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Old 11-30-2017, 06:16 PM   #41
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Default Re: The Self-Compassion Thread

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Originally Posted by Carmina View Post
The self affirmation stuff - it just isn't me
You don't have to.
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Old 12-01-2017, 01:52 AM   #42
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I know - but I do wish I could be more compassionate towards myself but it just jars with how I feel, it's hard to even hear when other people give me positive feedback, actually painful.
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Old 12-01-2017, 03:22 AM   #43
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Default Re: The Self-Compassion Thread

Hi Carmina, I can relate to that. It may be how you were raised, and of course culture (I am British too - we tend to down play). Growing up the worst we could do was 'boast' or be 'bigheaded' and while those are not nice things to do we can give ourselves compassion.

Take my work scenario, a customer was frustrated, she tore a strip off me and my attempts to rectify the situation did not work, so I fell silent and let her finish (that is actually what we are told to do).

I have underlying self esteem issues, it was almost automatic of me to self blame but I stood back and rationalised the situation. I had actually handled it quite well, and Starry is quite right she had a screaming toddler which is where her anger was likely coming from she couldn't shout at him but she could at me.

It's kind of reframing, and although that aggression directed at me made me feel sick to my stomach I am not self blaming but seeing the whole situation as it was and being compassionate to myself.

We can change the way we think and for me it is a process, I slip up sometimes, but the upward trend is positive and posting here helps solidify that.

Kristen Neff has some helpful videos if you care to Google them.
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Old 12-01-2017, 08:22 AM   #44
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Default Re: The Self-Compassion Thread

Well said Prefab. (((((Carmina))))) Being compassionate towards yourself is a process. It takes time, and practice. Everyone can do it though. Even if just something small. You may not believe yourself, many times at first. You're worth it though.

As I'm writing this I'm realizing there is something I'm not being compassionate with myself about. Self compassion, can be hard. Especially when one's default is to be self-critical. And to believe that criticism. I will keep trying. Some things are harder than others.

Prefab, thanks for bringing up the Kristin Neff videos for Carmina. She also has a website with guided meditations, self compassion exercises, and tips on how to be more self compassionate. http://self-compassion.org/category/...ses/#exercises
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Old 01-07-2018, 02:16 PM   #45
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Remember that girl that had affirmations? Like this. I love what she did to herself as a young'un. I wonder if she had more and more "fits" like that. She just loved everything around her, and I believe that she has had a perfect life ever since she screamed those things.

It's weird that I say this in self compassion thread, but this girl had personal affirmations. I believe that she had that much good energy around her that she made her life perfect with affirmations, who cares? If I could have written her life, I would have said that she beat me to the punch.
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Old 01-07-2018, 05:39 PM   #46
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Hey TwistyPringle. I remember seeing that video before. That girl is so cute and a trip!
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Old 01-07-2018, 05:41 PM   #47
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I'm reading Wired To Connect right now. I read a lot of it while snowed in yesterday. I really like it and think its very well written. Its a book about connecting more, and in better / more helpful ways, and also has quizzes so you can learn about yourself. I'm only halfway through. But so far, I like it a lot and think other people here would, too. My only gripe, is that the cover has pink on it, and looks designed to be for more women than men. This is stuff that is really good for men to know too, and the info inside is geared, it seems to me, to both women AND men.

Last edited by starrysky; 01-07-2018 at 06:31 PM..
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Old 01-09-2018, 03:06 PM   #48
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I stuck to everything I said I was going to do today. It felt good to be around people.
I really tried to day to keep up with chores, distract with good activities and get out...
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Old 01-09-2018, 08:39 PM   #49
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I really tried to day to keep up with chores, distract with good activities and get out...
Awesome
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Old 01-17-2018, 11:43 AM   #50
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I think saying "no" is a beautiful thing. Empowering as all hell.
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