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Unread 07-02-2017, 08:47 PM   #11
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Hi Again,

I'm sorry to see that despite your efforts things have not improved for you. You don't really have an addiction, what you mind and body feel is all very natural starting with teenage boys and ending at old age or death!

You really need to have a long and open talk with your wife. I would even suggest a Marriage Counsellor either together or just for you. I cant see this situation continually as a happy marriage - Sorry.
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Unread 07-05-2017, 07:45 AM   #12
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Thanks KB,

I'm going to stay the course on this one.

I want to be married to my wife. I want to grow intimacy with my wife. This will take time and hard work, but it is the life I want. I don't want to feel like an evil person for my little slip ups. I looked at some lingerie pictures yesterday on my computer for a few minutes. I need to say, that is normal, and then move back into focusing on growing with my wife.
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Unread 07-17-2017, 09:48 AM   #13
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Just checking in.

I spent a couple of days a couple of weeks ago where I felt like I was insatiable... Mast a few times a day for 2-3 days, then it leveled off again.

I haven't mast in at least a week now. The last two days I've had some real desires to start viewing some stuff. I looked up some lingerie pictures yesterday and today, and am making myself stop at that.

Again, I want my wife so terribly. I wish I had a proper relationship with her. Even at our best I found her to be...reluctant.

We had a day together last week without kids and it was so fantastic, and I was so aroused by her laugh, by her smile, by her pretty face, by her scent... I had an erection that came and went throughout the entire day. I loved her and wanted her so much. That continued through the evening as we went out for a meal and dancing, and she was so fantastic, and I was just so... hers. But there was no way that was transcending into sex. The following day we were close throughout the day, killed a bottle of wine together that night, and... Nothing. No interest in intimacy at all.

I know I've been a liar, and hid my porn viewing from my wife. But everyone can break. I have no outlet for sex in my life. I'm on here today to voice this stuff because I want to curtail my viewing, and get my head sorted. I looked at a few non-nude images yesterday and today, and that's it. No more.
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