Psych Central

Go Back   Forums at Psych Central > Mental Health Support > Survivors of Abuse



advertisement
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 07-11-2018, 06:34 AM   #1
Member
circles5 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2011
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 173
5 yr Member
7 hugs
given
Default Trouble trusting my therapist... or anyone really..

Hi.
I dont feel i deserve to post in this subforum for some reason. I dont feel like what i went through is bad enough... or maybe i feel like i desrved what happened to me... anyhow.


Ive been told i have 'emotional deprivation' as a schema issue. So something went horribly wrong in my first two years of life.
I believe this is highly likely due to my father who is a malignant narcissist and my mum who is has undiagnosed issues that seem uncanningly similar to my own.


So my current therapy is aimed at helping me work through the sustained trauma of surviving under the same roof as my parents. In particular were focussing on my; avoidant personality disorder.


But i cant trust the therapist. She seems smart.. and knowledgeable. Shes nice....
But i keep seeing my dad in her. I keep wandering if her 'caring attitutude' is iust a facade and shes actually a psychopath there to toy with me and undo me piece by piece like my father did.
I have major trust issues that are only becoming apparent to me in the last month or so.
I dont even trust my best friend


People get one chance with me. And if they do one thing out of line - even if it turns out i was being delusional and got the wrong end of the stick- it doesnt matter: they are on my blacklist of people to trust and they wont get the real me.. theyll get a version of myself i believe will be acceptable to them instead.
I will lock up my real emotions and feelings and keep them at a distance as i dont want to get hurt anymore.


How do i learn to trust others? I have an extremley strong confirmation bias. If 20 people show me kindness i think theyre trying to exploit me or are taking the piss or pitying me.
Then the one person is unkind to me - well i almost like them as at least i feel like theyre being honest with how they feel about me.


I dont know how to begin trusting. I dont think i ever have trusted people as these problems i have stem from before i even have memories.
Im feeling stuck.


C5
__________________
DX: BDD, OCD, Health Anxiety,
Avoidant Personality Disorder, OCPD, Dependant PD.

RX: 5mg diazepam daily
___
circles5 is offline   Reply With Quote
Hugs from:

advertisement
Old 07-11-2018, 05:23 PM   #2
Member
 
cluelessgal's Avatar
cluelessgal has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2012
Location: Planet Earth
Posts: 123
My Mood:

5 yr Member
59 hugs
given
Default Re: Trouble trusting my therapist... or anyone really..

Hey Circles5,


I have trust issues myself....so don't know if my "tips" would be useful, because I understand what having trust issues means......or completely useless, since I have trust issues and they haven't cured me.


First, the biggest person you can trust - is yourself. No disappointment coz you know what to expect from yourself.

All the things you do because you want to - expected.
All the things you do even if you don't want to - expected
All the things you don't do because you don't want to - expected
All the things you don't do even if you want to - expected


Please maintain a journal - about your day, about you, about the people in your life. Writing kinda compartmentalizes the gazillion things you have in your head. You'd be surprising how insightful your journals can be. It'd help you build a better relationship with yourself. You'd be clearer about what you want and what you don't want - and hence can develop such filters with others.



When you have a better relationship with yourself, end of the day, no matter how bad others betray you - you can trust yourself to get up, dust yourself and walk away.


When you know you've got your back.....you've nothing to worry about what others do to you.


Second, give yourself time. Years of damage cannot be undid in few sessions. Slowly, steadily, you'd be able to trust your therapist. But do let your therapist know you're having trust issues with her. She'd understand!


Thirdly, do practice mindful meditation - try think about nothing and focus on your breathing. It helps activate something called 'Mohawk region of self-awareness' in your brain. Again, this will help you better understand your needs and wants.



Hope this was useful!
cluelessgal is offline   Reply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 07-12-2018, 03:13 AM   #3
Member
circles5 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2011
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 173
5 yr Member
7 hugs
given
Default Re: Trouble trusting my therapist... or anyone really..

Very helpful. Thankyou very much clulessgal.
Thats all on point and exactly what i needed to read right now.
Kind regards
c5
__________________
DX: BDD, OCD, Health Anxiety,
Avoidant Personality Disorder, OCPD, Dependant PD.

RX: 5mg diazepam daily
___
circles5 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-15-2018, 12:10 AM   #4
Member
 
Daisy Dead Petals's Avatar
Daisy Dead Petals has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2015
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 87
2 yr Member
94 hugs
given
Default Re: Trouble trusting my therapist... or anyone really..

I have many of the same issues. As far as trust in therapy, what has helped me most is talking about my fears and perceptions of what is going on in the room OVER and OVER again. This process takes a ton of time and ample, often repetitious discussion. A very patient and non defensive therapist is required.
Daisy Dead Petals is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 04:00 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



advertisement

 

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice,
diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.
Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.

 

HomeAbout UsContact UsPrivacy PolicyTerms of UseDisclaimer
Forums HomeCommunity GuidelinesHelp


 
Helplines and Lifelines