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Unread 08-08-2017, 02:53 PM   #1
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Default Fraysexual?

So my husband and I sat down and talked about why he is much less interested in sex and almost cringes away when I try to initiate it and it seems like it is a reluctant chore for him. He said that when he was growing up and first having sexual experiences they were always with what ever easy girl would have him. Not experiences with girlfriend's or women he had any feelings for. And he said he now has an issue where sex and love are completely separate things for him and because he loves me he doesn't want to have sex with me. He really wanted me when we first started seeing each other and as his feelings for me grew his sexual motivation waned. He said he still finds me beautiful and attractive but once it gets to the us actually having sex part he feels not interested. Is there anyway to fix this? He said it is an issue he had prior to me and he thinks he is broken and ****ed up. I feel completely devastated and sexual intimacy and feeling desired by my husband is hugely important to me. Any comments or advice would be appreciate.
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Unread 08-08-2017, 03:49 PM   #2
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Hello Concerned: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral! I hope you find whatever amount of time you spend here to be of benefit.

As far as your husband's situation is concerned, I don't know as there is a lot I can offer with regard to this. This simply sounds like something your husband needs to address in therapy. And later on perhaps some couples counseling for the two of you might be of benefit as well since, while it is primarily his problem, it is having a significant impact on your relationship as well. Perhaps other members will have other suggestions to offer. I wish you well...
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Unread 08-08-2017, 06:20 PM   #3
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Unhappy Re: Fraysexual?

We have been in couples counseling for 2 years. It has been immensely helpful and we are very happy in all other ways but this has come up and our counselor thinks he should find an individual therapist or couples sex therapy. I guess I just wonder if there is anything I can do. I feel really helpless. And I am def internalizing this as a direct rejection of me.





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Originally Posted by Skeezyks View Post
Hello Concerned: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral! I hope you find whatever amount of time you spend here to be of benefit.

As far as your husband's situation is concerned, I don't know as there is a lot I can offer with regard to this. This simply sounds like something your husband needs to address in therapy. And later on perhaps some couples counseling for the two of you might be of benefit as well since, while it is primarily his problem, it is having a significant impact on your relationship as well. Perhaps other members will have other suggestions to offer. I wish you well...
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