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Old 11-14-2017, 02:59 PM   #1
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Default I can't cope with abuse anymore

This is my first time using this kind of forum or website where I write whats happening to me and my feelings, so bare with me. I am a 15 year old girl, with two younger brothers, one 14 and one about 20 months old. As you can tell since I'm posting this in the abuse section, I'll be talking about abuse. I and my brother have been abused for years, probably equally between physical and emotionally but it has increased during our early teen years and now. I think this is because we think more about whats happening to us and why. The problem lies is that I think our mom is going to have a negative effect on my baby brother (toddler? I don't really know). Since she physically and emotionally abuses him too, I'm not sure if he really knows about his emotions due to being a baby. My mom screams loudly at him a lot, basically daily, you may think this is discipline, but he is just a baby/toddler that isn't smart as me or my brother. She hits him too and he cries to the point where sometimes I wonder if ever my brother or I will snap and do something to ourselves. Its mostly at night and in the afternoon, where I and my brother have trouble sleeping due to my moms screams ( which are really loud ), for example: her room is downstairs in the basement while my room is above it, and i can clearly hear her screaming, causing me not to sleep at night, which troubles me with school and stress. The real reason I started to think to make an account was the screaming was accuring at this moment and it was hard to bare, today I didn't even go to school for the first time this year since I was too tired. I love going to school since the more I go the less I get to stay home which is why I never be absent even when I'm sick, but it saddens me since my mother is home alone with my little brother. The sole reason for this post is advice since I am not that experience in life but there are others who have had worse. Another thing that kind of goes off topic, but my back has been hurting for a long while now and I'm 15? I know it isn't normal and have told my mom but as usual I'm either ignored or forgotten, so any guesses on what or how my pain is caused?
PS. Forgot to add that me and my slightly younger brother don't really do bad things to be hit, obviously my brother is lacking in grades ever since the emotional abuse hits him more than me, since I am older/maturer by a bit and can cope more,
Sorry and
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Old 11-14-2017, 11:01 PM   #2
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Default Re: I can't cope with abuse anymore

Hi there, its great that you are reaching out for help. It sounds like what s going on at home is really upsetting you and worrying you, and is generally not okay for any of the children in your home. It is definitely okay to speak up and ask for help, and I'd say your brothers are lucky they have someone who is taking the courage to speak up for them (not to mention for yourself).
I guess my first question is do you have any adults in your life that you trust and could talk to about this? Who have you got around you that you can trust, or you might feel comfortable talking to... an aunt? A teacher? A guidance counsellor at school? A neighbor of friend of the family?
From an outside perspective here it sounds like your family needs a bit of help and you can't change things on your own (you are just a kid too). An adult you can trust would be the best person to go to if one is available. If not there are other options too.
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Old 11-15-2017, 01:02 AM   #3
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Default Re: I can't cope with abuse anymore

Hello Stalker.
It is nice to meet you and I am sorry you are going through everything you are. You are a very courageous young lady though - even to speak about it as you have here. Great job! ❤ I didn't have your courage when I was your age but I wish I would have. As you stated, you and your siblings are being abused. Nothing can be done to help you and your siblings until the abuse stops. We cannot do that from here. All we can do from here is lend you a "virtual ear" and a "virtual shoulder of comfort" and words of advice. You cannot do it from there without risking danger. You can however do one of many things:

- talk to a trusted family member n ask for help
- talk to a trusted teacher, guidance counselor, principal, pastor or other adult figure and ask for help
- call or text an abuse hotline
- call the police

As to your back - depends on where on your back, what kinds of activities you have been doing, what n how much you have been eating n drinking, and if there is any bruising ... when you say "long while" is that hours, days, weeks...?
Life is not measured by the amount of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away
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Old 11-15-2017, 01:47 AM   #4
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Default Re: I can't cope with abuse anymore

Hello and welcome to the forum. I am really sorry for what you and your brother's are going through and I'm glad that you are reaching out here for help.

I echo the advice of prior responses that have been given here. Please reach out to a trusted adult, either a relative, teacher or school psychologist, or even the police. It sounds to me like intervention is needed.

As for your baby brother, it is unlikely he will remember the abuse, however, he will likely be impacted by this abuse through attachment and other issues in the future. It is possible that you and your other brother went through similar abuse at that age that you don't remember.

Please do reach out. No one should have to go through this. You and your brother's need someone to step up and help you and put a stop to the abuse.
"Do you know whatís really scary? You want to forget something. Totally wipe it off your mind. But you never can. It canít go away, you see. AndÖ and it follows you around like a ghost."
~ A Tale of Two Sisters (Janghwa, Hongryeon) (2003)

"I feel like an outsider, and I always will feel like one. Iíve always felt that I wasnít a member of any particular group."
~ Anne Rice
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