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Unread 09-10-2017, 02:31 PM   #1
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Unhappy I wish that I was asexual.

I'm sorry if I offend anybody with this post, but the more that I think about things, the more that I wish that I was asexual.

I wish that I could be friends with females or have an emotional bond with one without sex getting in the way. I wish that I could approach a woman and talk to her without being nervous because she's attractive. I wish that I didn't have to worry about appearing to be strong, confident, and well off around women to attract them or fear rejection. I wish that I didn't get turned on every time I see an attractive female showing a lot of skin or wearing a sexy outfit.

I wish that I could interact with women the same way that I do men. I wish that I could be friends with an attractive female who is in a relationship without being turned on and wanting to have sex with her when I become closer to her. I wish that I could just get a hug or a touch from a woman sometime without worrying about appearing "weak" or "creepy" to her. I wish that I could be loved in a similar matter to how a mother loves a child or a sister loves a brother; nurturing without physical attraction.

Sex makes life complicated. Talking to women with sexual attraction thrown into the mix is too hard for me right now. I wish that I didn't enjoy sex, because it's not like I want children anyways.

Anybody else feel this way?
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Unread 09-10-2017, 09:28 PM   #2
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Default Re: I wish that I was asexual.

Darkness, need I remind you that you and I get along just fine and I'm a female?
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Unread 09-10-2017, 09:35 PM   #3
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Default Re: I wish that I was asexual.

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Originally Posted by Artchic528 View Post
Darkness, need I remind you that you and I get along just fine and I'm a female?
I know. It's not you.

I guess I just crave a connection with a female in person, yet don't have the time to commit to people because of how freaking busy that I am.

IDK what is wrong with me anymore...
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Unread 09-11-2017, 12:37 AM   #4
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Default Re: I wish that I was asexual.

I have a ton of male friends that I have never had sex with. I feel comfortable around males, and I prefer when it is non-sexual. I grew up with 2 brothers and I have 2 sons.

When I date, I want one male, and I never cheat. But I like having platonic male friends.

We are out there. You just have to find us.
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Unread 09-11-2017, 12:45 AM   #5
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Default Re: I wish that I was asexual.

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Originally Posted by winter loneliness View Post
I have a ton of male friends that I have never had sex with. I feel comfortable around males, and I prefer when it is non-sexual. I grew up with 2 brothers and I have 2 sons.

When I date, I want one male, and I never cheat. But I like having platonic male friends.

We are out there. You just have to find us.
That's the thing though; if I find a female even remotely physically attractive, at some point, I want to either have sex with her or get closer to her on an emotional level. I have trouble being "friends" with most women.

There are exceptions, however, which seems to be the case with many female friends that I meet online. In person though, I am insecure around women and have trouble befriending them.

I guess that I'm just going to have to become better at interacting with women then. I honestly have never had an ample chance to learn about this side of me due to my upbringing so I find the whole sex and talking to women thing rather confusing most of the time.
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Unread 09-11-2017, 01:32 AM   #6
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Default Re: I wish that I was asexual.

I think practicing your friendship skills on here is a good idea. Perhaps see if you can emotionally interact. I'll be your friend.
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Unread 09-13-2017, 11:06 PM   #7
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Default Re: I wish that I was asexual.

I think a lot of men grow up finding it difficult being "friends" with women, because our society has actively forbidden them from doing just that. Think about it. If a little boy becomes friends with a little girl and plays with her, all the adults around them either push a "romance" narrative on it ("Ohhh, are you girlfriends and boyfriends? Are you in love?") or they forbid it because boys shouldn't play with girls; they should be manly and play with trucks and stuff. They encourage ideas that girls have "cooties" and boys and girls can't hang out, because it might be sexual or romantic.

As a result, boys never learn that girls are human beings too. Boys never learn how similar girls are to them. They are taught all their lives to view girls as "other", as "different species", and usually only in a highly sexualised and objectified context, which is highly misogynistic and in fact hurts both in the end.

Have you considered finding a female friend who has a lot of common interests with you, even if you don't find her attractive? When you interact with women, try finding out what you have in common, rather than focusing on how different you are. All I can say, other than that, is to keep putting yourself out there and keep working on it. The more you try something, the less novel and unusual it is, and it becomes more easy and comfortable for you. It also helps to come in with a positive mindset. I know that's easier said than done, but surround yourself with positive, self-loving messages and repeat them to yourself often. Like I said, it's uncomfortable at first, but gets easier the more you do it. As a woman, I also have social anxiety and I'm learning to overcome past resentments of all people in general, because of how all the kids made fun of me in school as a kid, both girls and boys. I hope this helps.
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