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Old 11-13-2018, 10:29 AM   #1
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So I am curious about some issues I had when I was married and some issues I know will arise once I am sexually active again. When I first starting having sex I was really cautious about semen. I would immediately have to clean up my theory was that if it leaked out my underwear onto something I would recontaminate mys3lf or someone else. Its the same with my body fluids as well. I hate semen though. Find it absolutely disgusting. When I was married I couldnt even be touched down there then somewhere else because I would feel contaminated all over my body. It makes sex difficult and not worth it. Anyway is this normal?
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Old 11-13-2018, 11:06 AM   #2
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Yeah, I think it could create some problems during sex. Have you talked to a doctor about this?
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Old 11-13-2018, 11:39 AM   #3
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I have talked to my therapist about it.
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Old 11-13-2018, 12:04 PM   #4
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What did he say to you?
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Old 11-13-2018, 12:38 PM   #5
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She said that it was likely from SA I dont remember but I do have Ocd so idk
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Old 11-17-2018, 01:01 AM   #6
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I'd by lying if I said it was. Semen is no different than any other bodily fluid, and should be treated as such...as with most bodily fluids, semen is a healthy and natural bodily fluid and is only "unhealthy" if you are sick, have an STD, or have an infection.

I was the same way with germs and it took over my life for many years. Taking out the trash was overwhelming. I had to give away a pet snake because I had to thoroughly "decontaminate" if I touched it. The only way I got over it was to physically touch the objects I assumed were germy and force myself to go as long as I could without washing my hands, and eventually I'd touch my face and put germy hands in my mouth just to say I could. After about 2-3 years, I was "back to normal".

I would say in your case, you'll have to do the same. I'd purposefully ejaculate into your hand so you could hold it, feel it, study it, play with it in your hand...for acceptance. I think in the beginning stages, just keeping it in your hand as long as you can is a good start, but I think eventually you should ejaculate and eat your semen...It's not the most pleasant taste, but most sexually active women swallow, and as a man, you're doing this to get over a fear, and to get over fear is empowerment.

EDIT: It sounds like the most bizarre way to get over your fear, but if you want to get over it, you have to physically face it.
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Old 11-17-2018, 05:25 PM   #7
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Originally Posted by LiteraryLark View Post
I'd by lying if I said it was. Semen is no different than any other bodily fluid, and should be treated as such...as with most bodily fluids, semen is a healthy and natural bodily fluid and is only "unhealthy" if you are sick, have an STD, or have an infection.

I was the same way with germs and it took over my life for many years. Taking out the trash was overwhelming. I had to give away a pet snake because I had to thoroughly "decontaminate" if I touched it. The only way I got over it was to physically touch the objects I assumed were germy and force myself to go as long as I could without washing my hands, and eventually I'd touch my face and put germy hands in my mouth just to say I could. After about 2-3 years, I was "back to normal".

I would say in your case, you'll have to do the same. I'd purposefully ejaculate into your hand so you could hold it, feel it, study it, play with it in your hand...for acceptance. I think in the beginning stages, just keeping it in your hand as long as you can is a good start, but I think eventually you should ejaculate and eat your semen...It's not the most pleasant taste, but most sexually active women swallow, and as a man, you're doing this to get over a fear, and to get over fear is empowerment.

EDIT: It sounds like the most bizarre way to get over your fear, but if you want to get over it, you have to physically face it.
I am female.
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Old 11-17-2018, 06:43 PM   #8
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Hi Dnester,

My impression is that you feel the entire sexual experience as dirty or shameful in some way. Your body fluids, and especially the other person's body fluids, are very symbolic to you of this dirtiness or shamefulness. And given what we know about the spread of STDs, bodily fluids are what most often spread infections or viruses, but in your case it symbolizes the spread of the dirtiness and shame you are feeling towards sex and maybe towards your own sexuality.

My advice is to focus on understanding your feelings towards sex in general, and realize that your body fluid phobia may be distracting you from being aware of a bigger issue here.
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Old 11-18-2018, 04:48 PM   #9
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Hi Dnester,

My impression is that you feel the entire sexual experience as dirty or shameful in some way. Your body fluids, and especially the other person's body fluids, are very symbolic to you of this dirtiness or shamefulness. And given what we know about the spread of STDs, bodily fluids are what most often spread infections or viruses, but in your case it symbolizes the spread of the dirtiness and shame you are feeling towards sex and maybe towards your own sexuality.

My advice is to focus on understanding your feelings towards sex in general, and realize that your body fluid phobia may be distracting you from being aware of a bigger issue here.

Like what?
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Old 11-18-2018, 09:23 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dnester View Post
Like what?
We need to hear from you now. What about semen makes you feel dirty? When did this obsession start? Do you not use condoms during sex?
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