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Old 12-15-2012, 12:27 AM #1
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Confused What am I??

So legally I am a female. But I'm also very confused.
I am definitely a "Tomboy", as they say, but sometimes I wonder if I'm more boy than girl.
My family believes in clear gender lines (meaning girls wear dresses, boys wear pants...ladies stay home and mother, guys go out and work...). Anyway, I'd much rather get a job than stay at home my whole life, I love jeans, and I am a very adventurous person. I also think women are attractive. Does this mean I'm gay or something? Or does anyone have a clue what the matter is with me?

Thanks for any help anyone can give...
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Old 12-15-2012, 12:35 PM #2
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Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Why can't the computer eat what I type before I get to the end instead of when I'm finished. STUPID COMPUTER.


OK deep breath. Let me try this again. I am a big time tomboy. I love my cars, horses, chainsaws. I don't mind getting dirty. I love the smell of 2 cycle oil. I can out weld my husband, I can work on cars w/ the best of them. I used to help on the pit crew or a small time race track. I spent weekends tearing down and rebuilding motors. I took 5 years agricultural science and machinics plus wood shop in high school.

I am a stay at home mom. I've been married 18 years and have 3 kids. Being a tomboy is a great way to be married. I mow the grass, carry fire wood, keep the fluids checked in the vehichles. My H can send me to the hardware store and I can find what he needs or if I can't at least I don't get jerked around by the people trying to sell me something I don't need. My H can work on the car and I can find what ever tool and help him or check the gaps and points while he does something else. Being a stay at home mom doesn't mean staying cooked up in the house doing girly stuff all day.

As for my jeans, if someone took them away I think I might die. I wear dresses to church (blue jean ones) I wear pant suits also. I think I should wear dresses to church so I do. Blue jean one count to you know. I even wear my cowboy boots w/ my dress sometimes. God don't love me for my shoes.

As far as finding girls attractive, well thats ok. That doesn't make you gay. I can look at a woman an think wow is she beautiful. And think I wish I looked like that or I wish I had a butt like that. My H can recognize when a man is attractive or not so much. That doesn't make him gay. I think of it as recognizing what beauty God made. It doesn't matter what sex you are and they are. The question is sexually do you want to be w/ a female or male. I didn't look to see your age but I expect you are not as old as me, maybe quite young. Your sexual preference is hard to determine in this day and time where so much of the world is open to gay relationships. When I was a kid it was not so widely accepted so for the most part there was no question about sexual orientation. So are you attracted to males at all. That is the next question.
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Old 12-15-2012, 07:08 PM #3
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Default Re: What am I??

I agree. Being a tomboy, is still a female but prefering so called male activities. We are all different types of one gender. If we were all girly, girly, baking and knitting how dull would that be. No two females are alike, even in the same family. How many families with more than one daughter, where there is usually one or more tomboys. My sister has two girls 3 years apart in age, they couldn't differ more. The youngest my sister always said, is a boy without a w i l l y. She is so ungirly, never wears dresses and is just a typical tomboy. But there's no mistaking her gender.
We can appreciate our own gender, and admire our own sex, that doesn't make us gay. I for one love the female form, especially envying young pert breasts, but I am not gay or bi. I have no desire to be with a woman, just because I can appreciate beauty in the female form.
Being able to do all those things the previous poster can is a blessing and a credit to her upbringing and will to learn. She is a S.A.H. Mum, not chained to the kitchen.
Frankly I can't do any of those things, but don't have to, luckily. There are females who enjoy typical male pursuits and vice versa but our sexuality is not to be questioned.
Jeans are practical, they are not manly or butch. Us women would look pretty daft in a girly, girly, dress digging the garden or decorating e.g. Jeans are practical, comfortable and hardwearing. They also can be s e x y !
Relax ! Us females come in all shapes, sizes and degrees of what is perceived as 'feminine'.
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Old 12-15-2012, 09:10 PM #4
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What is SAH. I do love to cook, I do not love to clean but who does. I decorate cakes for people and am very domestic. I love being at home. God has me at home w/ my kids and there is no doubt that is where I belong. My son loves that I can help him w/ his truck and my little girl loves it when we play ponies. We are women and we are a gift from God.
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Old 12-15-2012, 11:01 PM #5
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Default Re: What am I??

Thank you so much! It is very helpful to know that I'm not the only one who can't fit certain stereotypes. Yeah, I'm attracted to guys as well...Just not allowed to be. (Definitely not allowed women either, though...) I'm 16.

SAH=Stay at Home
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Old 12-16-2012, 03:21 AM #6
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Default Re: What am I??

Indeed you are Big Mama, as we all are, a gift. If you are chained to the kitchen that's through choice.
A S.A.H. Mum is a stay at home Mum.
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Old 12-16-2012, 08:46 PM #7
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SAH Stay At Home mom. Good. I could think of so many other things most of them not so nice. So Stay at home mom that is the greatest title ever.

If your attraction is to men and you can see the beauty in women you are most likely not gay. You are 16 and denied access to guys. That is unfortunate. Good luck w/ this.

Is there a reason you are denied access to guys? Religion, overprotectiveness, home school?
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Old 12-17-2012, 09:47 AM #8
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Default Re: What am I??

Yeah, probably all three...Definitely one and three, two seems very likely.
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Old 12-17-2012, 10:21 AM #9
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When I was your age I was denied access to males except in a school setting. My mom made sure to scare me to death w/ tales of how men were looking at me. That was bad, because all men lust after girls. They were dirty nasty creatures. So the last thing I wanted to do was to be in the presence of a male. I attend church and have for many many years. Sex was WRONG was preached heavily at church. We had a large (for the middle of no where) youth group and we were always kept separate. Because guys and girls should not mingle because teenagers are hormone filled little monsters.

This were things we were led to believe, assumptions. In reality guys are really not that gross and nasty. They are not all saints but neither are girls. And teenagers are not evil sex desiring monsters. It is the grownups who are not comfortable seeing affection. I can certainly see how religion affected my view of guys. Girls w/ girls was so ungodly it was not EVEN somethiing you mention. It was that was bad. I don't agree w/ girls and girls either. But I'm a firm believer in love the sinner not the sin.

I home school my son. He is 15 years old. He is home schooled due to bullying and standing up for his religious beliefs and not accepting the worlds sin and sexual ways along w/ drugs. He wants to go back to public school to mingle w/ guys and girls his age. I want him to also. I am uncomfortable w/ affection but I do not want my downfalls to be projected on to my son and have him to believe such untrue things.

If you are denied access to men how are you to meet a future husband. God want us to be fruitful and multiply. We can't multiply by ourselves you know. I hope things get easier for you. Never compromise who you are. Be yourself and a guy will come along who likes you for you. You sure don't want him to like you for who you are pretending to be. Embrace being you, the tomboy you is wonderful. Not all guys like a girly girl. My H sure don't. He dislikes high maintenance girls, drama queen girls and girly girls. So be you.
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Old 12-17-2012, 08:18 PM #10
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Default Re: What am I??

Wow, that sounds a lot like my parents! Except for the youth group part...My family and I are the only ones in our whole church under like 50.

Certainly if I told my parents I was wondering about any of this, they would have pretty much been very angry. And I don't like the idea of girl/girl or guy/guy either, I was just beginning to wonder.
I can't really be myself at home, but I'll be moving out/going to college as soon as I can.

Thank you so much for all your encouragement! I really appreciate it.
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