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Old 10-12-2017, 11:01 AM   #1
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Default Anybody feel disappointed with themselves? With their life?

I sure do, sometimes. Most of the time, actually. Not much I can do about it, though. Just let it be, I guess? Live and learn. Like, a lot! Not that it does me much good -- or anyone else, either. Still. . .maybe the purpose of my life was . . .my life. And it's not over yet. No expectations much at this point. So. . .maybe not so many more disappointments either?
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Old 10-12-2017, 01:44 PM   #2
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Default Re: Anybody feel disappointed with themselves? With their life?

there is a philosophy called "Radical Acceptance" that i am embracing as much as i am able. it postulates that it is not the external world which is the source of our misery, but our own internal perspective.

since i have lost everything but my home and my cats, i have nothing left to do but work on myself; and i find that it has made all the difference in how i feel about being alive. i am making real head-way on reducing dissatisfaction, blame, anger and all the miserable emotions, and resorting to positive exercises, letting go of all that and looking for whatever good the "friendly universe" might be sending my way.

instead of a miserable, lonely old age, i have found gratitude for my misfortunes; they help me to relinquish my grasp on 'should-have, would have', and practice accepting what is and doing my best to have a kinder response.

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Old 10-12-2017, 02:31 PM   #3
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You dont know what effect you are having on other people or karma or whatever RIGHT NOW. Hey when we were growing up, you couldnt get a phd in tv watching. You can now! Maybe after we are gone, people will be studying OUR little microwave emissions or whatever they are, and finding significance in them, while we die penniless and unknown like Van Gogh. You just do you
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Old 10-12-2017, 03:42 PM   #4
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Default Re: Anybody feel disappointed with themselves? With their life?

Oh yes... this is where I live... completely, utterly disappointed, embarrassed, angered & confused... all at the same time. And it is too late to do anything about any of it now. It all just is what it is... or was what it was. I strive to live in the moment as much as possible. And I live a pretty-much reclusive lifestyle at this point... just treading water... waiting for the end to arrive...
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Old 12-08-2017, 12:34 PM   #5
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Default Re: Anybody feel disappointed with themselves? With their life?

I was feeling like a failure again today and returned to this thread.

Thanks, Gus, for your insights. Even before I came back here I had to do something to make the intolerable better, and tried some compassion meditation. It HAS helped. How is anybody else doing?
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Old 12-08-2017, 12:53 PM   #6
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I still havent won a Nobel or MacArthur prize. But theres always next year, right? How old was Grandma Moses when she started painting?

Or Look at it this way - youre not effing up in as big a way as some people are. Doesnt that count for anything? Like, you didnt have a trump offspring. That makes you a hero in my book.
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Old 12-08-2017, 04:43 PM   #7
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Thanks, yeah. I able later to feel grateful that I wasn't a 100% failure.
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Old 12-08-2017, 05:02 PM   #8
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I wake up in the night thinking about mistakes I've made in life. On the whole it's been a failure. Worries me that I'll be gone in a few years leaving my son to struggle on his own without anyone to help.
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Old 12-09-2017, 01:25 PM   #9
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turn around and the whole view changes.....
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Old 12-09-2017, 05:49 PM   #10
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Default Re: Anybody feel disappointed with themselves? With their life?

Quote:
Originally Posted by here today View Post
I was feeling like a failure again today and returned to this thread.

Thanks, Gus, for your insights. Even before I came back here I had to do something to make the intolerable better, and tried some compassion meditation. It HAS helped. How is anybody else doing?
Boy did this hit a nerve! This is me in all areas- work, family, relationships- name it! Sure didn't help that I was alcoholic for over 30 years, now 6 years in recovery which by doing the program brought up so many issues from my past that I could not understand. Self compassion is a must, for myself I now know there were many things in life for which I was given no preparation, even clues, eg goal setting and when that became known to me, it was really water under the bridge. Sure I beat myself up for it terribly but deep down I'm so aware that such things have kept me in my little rut of a life.
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