (like I'm just whining).
You’re not wrong at all for feeling upset by this. It’s not in the slightest bit helpful when someone says this sort of thing and is very invalidating.
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