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Unread 07-11-2017, 10:58 PM   #21
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Default Re: Annnnnd... maybe not

Quote:
Originally Posted by tryingtobeconstruct View Post
We ended up having another conversation about my career, and she a little bit changed her mind. She might still want to go out.

It might be reasonable for me to think "ok, but now I don't want to go out with her". I don't know yet if that's how I feel. Some considerations.
  • She was just being honest about what she wants in a date. We call have our own preferences, many of which don't seem very enlightened if you have to say them out loud.
  • Money does count, and women in our society tend to view boyfriends as potential providers or at least financial partners.
  • Nobody's perfect, and I could do worse than be with someone who is honest.
  • I still kinda like her.
Did she explain why she wouldn't date a dishwasher? Did she actually say it?
You are right that women and men look for financial partners but that's true for serious relationship and marriage. I don't think it matters if it's just casual. Not sure what you are looking for
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Unread 07-12-2017, 04:19 AM   #22
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Default Re: Annnnnd... maybe not

Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966 View Post
Did she explain why she wouldn't date a dishwasher? Did she actually say it?
You are right that women and men look for financial partners but that's true for serious relationship and marriage. I don't think it matters if it's just casual. Not sure what you are looking for
She's very career oriented and didn't feel like at my age I should be working a minimum wage job. Again, it sounds shallow, but we all have our dating preferences.

I agree that for a casual relationship it shouldn't matter, but I'm learning that some women want to consider the long term anyway.

At this point it's wait-and-see. The ball's in her court. I doubt I'll ever hear from her again.
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Unread 07-12-2017, 01:15 PM   #23
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Default Re: What do women want online???

I have been using a UK Dating site since February this year & had many hits & misses while looking for a new partner. I am a widow and over 60yrs, but still active. The site I use also has a Diary section and men are always asking this question, so I typed up and posted what I want from a man on a dating site.

I hope this helps:




What we want from a man?

1. He has time for you
The first and most concrete sign that a guy is interested in developing a relationship with you is that he will make time for you even if his life is really busy. He will respond quickly to emails, calls and texts (within 24 hours) and will initiate conversations and dates to meet up.
A man is ready for a relationship when the time he invests in pursuing it is consistent and doesnít change after the relationship has reached the bedroom. Often men are very attentive when they first meet a woman they are attracted to but their interest begins to wane once they have the prize and they start to look for the next pretty face.
If he wonít give you his time, donít waste any more of yours on him.

2. He opens up to you
Notoriously men are a lot less open with their emotions than women are and are generally more reserved when talking about their feelings, past relationships and struggles they have in their life. A man is ready for a relationship when he has reached a level of emotional maturity where he understands the importance of developing intimacy through communication he wants to invite you into his inner world and isnít afraid that you will judge him as weak if he lets you know that sometimes he hurts. One of the most intimate times for a man is after s*x if he wants to cuddle up and talk then he is really into you rather than just casually dating you.
Another important aspect of this is when a man wants to draw you into his life showing you where he lives and introducing you to his family and friends all of this indicates that he is interested in developing a deepening relationship and making a commitment rather than keeping it casual.

3. He is affectionate as well as s*xual
For men, wanting to have s*x with a woman is not a sure sign of wanting to have a relationship with her. Women often mistake physical passion as a sign of deepening emotional intimacy it isnít. Even if your s*x life is off the scale, if only one part of a manís anatomy is interested there is no guarantee the rest will follow. Showing affection outside of the bedroom, in ways that donít always lead to s*x hugging, holding hands, kissing etc gives a much stronger indication that he is ready for a relationship.

4. His friends are primarily people who are in relationships
Men will usually engage with people whose values they share so if their closest friends are people who are in steady, committed relationships it is a good indication that he is ready for that too. If however he is still hanging out with his mates, acting irresponsibly, playing the field and living an active bachelor lifestyle he may not be ready to give it up yet. Most men will have a combination of the two but over time you will see where his strongest attachments are and whose values he shares. Avoid getting deeply involved with someone who you think has the potential to calm down and engage in a committed relationship you need to accept someone as they are now rather than what you think they could be if you push them in the right direction.

5. He is over past relationships
This is the biggest indication that a man is ready for a new relationship he is not bitter or cynical about women, commitment or relationships. He can look at what happened realistically and see where he made mistakes rather than placing the blame for the failure of past relationships solely at the door of his exes his mother or women in general. He will give you his attention and get to know you as an individual and explore the relationship between you without prejudice.
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Unread 07-12-2017, 08:01 PM   #24
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Default Re: Annnnnd... another failure

Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966 View Post
Try eharmony. .

One problem I had with that was I found a lot of the guys didn't know themselves well. So you would think you had X and he thinks he is X... but isn't really. Also I include myself in not knowing myself well. So I would often get a mis match.
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Unread 07-17-2017, 03:49 PM   #25
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Default Re: What do women want online???

