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Old 08-04-2018, 01:27 PM   #1
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Default How do you deal with small nasty comments?

I lived through a situation that kind of exposed me publically to quite a large number of people in my community. Some like me while others are jealous and take every opportunity to turn things around and say something nasty. Like they talk whatever but they talk about me and say small nasty comments about my career or about my psychology. I dont care personally because as long as they are powerless against me, i dont care. But its just the words.. the talking...that bothers me. I lack self confidence... so this small talk contributes to lowering my self confidence. I am tired to fight against it all the time. I dont know how to respond. Should I ? i even thought about talking to the police haha... i dont know what to do!! I am so tired!!
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Old 08-06-2018, 04:22 PM   #2
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Gee... I wish I knew what to tell you about this. But I don't imagine I do. However I noticed no one had replied to your post. So I thought I would.

I guess my thinking on the subject would be that you should not respond. "Getting your goat", so to speak, is probably just what these people want. So perhaps the answer here is to simply ignore them. And then if you are seeing a therapist take the opportunity to talk, in therapy, about how all of this makes you feel.

I know you wrote you don't care. But I would suspect that on some level you do. And these sorts of things hurt even if you tell yourself they don't. It's important to have someone with whom you can process this. However my personal bias is that you can't do this with family members or friends. So therapy, it seems to me, may be the alternative.

Beyond that, I suspect the answer here may be to simply focus on your life, your activities & your goals. Ultimately you can't control what other people say or do. You only have control over yourself. So concentrating on what you want to achieve in your life, & simply ignoring the "tongue waggers", may be the best or at least the most practical solution. I wish you well...
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Old 12-29-2018, 03:17 PM   #3
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Default Re: How do you deal with small nasty comments?

Quote:
Originally Posted by emma345 View Post
I lived through a situation that kind of exposed me publically to quite a large number of people in my community. Some like me while others are jealous and take every opportunity to turn things around and say something nasty. Like they talk whatever but they talk about me and say small nasty comments about my career or about my psychology. I dont care personally because as long as they are powerless against me, i dont care. But its just the words.. the talking...that bothers me. I lack self confidence... so this small talk contributes to lowering my self confidence. I am tired to fight against it all the time. I dont know how to respond. Should I ? i even thought about talking to the police haha... i dont know what to do!! I am so tired!!
You are not alone! I'm sorry that you are struggling right now. I'm going through this with myself!
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Old 12-29-2018, 03:21 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Skeezyks View Post
Gee... I wish I knew what to tell you about this. But I don't imagine I do. However I noticed no one had replied to your post. So I thought I would.

I guess my thinking on the subject would be that you should not respond. "Getting your goat", so to speak, is probably just what these people want. So perhaps the answer here is to simply ignore them. And then if you are seeing a therapist take the opportunity to talk, in therapy, about how all of this makes you feel.

I know you wrote you don't care. But I would suspect that on some level you do. And these sorts of things hurt even if you tell yourself they don't. It's important to have someone with whom you can process this. However my personal bias is that you can't do this with family members or friends. So therapy, it seems to me, may be the alternative.

Beyond that, I suspect the answer here may be to simply focus on your life, your activities & your goals. Ultimately you can't control what other people say or do. You only have control over yourself. So concentrating on what you want to achieve in your life, & simply ignoring the "tongue waggers", may be the best or at least the most practical solution. I wish you well...
That is great advice! I wish that I had thought about that myself! I will keep this in mind.
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Old 12-30-2018, 12:33 PM   #5
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I think Iíd i had more context then it might be easier for me to come up with something. I donít mean your personal business I just mean generally.
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Old 12-30-2018, 02:36 PM   #6
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I comfort myself by telling myself that at least I'm not as petty as they are. They are hurting themselves and living a lesser life by being so small minded and gossipy. You are better than them. 💜
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Old 01-08-2019, 12:20 AM   #7
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I comfort myself by telling myself that at least I'm not as petty as they are. They are hurting themselves and living a lesser life by being so small minded and gossipy. You are better than them. 💜
Yes. You are not the one making the nasty comments, because you have way better things to do with your time than to gossip. Don't give them attention because they are simply not worth your time.
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Old 01-08-2019, 04:27 AM   #8
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Default Re: How do you deal with small nasty comments?

I also think it depends on whether the comments are harassing or not. Are they slanderous? Or basic gossip?
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Old 01-08-2019, 06:40 PM   #9
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I think Iíd i had more context then it might be easier for me to come up with something. I donít mean your personal business I just mean generally.
I should tell myself it not personal it business
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Old 01-08-2019, 06:43 PM   #10
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Yes. You are not the one making the nasty comments, because you have way better things to do with your time than to gossip. Don't give them attention because they are simply not worth your time.
That is great advice!I wish that I had thought about that myself!
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