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Old 01-19-2018, 05:01 PM   #1
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Default Problems with Staring

I have social anxiety and used to struggle to initiate conversations or even continue conversations others started with me. As most of you can relate, I wanted to be more normal so I started focusing on my problem areas.

One of the issues I had was struggling to make eye contact . I forced myself to start making eye contact with strangers and retail workers when I was out and about. At first it was difficult and I shied away from it but over time I got better.

Now I have a problem, eye contact doesn't bother me anymore but that means I end up making too much eye contact . I don't deliberately stare people down or anything but I have noticed during interviews the interviewer seems to always get uncomfortable towards the end of the interview. Its much worse with women than with men. Women tend to get creepy vibes from my focused looks.

The problem boils down to I don't know how to fix myself so that I don't stare or come off as weird for looking into people's eyes too much. I never aimed to make people uncomfortable but that is exactly what I've done. Does anyone have any suggestions for making proper eye contact that doesn't come off as creepy or forced??
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Old 01-22-2018, 08:50 AM   #2
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Default Re: Problems with Staring

Quote:
Originally Posted by MooseintheReeds View Post
Does anyone have any suggestions for making proper eye contact that doesn't come off as creepy or forced??
Hi. Maybe when you feel you've held the eye contact for long enough, just make yourself stop and look away, thinking about something else. And also if making the eye contact itself is no longer an issue then try to stop thinking about it too much and perhaps you'll automatically stop the prolonged eye contact as well. All the best with that.
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Old 01-22-2018, 04:30 PM   #3
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Default Re: Problems with Staring

If you're talking to someone I find it easier to look away if i nod at something they say or i make a certain to gesture to something
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Old 01-22-2018, 08:44 PM   #4
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Default Re: Problems with Staring

I found this link to The Secrets to Making Non-Awkward Eye Contact which helped somewhat.

I took ya'lls advice and also softened my gaze. I would go into my head when the interviewer was talking instead of focusing on the fact that I was staring someone in the eyes and that seemed to help.
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Medications:
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Lexapro 20mg (no longer working)
Zyprexa 10 mg (extreme weight gain)
Lamotrigine 50mg (no longer working)


"I do not think much of a man who is not wiser today than he was yesterday." - Lincoln

"My past does not define me, it has enabled me to learn and grow into what I want to be tomorrow." -UNKN
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