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Unread 04-10-2017, 11:17 AM   #1
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Default How Often Do You Share Stories of Your Abuse in Real Life?

I told some people when I was in my 20's and 30's and didn't like the reaction I got (I'm 50 now). I got a lot of "it wasn't as bad as you think.. everyone thinks their childhood is messed up... you're just exaggerating." (I've even had more than one counselor express this same attitude towards me when I tried to talk about it).

I sometimes wish I had said something like, "Oh really? How many times did you see your dad punch and stomp on your mom?" and "How many times did your mom ask you to call the police because she was afraid your dad was going to hurt her again?" I don't even like to recall the nasty mind games my dad played on my mom... or the nasty things they said to and about each other, either to us, or in our presence. I still find it hard to even write about the abuse I personally suffered.

In some ways I think I probably look like I'm doing okay. But, I do struggle with just being civil with people at times.

And unfortunately, the average person with whom I'm acquainted is pretty heartless when it comes to how they respond to victims of childhood abuse.

I still feel traumatized in many ways... and feel a lot of confusion about how to deal with my memories and feelings about my childhood. I'm not even sure if I should talk about it more, or just concentrate on what I can do to make myself a better person today.

Anyway, do you consider yourself to be relatively successful in life, and do you tell people about the abuse?
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Unread 04-10-2017, 11:33 AM   #2
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Default Re: How Often Do You Share Stories of Your Abuse in Real Life?

I have never shared stories about my childhood abuse to anybody but my best friend. She thinks it's downright disgusting that I was treated that way. I cant imagine anyone else's reaction being the same though.
I had a lot of physical abuse growing up and lots of things I just feel are too much to tell to just anybody. I have shared some things with my partner and he doesn't really seem all the surprised by it.. maybe because his childhood was the same. Im not sure.

I wouldn't class myself as successful. I am in an abusive relationship, trying to get out but with young children the financial burden makes it almost impossible to get by alone.. BUT i am happy. I am medicated for my depression and anxiety, i have a roof over my head and food in my belly and most of all I have 3 children that i absolutely adore and spend my life trying to give them the best possible memories and set them up for a happy life. I do what I can.
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Unread 04-10-2017, 11:36 AM   #3
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Default Re: How Often Do You Share Stories of Your Abuse in Real Life?

I've told no one in my life… It won't change things or make anything better.
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Unread 04-10-2017, 11:43 AM   #4
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Default Re: How Often Do You Share Stories of Your Abuse in Real Life?

Likewise. I did when I was younger, regretted it and am the same age as you, and would never do it again other than to a t.
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Unread 04-10-2017, 11:56 AM   #5
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Default Re: How Often Do You Share Stories of Your Abuse in Real Life?

Talking about it with people that I know in real life is pointless and accomplishes nothing.

I've only told 3 people and I only told them because they also had severe childhood abuse that they had to deal with.

I only talk to people about my issues who have gone through something similar and only after I've known them for awhile.
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Unread 04-10-2017, 12:24 PM   #6
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Default Re: How Often Do You Share Stories of Your Abuse in Real Life?

The only person I've told is my counselor. I'm 47 and just disclosed 6 months ago. A long time to keep secrets.
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Unread 04-10-2017, 12:50 PM   #7
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Default Re: How Often Do You Share Stories of Your Abuse in Real Life?

I found this today, and have read it several times.

https://healingfromcomplextraumaandp...gger-for-many/

I've struggled with feeling the hurt and abandonment, of people who are in my life that I have shared some things with. This completely validated my feelings.
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Unread 04-10-2017, 03:36 PM   #8
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Default Re: How Often Do You Share Stories of Your Abuse in Real Life?

I've told my last two Ts. They were very supportive.
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Unread 04-10-2017, 03:40 PM   #9
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Default Re: How Often Do You Share Stories of Your Abuse in Real Life?

Yes and I have got a mixed reaction. Some people don't believe it ever happened. I have lost most of my family because I spoke up. I used to let it upset me but not now. I know the truth and that is all that matters.
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Unread 04-10-2017, 03:54 PM   #10
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Default Re: How Often Do You Share Stories of Your Abuse in Real Life?

Not often, and I haven't shared much about the abuse..
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