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Old 07-04-2018, 05:04 PM   #11
stormyisland
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Default Re: Comparing myself to everyone

I'm exactly the same to be honest. People I trained with are all consultants and I'm only about to start my first year of speciality training. But then I try to think I might have done other things (like had kids) and I might be more empathetic. And in ten years time nobody will care who got where first.
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Old 07-05-2018, 05:56 AM   #12
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And in ten years time nobody will care who got where first.
This amazingly is one of the very few thoughts that keep me sane. In ten years time so many things won't matter anymore (hopefully). I'll have to work hard for this, but even if things don't go perfectly in ten years I will have achieved most of the things that I want right now and all the psychiatric history of mine won't matter anymore.

But sadly, I also think a lot in the other direction. Thinking: I wish I could go back 10 years and change this or that. I guess I'm a bit perfectionist. I want to be the best and I'm frustrated to accept that I'm not and never will be. And being surrounded by succesfull doctors all day is then not the best environment.

I think I should really go in therapy. I've been looking around and there are therapists in my native language in my area. The waiting lists are very long and the price is expensive (not reimbursed here by insurance). But I'm not in an acute psychiatric crisis, so I can wait and just write my acute frustrations somewhere on this forum.
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Old 07-05-2018, 11:52 AM   #13
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I go privately and am desperately hoping it'll help. If you want a supportive and non competitive speciality where being successful doesn't seem to be a thing you should choose my speciality.. ironically I'm a pdoc 😂��😂
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Old 07-05-2018, 01:02 PM   #14
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Irronically I showed my american eskimo dogs with a family where the husband wasva pdoc on disability because he coukdn't handle the stress here in the US. I never pushed to know more tgan he was willing to share because at the time I was in & out of mental hospitals with depression. No one is immune to having mental health issues.
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Old 07-05-2018, 02:30 PM   #15
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This is very fascinating! I do like the psychiatrists working in my hospital. They are very friendly people and good to work with. Also respectful to their patients. I also know a pdoc who changed speciality because of burnout. As eskielover already said, no one is immune to mental health issues.

Luckily I didn't choose surgery or internal medicine. The competition there is horrible. I don't see any happy people there.
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Old 07-13-2018, 05:30 PM   #16
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If we compare ourselves to anyone else....we are wasting our valuable time...and life...the only person I am in "competition" with is myself...meaning, I strive to be my best self. I used my life story (of overcoming and thriving) and won a scholarship; started school at age 60 and am a Sophomore at 71! I am a dancer, singer, author, poet, and Vietnam era veteran.
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Old 07-14-2018, 11:58 AM   #17
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Awesome nicoleflynn.

I fought to get my accounting/computer science degree by age 28 after getting my AA in music...now at 65, when I am totally done with my divorce, I am planning on going back to get my masters in a whole different area of study. We are never too old to learn & grow.....it is totally personal achievements.

I know a lady who finished her degree last year at age 81....our personal goals & achievements don't need to be compared to anyone.

When I was a computer engineer my performance needed to meet standards of accomplishing the design I was given but was allowed to accomplish it in the best way that worked for me as long as the end result worked. The plane testing the data link didn't crash into the ocean.....that was success.

My racquettball games with the guys I worked with every day at lunch.....my goal was to give them good competition so they wanted to play with a girl, not to compare myself. Striving to do my best gained me better ability & I was playing A players. I still didn't compare myself to them because it was all about doing my personal best to give them good competition.
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Old 07-23-2018, 05:55 AM   #18
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Default Re: Comparing myself to everyone

I am in same situation too. I compare myself to other people and it makes me angry about myself. I have to force myself to do better in life and in get better job.

I bounce around jobs so many times that I feel depressed
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Old 07-23-2018, 06:56 AM   #19
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Big mistake, you should never do that.
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Old 07-23-2018, 05:34 PM   #20
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Big mistake, you should never do that.
I know very well it's a mistake. Rationally it makes no sense. But in my head it's difficult to stop these thoughts.

Is it low self confidence? Low self esteem? Fear of being judged or rejected by others?

For me it has become a problem big enough that it affects my life and I'm seeking help for it.
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