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Old 10-10-2018, 05:51 AM   #31
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Do whatever the situation calls for to fight back. Abusers will just continue to abuse others if you do nothing/say nothing. Speak up!
I agree with this and typically have fought back in the past. There's one in particular I may hear from again. I've been debating about how I would reply IF I did hear from him, and IF I would even reply.
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Old 10-10-2018, 07:22 AM   #32
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Default Re: Does Anyone Else Feel a Strong Need to Fight Back Against Their Abuser??

That strong need to fight back is possibly PTSD. For me it manifests into emotional dysregulation. I start to tell the abuser how much they hurt me (fighting back), they NEVER show empathy or compassion, so my emotions blow up into a crying fit (then comes SH). This is my trigger, itís been a pattern, yours is probably different. It all goes back to early childhood trauma and the same situation has happened over and over. It just happened again this week. I now see it so clearly for what it is. Maybe now I can stop it!

Your ex used and abused you and thereís nothing you can say or do to get him to show remorse. The DBT workbook radical acceptance is something good for you to read.

Thatís what Iím doing.

As for exes who used and abused me in the past, I got over them in time. The anger went away on its own. Occasionally I recall the incident and a twinge of anger and pain comes back, but only for a moment. Nothing good became of any of the bad guys and thatís comforting to me.
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Last edited by TishaBuv; 10-10-2018 at 07:52 AM..
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Old 10-10-2018, 01:29 PM   #33
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Default Re: Does Anyone Else Feel a Strong Need to Fight Back Against Their Abuser??

Quote:
Originally Posted by Heartlight View Post
Do whatever the situation calls for to fight back. Abusers will just continue to abuse others if you do nothing/say nothing. Speak up!
I agree with this ... they will continue to abuse others if nothing is said/done about their abuse. Which.. naturally.. they completely disown. Even an apology.. no.. they will never apologise or have remorse.

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Old 10-10-2018, 05:52 PM   #34
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That strong need to fight back is possibly PTSD. For me it manifests into emotional dysregulation. I start to tell the abuser how much they hurt me (fighting back), they NEVER show empathy or compassion, so my emotions blow up into a crying fit (then comes SH). This is my trigger, itís been a pattern, yours is probably different. It all goes back to early childhood trauma and the same situation has happened over and over. It just happened again this week. I now see it so clearly for what it is. Maybe now I can stop it!

Your ex used and abused you and thereís nothing you can say or do to get him to show remorse. The DBT workbook radical acceptance is something good for you to read.

Thatís what Iím doing.

As for exes who used and abused me in the past, I got over them in time. The anger went away on its own. Occasionally I recall the incident and a twinge of anger and pain comes back, but only for a moment. Nothing good became of any of the bad guys and thatís comforting to me.
What I do is I end up name calling and telling them what a freaking A-hole they are and with swear words and any bad name I can think of. Then I cut them off entirely, or continue the blowout fight (past I'm talking about). Now, all I would do is simply say "you're a total monster, go away and never contact me again.". LOL.

But I hear you!!!! They never do own up to anything, OR show remorse OR empathy. It's like trying to get blood from a rock, saying that they've hurt you.
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Old 10-10-2018, 08:37 PM   #35
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They may not show empathy, remorse or apologize BUT seeing them arrested and sent to jail would give them a different perspective.
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Old 10-11-2018, 05:59 AM   #36
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They may not show empathy, remorse or apologize BUT seeing them arrested and sent to jail would give them a different perspective.
That is one effective way to fight back when the abuse was illegal.
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Old 10-12-2018, 04:37 AM   #37
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That is one effective way to fight back when the abuse was illegal.

((TishaBuv)) Thanks!! Umm...and how is abuse ever considered legal?
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Old 10-12-2018, 05:57 AM   #38
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((TishaBuv)) Thanks!! Umm...and how is abuse ever considered legal?
Verbal and emotional abuse is not illegal.
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Old 10-12-2018, 06:04 AM   #39
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In France, verbal abuse is illegal; we are so behind the times.
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Old 10-12-2018, 06:15 AM   #40
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Liability for Abusive or Insulting Language | LegalMatch Law Library

Interesting information about the legal ramifications of abuse.
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