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Unread 03-20-2017, 03:31 AM   #1
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I have always been someone that dreams a lot so it's never really bothered me unless they are nightmares which is pretty common during times of stress. But in the last few days my dreams have been about my mother or my sister and it is beginning to really bother me because I'm actually trying to get to a point where I don't constantly worry about them. It's never the same dream and it's not disturbing or anything but just being around my family makes me quite uncomfortable because I'm not allowed to be myself and for some reason now that I've taken a stand in reality my dreams seem to keep throwing me back into times with them.

One of the dreams was me freaking out about not being able to get to my sister because I was late and not finding any way to tell her and also a weird momentary fear of heights when i suddenly realise I'm at the edge of some cliff and a friend's fooling around. But all I'm thinking about is my sister.

Just this morning it was this really really long and exhausting bike ride with my mum...She was on a bicycle and me on a bike...Which is ridiculous because I'm terrified of riding bikes and obviously I was in my dream too but I was riding it anyway! All I wanted was for it to end and instead it was just a very long journey with some weird views on the way...Broken down school bus, weird athletic mum who runs behind her tiny daughter on scooter, suddenly jumps in and keep riding. I don't even know :/ I think the funniest thing was me realising I have no clue how to stop a bike and when we did get to some destination I pretty much skid right into the building and tried to jump off the bike. It's funny now...I was freaking out then. Sigh.

Is this me missing them? Is this me subconsciously worrying about them because consciously I'm trying to take care of​ only myself?

Does anyone think there might be a way for me to use these dreams and try to stop feeling so uncomfortable when they are around? Like I've read " Focus on the behaviour not the person"....Do you think I could find a way to do something mindfully during my dreams?

Edit: Also, I have to mention that these are not dreams during my deep sleep. I wake up a lot after say 3-4 hours of sleep and then there's an hour or two with me trying to get more rest...This is when I have these dreams, so I do wake up a lot between them but I'm just desperately trying to get some sleep.
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Unread 03-20-2017, 02:25 PM   #2
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These are anxiety caused dreams, where you do not feel in full control.
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Unread 03-20-2017, 03:21 PM   #3
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Hello woe-be-gone: Well I'm not knowledgeable with regard to dreams. So I can't interpret these for you. But, having read your introductory post, I would have to say that this may all simply be material caused by the anxiety you have surrounding your relationship with your parents. From what you wrote, it sounds as though you're having some difficulty sleeping as well; & this could also be related to anxiety I would suppose.

I don't know anything about techniques for using dreams to change how one feels in uncomfortable situations. I know there is supposedly something referred to as "lucid dreaming". But I don't know anything about how it works. I'd have to admit I don't set a whole lot of store by dreams. To me they're just the brain doing what it does without the benefit of the control we exert when we're conscious. Perhaps some other members, here on PC, will have some suggestions regarding how you might be able to work with these dreams. I wish you well...
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Unread 03-21-2017, 02:41 AM   #4
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Thank you both! You guys are certainly right about the anxiety. It seems to be anxiety that wakes me up and I probably make it worse by trying even harder to sleep more. Waking today after another odd, uncomfortable dream...I actually focused on how I was feeling rather than recollecting the dream and I realised I am waking up with a tightness in my chest that I oddly feel in my stomach. All these days I thought I was waking up really hungry and always made sure I was eating a big breakfast. But yesterday I had noticed the food hadn't made the discomfort in my stomach go away.

I'm glad my therapist appointment is today! I will ask her if there are any tricks to do in the morning to ease anxiety caused by dreams (oddly caused by anxiety itself). What a spiral!
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Unread 03-21-2017, 11:16 AM   #5
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Hi,
The sometimes explicit and often accepted and almost imperceptible inferiority extant in muslim communitities and families bears hevily on any muslem woman who intends to be independent causes psychological stress.
Your dreams are caused by pangs of consciousness about choosing your own way.
The problem is exceptionally acute when boyfriends and possible marriage is concerned.
Regarding your dreams, they are normal. Perhaps you sleep nearer to the waking level of conscoiusness? We all have a longer period of sleep at the start and progresssively shorter ones as the night goes on.
Your subconscious uses your concern for your sister as waking element.
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Unread 03-21-2017, 11:48 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gojamadar View Post
Hi,
The sometimes explicit and often accepted and almost imperceptible inferiority extant in muslim communitities and families bears hevily on any muslem woman who intends to be independent causes psychological stress.
Your dreams are caused by pangs of consciousness about choosing your own way.
The problem is exceptionally acute when boyfriends and possible marriage is concerned.
Regarding your dreams, they are normal. Perhaps you sleep nearer to the waking level of conscoiusness? We all have a longer period of sleep at the start and progresssively shorter ones as the night goes on.
Your subconscious uses your concern for your sister as waking element.
Wow...Thank you so much. I feel like you truly understand what I'm going through. It feels good to know someone understands.

That's interesting about the sleep. I didn't get time at my appointment today to discuss my sleep and anxiety because I have so much else going on, but I've got one soon. Will discuss with her.
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