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Old 04-24-2017, 02:39 PM #11
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Default Re: Thank You

Sorry to hear that, seems like just prolonging the agony! My T has suspected that I may be on the ASD spectrum too, coincidentally, and works with a few kids with it, I believe. Fingers crossed he is understanding, and fingers crossed your daughter can see him soon, and start to build that relationship.

Having days where you feel like you can't even get up, let alone leave the house is horrible, really horrible. I am lucky in some respects that I live alone for a lot of the time so can do what I want/need, though sometimes that isn't a good thing!
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Old 05-02-2017, 08:03 AM #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lavender. View Post
Yeah I am going with her, That is another thing she won't go out on her own, I think she has a big fear that something is going to happen to her. If she goes in the appointment alone then she still won't talk, We have tried it before and she won't talk. It is difficult for her. I am starting to think there is something else wrong with her. She is 19 and is so scared of almost everything. To me it feels like the house is a very safe place for her. I am truly worried.
I can see the relationship between ASD and selective mutism. A person with ASD struggles with the unpredictable nature of people. It tends to be very stressful. Remaining quiet helps keep a social interaction under more control. It provides a sense of safety and predictability. Other things such as trauma, e.g., bullying, and phobias can also contribute.
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Old 10-08-2017, 06:54 PM #13
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Hi, Lavender. I am a 57 year old woman, and I suffer from the same symptoms as your daughter. I used to be (before the depression, anxiety, sleep disorder and also a bad case of hypothyroidism, which has its own nasty corollaries) an outgoing, social person, especially gifted at selling high end jewelry. I was outdoorsy, loved to travel (alone often!), and excelled at making friends.

Now, I am isolated almost all of the time. I am married, but never had any children---I met my husband fairly late in life. He is generally kind, but very much a workaholic and not good at expressing or dealing with emotions. He is remarkably un-affectionate, and that really doesn't help.

I can understand where your daughter is coming from, so well. A gentle touch is what is needed. Lots of reminders of how much she is loved and supported by you makes an awful lot of difference.

I, too, become physically ill (abdominal pain, headaches, and surprisingly powerful lower back pain have all been experienced) when I have social interactions to attend. On those occasions, wild horses could not get me out of the house! I have access to a wonderful, gentle therapist; but going to spend sessions with her has become so painful, I can no longer bring myself to go.

(YES, I understand it is a resource I should not squander---and yes, this causes me anxiety, as well, over the guilt I feel.)

Being trapped in this vicious cycle is, to me, often worse than the depression itself.

No, I do not have one single explanation for its arrival in my life. I think of it as I think of my depression: brain chemistry running a little amuck. There is no external, single cause.

Yes, it all makes me very lonely at times, but I am comfortable and safe in my home, and for now, that's how it has to be for me. (Fortunately, in my case, I have an artistic side, and do often naturally enjoy lots of time to myself, in peace and quiet. So it's perhaps not as crippling a situation for me as it might seem on the surface.)

I have taken baby steps to help myself, and my medication does a bit for me in that way. The most help I have gotten is talking with others about this, and realizing I am not alone. An 8-week CBT course was also useful to me, but came with its own share of difficulties. Some of the techniques I learned in it were very helpful, however, and do still help me now a few years on.

There is supposed to be an Anxiety Workbook (famous because of its blue cover, and well-received by therapists) which has helped a great many people. That may be a place to start.

I wish I could be more help. But I wanted to reach out to let you know that it happens to very lovely people...it is no fault of yours or hers...and that, little by little, her pain and confusion can be greatly lessened, and even possibly cured.

Lots of people deal with this. There is hope, especially as she is so much younger than me, and not yet soured or cynical about some things.

Wishing you both all the best.
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