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Unread 03-20-2017, 09:10 AM   #1
Anonymous37918
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Default Past distorting my career choices

I'm trying to decide what to study, and something's messing me up.. My whole life, I've felt I want to help people - but at the same time, I feel this really intense hatred, almost, at the thought of having to help others..

I just realised it's to do with how I had to grow up.. I was always worrying about my mother, always trying to make sure she was alright - because if she lost it and became unable to take care of me, I wouldn't have had anyone. My dad didn't want me. And this trauma happened at an age when no one apart from my immediate family registered on my radar.. The only other person I had besides my mum was my brother, and he couldn't have done anything, he was a child himself.

Now I feel I need to just say I did not want to take care of my mother. I did not! I want to see what happens when I just put it out there, and hopefully have someone hear me.. Whether my dreams for my future will change I feel I need to put this to rest before I can know what I want to do..
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Unread 03-21-2017, 07:19 PM   #2
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In cultivating compassion we draw from the wholeness of our experience—our suffering, our empathy, as well as our cruelty and terror. It has to be this way. Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It’s a relationship between equals. Only when we know our own darkness well can we be present with the darkness of others. Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity. Pema Chödrön- The Places That Scare You
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