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Old 12-04-2017, 11:36 PM   #1
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Default How do you deal with feeling invalidated?

Nobody would know from meeting me or looking at me that my life has been a struggle. I never knew these things were abnormal. I do my best to put on a happy face and am blessed with success in certain areas of life, but when I'm down or depressed nobody understands why I'm upset about the past, and nobody knows that I'm still being challenged in the present. I feel invalidated. Like everything I go through doesn't matter to the world.

I live with a narc parent and am so close to getting out, I was brought up in a household of rage, violence, bloodshed, and police calls/arrests. I later became chronically ill for many years and was made to feel like a nuisance to be watched over and fed, was molested, had to save up for my own surgery after high school, lost my dogs, tried to replace that hole with a puppy, lost the puppy, lost a baby, and now I was lucky enough to meet the most wonderful person in the world: someone who showed me none of this was my fault and just talked crap on the world, stood up for me, made me laugh in the process, made me feel so powerful and complete and hopefuly, and he recently developed cancer and passed in only months. I personally know others who have had much more severe trauma, but I'd still like a simple caring response from time to time.

But the world doesn't care. I'm surrounded by people who don't understand why I would still be upset two weeks after my friends death, people who change the subject or tell me I must have not been taking care of myself when I told them I spent a large part of my life ill. I feel so alone. I would never respond like that to someone in pain. I know I will continue to reach for the stars, but I can't help but feel that I don't want these people around any success and happiness I may find. I don't feel they deserve it. I'm not sure if I should be more forgiving, but it's so hard to keep going without any support.
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Old 12-06-2017, 08:11 PM   #2
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Hello Kelp: Thank you for sharing your experiences. My condolences on the loss of your special friend. I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit. May I suggest you introduce yourself over on PC's New Member Introductions forum? Here's a link:

There's a lot of support that can be available here on PC. The more you post, & reply to other members' posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are the chat rooms where you'll be able to interact with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) So please keep posting!
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Old 12-07-2017, 06:23 AM   #3
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Default Re: How do you deal with feeling invalidated?

Sadly, the world is so busy with their own problems that they don't recognize others worries and pain. xo

I am SO sorry for your loss. Grieving takes as long as it takes; there is no time frame for it. Unfortunately people can be ignorant and insensitive; yes, continue to reach for the stars.
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Old 12-08-2017, 04:29 PM   #4
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Default Re: How do you deal with feeling invalidated?

You are on a higher emotional plane,accept your superiority.
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Old 12-08-2017, 06:09 PM   #5
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Default Re: How do you deal with feeling invalidated?

It's hard to lose someone who means so much to us but that really is what life brings us constant changes and losses
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Old 12-09-2017, 07:58 PM   #6
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Default Re: How do you deal with feeling invalidated?

The problem is that a lot of people don't know "how" to care so they distance from someone who is struggling or try to change the subject. That doesn't mean you don't deserve to have someone in your life that does care. A lot of people gravitate to positive people because they hope to discover some ways in how to attain a more positive outlook and way of living their lives and a lot of people literally plow through life and never really sit and engage the way you need to be engaged and heard.

The best place to go when needing help is to find a good therapist that understand how to help a patient work through trauma. It doesn't matter how severe a trauma is, what matters more is that you get help to mourn whatever you need to mourn and learn ways to help yourself evolve into a stronger individual despite the past. Each person is different in how long they need the guidance of a good therapist.

Welcome to PC and I hope you find some caring support here on the forums.
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