How do you deal with small nasty comments? - Page 2 - Forums at Psych Central


Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 01-08-2019, 05:45 PM #11
Buffy01 Buffy01 is online now
Magnate
 
Member Since: Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 2,345
Buffy01 Buffy01 is online now
Magnate
Buffy01 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 2,345 (SuperPoster!)

3,477 hugs
given
Default Re: How do you deal with small nasty comments?

Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahsweets View Post
I also think it depends on whether the comments are harassing or not. Are they slanderous? Or basic gossip?
I never thought about that myself! I need to ask myself that question all the time!
Buffy01 is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 01-17-2019, 07:37 AM #12
Marylin's Avatar
Marylin Marylin is offline
Magnate
 
Member Since: Feb 2015
Location: England,UK
Posts: 2,073
Marylin Marylin is offline
Magnate
Marylin's Avatar
Marylin has no updates.
 
Member Since: Feb 2015
Location: England,UK
Posts: 2,073

3 yr Member
762 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: How do you deal with small nasty comments?

I was bullied in art class,I didn't confront them,I remained calm and I kept silent and I didn't give them a reaction of being hurt or upset which is probably what they would have wanted and enjoyed.I won't be going back to that class either and because the tutor joined in with the bullies in picking on me I wrote a message of complaint to her boss.Sometimes we have to be the bigger person and not give them the satisfaction of being upset.If they can see that they can't bring you down or impede your progress then they learn their efforts are to no avail.After all they are doing it to impede our progress because they are jealous.I was not enjoying the art class anyway as it was art craft and not drawing and painting which I like more.
Marylin is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 01-24-2019, 08:10 PM #13
CANDC's Avatar
CANDC CANDC is offline
Super Moderator
Community Support Team
Community Liaison
Chat Leader
 
Member Since: May 2014
Location: Northeast USA New England
Posts: 11,373
CANDC CANDC is offline
Super Moderator
Community Support Team
Community Liaison
Chat Leader
CANDC's Avatar
CANDC has no updates.
 
Member Since: May 2014
Location: Northeast USA New England
Posts: 11,373 (SuperPoster!)

3 yr Member
1,176 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: How do you deal with small nasty comments?

I agree that not reacting and remaining calm is best things with bullies who mentally bully me or emotionally. That is usually what people are doing these days if they are trying to harass people is to use intimidation. They get nothing if you do not react unless they threaten your safety. That is a different situation
__________________
Super Moderator

Community Support Team

"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both...

I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference."
Robert Frost
CANDC is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 01-24-2019, 09:51 PM #14
CelestialFlame's Avatar
CelestialFlame CelestialFlame is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Nov 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 191
CelestialFlame CelestialFlame is offline
Member
CelestialFlame's Avatar
CelestialFlame The end is only the beginning
 
Member Since: Nov 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 191

9 hugs
given
Default Re: How do you deal with small nasty comments?

Usually i just ignore them because i really do not care about other peoples opinions or thoughts of me. They really are not that important to bother me. I am busy trying to live my life and do not have time for people who are rude.
__________________
Character is like a tree and reputation its shadow. The shadow is what we think it is and the tree is the real thing.
~Abraham Lincoln.
CelestialFlame is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 03-13-2019, 04:54 PM #15
daz1056 daz1056 is offline
Junior Member
 
Member Since: Mar 2019
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 17
daz1056 daz1056 is offline
Junior Member
daz1056 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2019
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 17

Default Re: How do you deal with small nasty comments?

I once read somewhere that at least 2% of people you meet will dislike you, No matter who you are. This is the problem, everywhere you go you'll find people who dislike you but this is also true for every single person on the planet.

So it's not a matter of getting them to like you, you can't please everyone. Period. Stop the fighting, stop wasting your energy on them, just let them be, let them say what they want to say and have it wash over you.

The best way I deal with situations like this is to remove myself from their presence where possible, on Facebook, for example, I have people who are on my 'friends' list but I select 'do not show their posts' on my feed so I don't need to deal with them. This is just one example, have a think about how you can do this with the haters you're experiencing and reduce you're exposure to them.
daz1056 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 03-13-2019, 05:26 PM #16
Ptak's Avatar
Ptak Ptak is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Mar 2019
Location: Home
Posts: 221
Ptak Ptak is offline
Member
Ptak's Avatar
Ptak has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2019
Location: Home
Posts: 221 (SuperPoster!)

250 hugs
given
Default Re: How do you deal with small nasty comments?

I have also been called names and bullied. Actually, I haven't experienced much name calling in my life, but I am very sensitive to words, and recently, someone called me something very false and also I felt bullied by them too. It's interesting to me that sometimes, the one who does the bullying seems to feel like the victim themselves of something. I know I definitely triggered something in this other person unintentionally. Anyway, I was feeling very badly about this incident, and someone said to me "you do know that just because someone calls you something doesn't make it true, right?" Something clicked for me then. It's so true. Someone can say something about me and it can be absolutely untrue. Like in that instance. To the OP, I get what you are saying. Words and even just knowing that people are acting that way behind your back, can lower self esteem and make you feel badly. Perhaps spend more time with the people who are nice to you and who you trust and do like. Find ways to keep yourself safe as well. That's important. I try to remember, too, that people who gossip and talk about others in such a way, are really not very evolved (emotionally, socially). I would also ask myself "Am I doing something that is making them upset? How can I smooth things with them? Is that possible?" That is just me though.
Ptak is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 03-21-2019, 05:13 PM #17
StreetcarBlanche's Avatar
StreetcarBlanche StreetcarBlanche is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Mar 2018
Location: U.S.
Posts: 236
StreetcarBlanche StreetcarBlanche is offline
Member
StreetcarBlanche's Avatar
StreetcarBlanche I don't want realism. I want magic.
 
Member Since: Mar 2018
Location: U.S.
Posts: 236

67 hugs
given
Default Re: How do you deal with small nasty comments?

Online: I put the member on "ignore."

Offline: I address the snark if it directly effects my job or friendships. Otherwise if it doesn't effect either, I ignore it.

I've had to deal with a lot of bullies over the years b/c I have was raised as a doormat/codependent/scapegoat of my family system. So, I've spent my whole life fighting that "programming" with the help of therapy and using interpersonal situations to practice what I've learned. Sometimes I'm successful, sometimes not.
StreetcarBlanche is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 03-28-2019, 09:59 PM #18
mountainstream mountainstream is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Apr 2008
Location: N/A
Posts: 1,482
mountainstream mountainstream is offline
Poohbah
mountainstream has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2008
Location: N/A
Posts: 1,482

10 yr Member
451 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: How do you deal with small nasty comments?

mountainstream is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 09:39 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

Psych Central Forums

Psych Central is the leading mental health website, overseen by mental health professionals since 1995.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice,
diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider. .
Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.
Please Read the full Disclaimer.