Psych Central

Go Back   Forums at Psych Central > >



advertisement
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 09-24-2018, 07:50 PM   #11
Buffy01
Magnate
Buffy01 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2017
Location: Arkansas
Posts: 2,199 (SuperPoster!)
My Mood: #WhyIDidntReport

3,325 hugs
given
Default Re: #WhyIDidntReport

Quote:
Originally Posted by SorryShaped View Post
Because nobody would believe me.
Because everyone was threatened.
Because I already didn't trust anyone before it happened.
Because I didn't love me.
I believe you and hear you!
Buffy01 is offline   Reply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:

advertisement
Old 09-24-2018, 07:51 PM   #12
Buffy01
Magnate
Buffy01 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2017
Location: Arkansas
Posts: 2,199 (SuperPoster!)
My Mood: #WhyIDidntReport

3,325 hugs
given
Default Re: #WhyIDidntReport

Quote:
Originally Posted by Esmme View Post
Because he was an authority figure
Because I didn't say "stop"
Because I thought it was my fault
I seen this happen!
Buffy01 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-25-2018, 01:32 AM   #13
gracebuttercup
Member
 
gracebuttercup's Avatar
gracebuttercup has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2014
Location: earth
Posts: 96
3 yr Member
94 hugs
given
Default Re: #WhyIDidntReport

Thank you everyone who wrote about their experiences. I absolutely believe you all. Your words help me to feel less alone.
gracebuttercup is offline   Reply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Hugs from:
Old 09-25-2018, 07:21 AM   #14
nicoleflynn
Magnate
nicoleflynn has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jan 2012
Location: rochester, michigan
Posts: 2,789
5 yr Member
51 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: #WhyIDidntReport

I think it is helpful to write a letter of restorative justice......that says...this is what you did, this is how it made me feel. You had no voice when you were young, but now you can speak up (even if the abuser is dead). xoxo
nicoleflynn is offline   Reply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Hugs from:
Old 09-25-2018, 07:39 AM   #15
Arbie
Poohbah
 
Arbie's Avatar
Arbie has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 1,018 (SuperPoster!)
My Mood: #WhyIDidntReport

261 hugs
given
Default Re: #WhyIDidntReport

Because I was just a kid and was told to keep my mouth shut.
__________________
I have written the story of my life and recovery, and was given permission to place the link in my signature.


Please be warned that parts of it can be triggering if you are sensitive to descriptions of abuse. I'm not using anybody's real names, including my own.
Arbie is offline   Reply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 09-25-2018, 03:06 PM   #16
nikon
Member
nikon has no updates.
 
Member Since: Aug 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 371
615 hugs
given
Default Re: #WhyIDidntReport

because someone "in charge" saw it happen and told me not to worry about it
because when i did say something to someone else, they suggested there would be no point in reporting it
i was an adult already and i feel disappointed in myself that i just didn't report it
nikon is offline   Reply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 09-25-2018, 08:06 PM   #17
SorryShaped
Magnate
 
SorryShaped's Avatar
SorryShaped has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2017
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 2,822 (SuperPoster!)
My Mood: #WhyIDidntReport

Default Re: #WhyIDidntReport

At least Cosby got 3-10 years. It should be much more, but that may be all the time he's got left. I'm glad they did report
SorryShaped is offline   Reply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Hugs from:
Old 09-26-2018, 03:57 AM   #18
gracebuttercup
Member
 
gracebuttercup's Avatar
gracebuttercup has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2014
Location: earth
Posts: 96
3 yr Member
94 hugs
given
Default Re: #WhyIDidntReport

I told my twin friends as soon as it happened. Then never spoke again about it.
Because I was too ashamed
Because I thought I was to blame
Because I was too scared
finally because I ended up forgetting for decades, until a few years ago.

I just tried to tell someone. Waited for more than 4 hours to "chat" with someone from RAINN. I understood it must be very busy with all that is going on. Finally when My turn was up, it was a guy who said "can I help you" His name was Aaron. I said "you are a guy?" he said yes and asked me if I was comfortable talking with a guy. I said not really. Then there was nothing. He did not respond. So after waiting 4 hours to finally tell, I just left. That was RAINN online help line. IDK why but I felt too ashamed to talk to a guy about this.
gracebuttercup is offline   Reply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Hugs from:
Old 09-26-2018, 04:17 AM   #19
Nowinners
Member
 
Nowinners's Avatar
Nowinners has no updates.
 
Member Since: Aug 2017
Location: US
Posts: 315
1,064 hugs
given
Default Re: #WhyIDidntReport

I took my post off because I am not sure if it was abuse (like all of the posts on here--I am so sorry this happened to all of you) and because I am not proud of my role in it all.

So while it may help many to speak of these things and I do believe that when we are truthful it is healing--there are also situations where people are not ready talk about these things because it brings it all back and makes them feel traumatized or just embarrassed. While I am not trying to hide the truth, it is also OK if I am more comfortable keeping some things private. This is everyone's personal choice in that we have to decide what works best for us. For many of you, I know sharing is healing (though we never completely heal, only learn to accept, cope, be stronger). A lot of my experiences have been colored by the fact that I have very extreme anxiety and realizing that helps me understand more about why the first time was not a positive experience.

One of the worst things about abuse from my POV is when abusers deny their role in it all. When there is "he/she said he/she said" someone is lying and this is as bad as the crime. I find stories in the news where I do not know who is lying to be very triggering but also want to add that I do believe everyone here. No one deserves to go through this.

Last edited by Nowinners; 09-26-2018 at 07:06 AM..
Nowinners is offline   Reply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Hugs from:
Old 09-26-2018, 10:06 AM   #20
TishaBuv
Elder
 
TishaBuv's Avatar
TishaBuv has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 6,420 (SuperPoster!)
3 yr Member
764 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: #WhyIDidntReport

Iím not sorry that I didnít report. Itís a very personal decision each much make. I wonder if Iíd have come forward all these years later if he were being considered for Supreme Court Justice. I suppose I would. What he did was certainly not character becoming a position of top honor. But, my case had facts that were definitely illegal.

I also did tell my best friend the next day. We both didnít think about rape and didnít understand there were drugs that I didnít know were given to me which had that effect. We both just brushed it off as a creepy incident.

All these years later, I came to learn (through facebook) that he had a bad life as a drug addict and unsuccessful at anything. It made me cringe to see his face, but it gave me some satisfaction to see he was a failure; like justice had been served.
__________________
"And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!"
. About Me--T

Last edited by TishaBuv; 09-26-2018 at 10:32 AM..
TishaBuv is offline   Reply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 05:22 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.




advertisement

 

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice,
diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider. .
Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.

 

HomeAbout UsContact UsPrivacy PolicyTerms of UseDisclaimer
Forums HomeCommunity GuidelinesHelp


 
Helplines and Lifelines