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Unread 08-30-2017, 02:59 PM   #1
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Default My girlfriend is always sick!

Hello. I'm new here. My girlfriend is 53 and has been sick or in pain for the last 2-3 years. The symptoms move around a lot, 1 day her knees hurt from arthritis, to the point where she barely walks from the bed to the couch. After 2-3 days of that her back hurts instead. Couple days later she has migraines. Then shes constipated and has cramps. In a week, she might have 1 day she can be up and around, but maybe not. She had outpatient surgery on her right knee last year and as she lay on the couch the next day she remarked that it hadn't felt this good in years, but her other knee hurt now! I swear, as soon as one thing goes away, something else pops up. I never said anything, I felt selfish for thinking anything, until her teenage daughter said, "Notice how mom"s always sick? One thing cures, another thing appears." So it's not just me. And her daughter is really starting to resent it, she thinks her mom is faking it to keep her from going away to college. I think the symptoms are real, but possibly mentally caused. It's a real mess. What can I do? I'm trying to hold this family together.
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Unread 08-31-2017, 02:33 PM   #2
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Default Re: My girlfriend is always sick!

Hi, rufiki, and welcome to Psych Central! It's hard to say what's happening with her. Some people do take on the "sick role." I gather she takes to her bed when sick and doesn't get out. It could be she complains to get attention. Does she go to the doctor with her pains?

I've resorted to taking pain pills to keep up and going. I still hurt, but it's less. If I stayed in the house every time I hurt I'd never go anywhere. But I'm 62.

It is also possible that she's depressed. It can cause pain or make pain worse. Pain in itself can cause depression. I know that from experience. Could you get her to the doctor for an evaluation? If she won't go, then I'd think it's more likely to be a mental issue, but keep in mind that I'm not a mental-health professional.

What have you tried?
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Unread 08-31-2017, 04:05 PM   #3
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Default Re: My girlfriend is always sick!

Thanks for answering Travelinglady. She goes to the doctor often, and takes many pills prescribed by him/her (she's had both). So many pills she keeps a list in her purse to show doctors because she can't remember them all. She's been real nauseous for months now and throws up everything she eats, she's been to the hospital and they can't find anything wrong. They believe it's somatic? her mind is making her feel symptoms. I'm wondering if all the past pains, headaches, tiredness, etc could be somatic illnesses too?
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Unread 08-31-2017, 07:02 PM   #4
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Default Re: My girlfriend is always sick!

It's possible, but people do actually get physically sick. Could some of her symptoms be side effects of medications? Just a thought....Regardless, I hope she feels better soon.
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Unread 08-31-2017, 07:07 PM   #5
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Default Re: My girlfriend is always sick!

I read your other post about her being on the psych ward now, have they changed her meds? Too many meds can cause both psych and physical problems.
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Unread 08-31-2017, 09:12 PM   #6
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Default Re: My girlfriend is always sick!

Good advice in this post - I'll add that menopausal years are so, so difficult and could be complicating things for her.
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Unread 08-31-2017, 09:45 PM   #7
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Default Re: My girlfriend is always sick!

I was thinking about the possibility of menopausal symptoms, too. At 54, she could certainly be in that category, rufiki. It can certainly complicate health issues!
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Unread 09-01-2017, 01:20 PM   #8
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Default Re: My girlfriend is always sick!

Thank you all. I thought her menopause was over, though early on I thought it might have something to do with her bad moods. At 1st we kept her on all her meds, without success, so we tried only giving her the blood pressure, cholesterol , etc that she seemed to need. When she was admitted to the hospital, it was because she had stopped eating and her heart was irregular. While in there the hallucinations started, so she was transferred to the psych ward. I'm using the shotgun approach here, asking a lot of questions about different phases of her illness in case they're related. And because I really don't know where to ask this stuff.
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Unread 09-01-2017, 04:41 PM   #9
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Default Re: My girlfriend is always sick!

Oh, my. Well at least they can really check her out in the hospital and get her symptoms under control. Really late for hallucinations due to schizophrenia. Do the doc have thoughts why she is having them?
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Unread 09-01-2017, 07:14 PM   #10
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Default Re: My girlfriend is always sick!

Now that she's in the mental ward, it's in another hospital, they tell me that the doctors don't usually talk to the family. I speak to the floor nurse most nights and call the "social worker" there every couple days. They are helpful and tell me to have patience. Her physical symptoms seem to have stopped, but the hallucinations have pretty much taken over her mind. That's one reason I think her mind was maybe doing all of this. She eats some now and appears hungry. So now her problem is definitly her mind. Trying to work thru that, I'm new at this. That's why I ask so many questions.
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