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Old 07-02-2017, 09:47 PM   #11
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Hi Again,

I'm sorry to see that despite your efforts things have not improved for you. You don't really have an addiction, what you mind and body feel is all very natural starting with teenage boys and ending at old age or death!

You really need to have a long and open talk with your wife. I would even suggest a Marriage Counsellor either together or just for you. I cant see this situation continually as a happy marriage - Sorry.
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Old 07-05-2017, 08:45 AM   #12
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Thanks KB,

I'm going to stay the course on this one.

I want to be married to my wife. I want to grow intimacy with my wife. This will take time and hard work, but it is the life I want. I don't want to feel like an evil person for my little slip ups. I looked at some lingerie pictures yesterday on my computer for a few minutes. I need to say, that is normal, and then move back into focusing on growing with my wife.
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Old 07-17-2017, 10:48 AM   #13
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Just checking in.

I spent a couple of days a couple of weeks ago where I felt like I was insatiable... Mast a few times a day for 2-3 days, then it leveled off again.

I haven't mast in at least a week now. The last two days I've had some real desires to start viewing some stuff. I looked up some lingerie pictures yesterday and today, and am making myself stop at that.

Again, I want my wife so terribly. I wish I had a proper relationship with her. Even at our best I found her to be...reluctant.

We had a day together last week without kids and it was so fantastic, and I was so aroused by her laugh, by her smile, by her pretty face, by her scent... I had an erection that came and went throughout the entire day. I loved her and wanted her so much. That continued through the evening as we went out for a meal and dancing, and she was so fantastic, and I was just so... hers. But there was no way that was transcending into sex. The following day we were close throughout the day, killed a bottle of wine together that night, and... Nothing. No interest in intimacy at all.

I know I've been a liar, and hid my porn viewing from my wife. But everyone can break. I have no outlet for sex in my life. I'm on here today to voice this stuff because I want to curtail my viewing, and get my head sorted. I looked at a few non-nude images yesterday and today, and that's it. No more.
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Old 07-28-2017, 12:11 PM   #14
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Still here, just checking in. Again, a few days ago, I had two days where I felt like I was insatiable. I did view some very explicit stuff on those two days, and I did masturbate, but not while viewing, and not while thinking about that explicit material. It was a different day and my wife was on my mind the whole time.

Since then, it's been up and down. Some days strong sexual desires, and some days not as strong. Some days of viewing bikini or lingerie photos, and some not. No other days of masturbation.

I really just think that I have regular, not compulsive, urges, and that I don't have an outlet for them.

We've had some time recently where my wife and I were very close; lots of cuddling, some sexy talk, lots of body contact, but no sex, and no breast or genital touching.

I honestly don't understand some of the ways she thinks. I came home one day and she was working out. She had on yoga pants, a sports bra and a tight top, and looked so da*n good, and I told her so, and I told her I wanted her.

To her that was repulsive. I acted on physical attraction, and made physical comments to her about her appearance, and I shouldn't be attracted to that, because that means I could be attracted like that to someone else.

It was nothing explicit either, nothing like your t*ts look great in that top, more like Wow, you look so hot in what your wearing, and you've got such an incredible figure. I'd love to throw you in bed right now. To her that means any woman then could potentially stir sexual feelings in me.

Yes. That is how we're made! We're human animals! It doesn't mean you act on it, or think wistfully how you'd like to have that other person instead of your spouse! It just means, dang, that other person looks really good!

My wife has told me that she doesn't find me sexually attractive. She has told me that she knows I like lingerie and that I like breasts a lot, and that she is never going to wear lingerie or anything that shows off her breasts again because she knows I have looked at other women wearing those things. She knows I like a ton of foreplay, and she has said that if we ever have sex again, there will be no foreplay, because she doesn't want me caught up in the physical aspects of sex and attraction.

I'm over 40. I love my wife and my kids and my home. I don't have much time left to have a really physically active sex life, I don't think. I go through this marriage day by day looking for reasons to be positive and to remain. It's bad to say, but my need for an intimate relationship may cause me to leave this life behind. I have to decide to remain in a good, fun, platonic relationship with my wife, or consider leaving with the hope of finding someone to pursue an intimate relationship with.
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