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Old 01-02-2019, 07:31 PM   #11
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Originally Posted by sarahsweets View Post
Try not to judge yourself by your mistakes.
That going to be hard!
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Old 01-04-2019, 05:10 AM   #12
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I looked myself in the eye, using a mirror usually in the bathroom, and say affirmations. I'm beautiful, I have an excellant memory, and I repeat them over and over until I feel them. Usually a few minutes each day.
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Old 01-07-2019, 01:41 PM   #13
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I looked myself in the eye, using a mirror usually in the bathroom, and say affirmations. I'm beautiful, I have an excellant memory, and I repeat them over and over until I feel them. Usually a few minutes each day.
I am already doing that! I have positive quotes that I say to myself.
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Old 01-08-2019, 12:04 AM   #14
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How does a person gain self esteem? I had read lot of books and YouTube video. What step would I need to take to have self esteem!

I don't know how could someone build a self-esteem all on her own. I feel she would need a therapist and a good support system. She needs to hear words and affirmation from the external world until she can internalize them and make them her own.
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Old 01-08-2019, 03:28 PM   #15
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I don't know how could someone build a self-esteem all on her own. I feel she would need a therapist and a good support system. She needs to hear words and affirmation from the external world until she can internalize them and make them her own.
From my own experience in therapy and reading of the research, I actually believe it's the other way around. Someone with no or very low self-esteem can be told wonderful things by others every single day and still feel awful because they have not developed a positive relationship with the Self.

Happiness and peace begin with the Self. We can share our joy with others but if someone looks to others for all of their joy or affirmation that can be a very unhappy path. There is some really interesting research coming from marriage therapists who noted a trend among young women entering marriage with the belief that their husband will be the source of all their happiness and affirmation. This in many cases is a strong predictor of marriage problems or even divorce. Though that's just one example, I'm not suggesting all young women do that or that men never do.

We all benefit from support and it is great to have but what about people who are isolated and have no access or desire to be around others? They can still be kind and loving to themselves. There is hope for all.

That said, I respect your thoughts and sharing on the thread Ennie. I am just sharing my perspective. Peace and positive energy to you
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Old 01-08-2019, 03:30 PM   #16
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I don't know how could someone build a self-esteem all on her own. I feel she would need a therapist and a good support system. She needs to hear words and affirmation from the external world until she can internalize them and make them her own.
A therapist is a good idea yes. I'm just conscious that not everyone has access and some are not willing to do therapy d/t societal stigma. I have family members who feel like that and also say they want to feel better about themselves...so I send them strategies and research articles on building or improving self-esteem.
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Old 01-08-2019, 04:17 PM   #17
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A therapist is a good idea yes. I'm just conscious that not everyone has access and some are not willing to do therapy d/t societal stigma. I have family members who feel like that and also say they want to feel better about themselves...so I send them strategies and research articles on building or improving self-esteem.
Great insights.
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Old 01-08-2019, 06:26 PM   #18
Buffy01
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Originally Posted by ennie View Post
I don't know how could someone build a self-esteem all on her own. I feel she would need a therapist and a good support system. She needs to hear words and affirmation from the external world until she can internalize them and make them her own.
I can't find a therapist right now. I don't have a good support system especially at home. I have some positive quotes I try to say everyday.
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Old 01-08-2019, 06:29 PM   #19
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Originally Posted by HopefullyLost1211 View Post
From my own experience in therapy and reading of the research, I actually believe it's the other way around. Someone with no or very low self-esteem can be told wonderful things by others every single day and still feel awful because they have not developed a positive relationship with the Self.

Happiness and peace begin with the Self. We can share our joy with others but if someone looks to others for all of their joy or affirmation that can be a very unhappy path. There is some really interesting research coming from marriage therapists who noted a trend among young women entering marriage with the belief that their husband will be the source of all their happiness and affirmation. This in many cases is a strong predictor of marriage problems or even divorce. Though that's just one example, I'm not suggesting all young women do that or that men never do.

We all benefit from support and it is great to have but what about people who are isolated and have no access or desire to be around others? They can still be kind and loving to themselves. There is hope for all.

That said, I respect your thoughts and sharing on the thread Ennie. I am just sharing my perspective. Peace and positive energy to you

I agree with what you said about people getting married to feel good. I am isolated from everyone.
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Old 01-08-2019, 06:31 PM   #20
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Originally Posted by HopefullyLost1211 View Post
A therapist is a good idea yes. I'm just conscious that not everyone has access and some are not willing to do therapy d/t societal stigma. I have family members who feel like that and also say they want to feel better about themselves...so I send them strategies and research articles on building or improving self-esteem.
I have trouble getting around and find a therapist who specializes in self esteem
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