Psych Central

Go Back   Forums at Psych Central > Mental Health Support > Survivors of Abuse

Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 09-27-2017, 04:53 AM   #1
New Member
tellthewhale has no updates.
Member Since: Sep 2017
Location: Uk
Posts: 2
Default Was I abused?


I need some help to try and unravel things that happened in my childhood.

As a young teen, my parents separated and my mother moved in an alcoholic who beat us, emotionally abused us and smashed the house up regularly. I developed anorexia and used to self harm. My mother has a narcissistic personality disorder, so I suffered abuse from her throughout my entire life.

When she split from her boyfriend, she moved another partner in pretty much immediately. I was 17 at the time. This man spent time with me, gradually taking me away from the house and other people under the pretense of helping to me recover from my anorexia etc etc. I find this very difficult to talk about, so I won't go into detail, but the relationship became sexual and he would take pictures of me, tell me I was special, get me presents, tell me not to tell anyone etc.

I guess my confusion comes from the age that I was at the time. Although it started when I was 17, it continued until I was 18 and moved out, so does that mean it was my fault because of the age I was? I was obviously in a very vulnerable position at the time, and looking at things as an adult, I feel like he took advantage of my vulnerability and used the fact that I was being neglected as a way into my life. I sometimes see him around now, and it's not like seeing an ex, he makes my skin crawl and makes me feel sick.

Thanks in advance.
tellthewhale is offline   Reply With Quote
Hugs from:

Old 09-27-2017, 04:47 PM   #2
Grand Magnate
Shazerac's Avatar
Shazerac is attempting to contact the mother ship.
Member Since: May 2015
Location: earth
Posts: 3,029 (SuperPoster!)
My Mood:

3 yr Member
1,895 hugs
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Was I abused?

Welcome to psych central

NO! Absolutely NO. This is not your fault. As a stepfather he had no right to use you for sex. You feel creeped out when you see him because he is a creep and a child molester.

Eat a live frog for breakfast every morning and nothing worse can happen to you that day!

"Ask yourself whether the dream of heaven and greatness should be left waiting for us in our graves - or whether it should be ours here and now and on this earth. Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged

Bipolar type 2 rapid cycling DX 2013 -
Seroquel 100
Celexa 20 mg
Xanax .5 mg prn
Modafanil 100 mg

Shazerac is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-28-2017, 01:30 PM   #3
Grand Member
dlantern has no updates.
Member Since: Feb 2017
Location: Logan
Posts: 764
My Mood:

7 hugs
Default Re: Was I abused?

I am sorry for the pain, strive hard to not carry his pain unless it is time to need , apart of the way of being for yourself. Don't neglect etc unless needed that is all you can do in life when u are dealt a hand of disadvantage.
dlantern is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-29-2017, 03:50 AM   #4
New Member
tellthewhale has no updates.
Member Since: Sep 2017
Location: Uk
Posts: 2
Default Re: Was I abused?

[QUOTE=Shazerac;5836255]Welcome to psych central

Thank you for taking the time to reply. I've held this inside for 16 years, and after having advice from people on forums, I finally told my husband last night. He was wonderful, as expected. I cried tears I didn't know I'd held inside and felt lighter, although now I feel vulnerable, like my husband might decide he doesn't like me because I'm disgusting. I know that's something I need to work through and I know he'd never feel that way. He told me he loves me even more because he knows what I've been through and have stayed strong. I guess it's a bumpy road to recovery. Thanks again for replying.
tellthewhale is offline   Reply With Quote
Hugs from:

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 11:41 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice,
diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.
Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.


HomeAbout UsContact UsPrivacy PolicyTerms of UseDisclaimer
Forums HomeCommunity GuidelinesHelp

Helplines and Lifelines