Quote:
Originally Posted by kipper-bang View Post
What we want from a man?

1. He has time for you
The first and most concrete sign that a guy is interested in developing a relationship with you is that he will make time for you even if his life is really busy. He will respond quickly to emails, calls and texts (within 24 hours) and will initiate conversations and dates to meet up.
A man is ready for a relationship when the time he invests in pursuing it is consistent and doesnít change after the relationship has reached the bedroom. Often men are very attentive when they first meet a woman they are attracted to but their interest begins to wane once they have the prize and they start to look for the next pretty face.
If he wonít give you his time, donít waste any more of yours on him.

2. He opens up to you
Notoriously men are a lot less open with their emotions than women are and are generally more reserved when talking about their feelings, past relationships and struggles they have in their life. A man is ready for a relationship when he has reached a level of emotional maturity where he understands the importance of developing intimacy through communication he wants to invite you into his inner world and isnít afraid that you will judge him as weak if he lets you know that sometimes he hurts. One of the most intimate times for a man is after s*x if he wants to cuddle up and talk then he is really into you rather than just casually dating you.
Another important aspect of this is when a man wants to draw you into his life showing you where he lives and introducing you to his family and friends all of this indicates that he is interested in developing a deepening relationship and making a commitment rather than keeping it casual.

3. He is affectionate as well as s*xual
For men, wanting to have s*x with a woman is not a sure sign of wanting to have a relationship with her. Women often mistake physical passion as a sign of deepening emotional intimacy it isnít. Even if your s*x life is off the scale, if only one part of a manís anatomy is interested there is no guarantee the rest will follow. Showing affection outside of the bedroom, in ways that donít always lead to s*x hugging, holding hands, kissing etc gives a much stronger indication that he is ready for a relationship.

4. His friends are primarily people who are in relationships
Men will usually engage with people whose values they share so if their closest friends are people who are in steady, committed relationships it is a good indication that he is ready for that too. If however he is still hanging out with his mates, acting irresponsibly, playing the field and living an active bachelor lifestyle he may not be ready to give it up yet. Most men will have a combination of the two but over time you will see where his strongest attachments are and whose values he shares. Avoid getting deeply involved with someone who you think has the potential to calm down and engage in a committed relationship you need to accept someone as they are now rather than what you think they could be if you push them in the right direction.

5. He is over past relationships
This is the biggest indication that a man is ready for a new relationship he is not bitter or cynical about women, commitment or relationships. He can look at what happened realistically and see where he made mistakes rather than placing the blame for the failure of past relationships solely at the door of his exes his mother or women in general. He will give you his attention and get to know you as an individual and explore the relationship between you without prejudice.
OK, I'm all of that. Where are the women who want to date me?
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Unread 07-17-2017, 05:04 PM   #26
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Default Re: What do women want online???

Hi,

I left an answer on your new post. Don't give up!!
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Unread 07-17-2017, 06:32 PM   #27
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Default Re: What do women want online???

Quote:
Originally Posted by tryingtobeconstruct View Post
OK, I'm all of that. Where are the women who want to date me?
You should post that on your profile. The whole thing...
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Unread 07-19-2017, 12:06 PM   #28
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Default Re: Annnnnd... maybe not

Quote:
Originally Posted by tryingtobeconstruct View Post
She's very career oriented and didn't feel like at my age I should be working a minimum wage job. Again, it sounds shallow, but we all have our dating preferences.

I agree that for a casual relationship it shouldn't matter, but I'm learning that some women want to consider the long term anyway.

At this point it's wait-and-see. The ball's in her court. I doubt I'll ever hear from her again.
I don't think it's shallow. Just realistic. If I took on a man who makes minimum wages, I'd have to support him and significantly alter my life style (no travel no cultural events that cost money etc). I wouldn't be willing to make such sacrifice so I can have a man.

Most certainly I'd support/assist people in need and change mylife style for people in my family like my parents and my kid and my brother or if my husband becomes incapacitated etc of course I'll support them but it's different, they are my family, not a stranger I deliberately looked for.

Now if you look for a woman who also makes very little, then it's fair as neither one of you will have to make much change in life style or support one another. So imho it's not very fair to look for professional career oriented women, they most likely will say no.
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Unread 07-19-2017, 09:34 PM   #29
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Default Re: What do women want online???

Why does this conversation keep circling around money????

And why are there so many cookie cutter rules for the right mate?

Geez, live a bit.
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Unread 07-20-2017, 01:48 AM   #30
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Default Re: What do women want online???

As a woman I can honestly say that all I want is honest and sincere interest from a guy. Not just sexual interest, mind you, but interest in something more along the lines of actual romance and such.

However, that sort of thing is honestly dead now.
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