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Old 08-31-2018, 04:40 AM   #1
randomer123
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I'm so sick of not being allowed to sleep. I'm stuck underneath a bunch of idiots that stay up all night screaming and smashing things. They usually dont go quiet until around 2-4 (if they ever do), so I am severly sleep deprived, half brain dead, slow, cant concentrate, get up late and everything gets messed up. I have got used to being in a lethargic sleep deprived state and I haven't known any different for a few years now. Can't remember whats its like to be able to sleep properly at proper times and actually wake up refreshed; that would have been back when I was at my parents house.

Everything feels so pointless because I can't do anything. People keep saying I look like I'm going to cry and keep asking whats wrong. Or telling me to wake up, and the worst, thinking I deliberatley stayed up all night drinking (I don't drink at all). I find this very insulting, since I have no control over this! I DO NOT choose to stay up, I never would, because I know from the past that I feel MUCH better when I go to bed early and get up early, and feel terrible when I go to bed late and get up late. Therefore I would never choose the lateness.

Also now, everytime I go out anywhere (which is very very rare and only when I need to) I am totally exhausted when I come back. Even if I'm just out for 2 or 3 hours at a shop or something. This never used to happen before. But now after being out, I can't really do much for the rest of the day. This is made worse if I haven't been allowed to sleep the night before and I'm even more lethergic to start with. Or if I have to stay up the night after.

I was lucky the night before, that I was allowed to sleep earlier and get up earlier to go out yesterday. Was out 5 hours, too tired to do anything the rest of the day. Was hoping I could go to bed early and try to recover. NOPE! NOT allowed. They were out (at the pub I assume) and came back drunk at 10 while I was getting ready for bed, screaming and arguing outside then went inside and they made noise until 1am. I had to stay up but I couldn't really do much. Couldn't read stuff online because the screen hurt my eyes, couldn't read because I couldn't focus on the words, couldn't do anything physical because I had no energy, couldn't even write in journal because my hands/arms were aching and I couldn't grip the pen. So I just stared into space, day dreaming and I have a white noise mp3 I play loud in my ears to block out most of their noise (it doesn't block out all of it though).

And so obviously I woke up late this morning, still feeling terrible, brain pulsating etc, and far too late for the things I needed to do. And I have messed up further than I ever thought I would (I can't go into the details).

I know this is my problem because:
1) I am faulty, I need complete quiet to sleep, and theres no chance of that here
2) Nobody else goes to bed before midnight, its perfectly normal to stay until 1am (or after). I am the one that's abnormal
3) They are entitled to their "fun" more than I am entitled to my sleep/health

I know I shouldn't be complaining. This is how it should be. I don't know why I do complain, but I do. This isn't just about sleep because it effects everything else (in a negative way). I am being completely controlled by a bunch of drunks.

Please don't tell me to move or anything, that is not an option, ever. And nothing else works, I've tried everything.
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Old 08-31-2018, 05:06 PM   #2
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Why can you not move out???
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Old 08-31-2018, 07:45 PM   #3
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Old 09-01-2018, 05:37 AM   #4
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Why can you not move out???
Because there is nowhere to move to, and I'm unemployed so don't have much money.
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Old 09-01-2018, 11:13 AM   #5
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It's not normal at all for them to stay up that late, shouting and arguing. I'm so sorry you're being subjected to that. You are absolutely more entitled to your health and sleep than they are their noise. This situation is messed up and wrong. There's no need to blame yourself!
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Old 09-02-2018, 03:08 AM   #6
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It's not normal at all for them to stay up that late, shouting and arguing. I'm so sorry you're being subjected to that. You are absolutely more entitled to your health and sleep than they are their noise. This situation is messed up and wrong. There's no need to blame yourself!
Thanks. I suppose this is just how this world works then.

Its seems most people around here don't sleep through the night. Upstairs, they seem to sleep for a few hours here and there through the day, I assume that's what they are doing when it's quiet, like now.
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Old 09-02-2018, 04:19 AM   #7
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If it's quiet now and you are awake, why not be loud?
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Old 10-25-2018, 07:19 AM   #8
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You are not faulty.

They are not entitled to make noise at your expense.
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Old 10-25-2018, 09:21 AM   #9
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You are not faulty.

They are not entitled to make noise at your expense.
They are entitled to their "fun".
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Old 10-25-2018, 10:48 AM   #10
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Really sorry to hear this. You don't deserve to go through all of this. Perhaps it won't help much, or you've already tried, but have you asked them if they can be quiet at night since you're trying to sleep?
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