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Old 03-17-2019, 09:38 PM #11
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Default Re: Am I that incompetent for computer science?

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What do your treatment team think would be best for you at this point in your life? My friend's son was unable to do anything except play computer games for a year after his parents' divorce, and his counsellor suggested that he found a physical recreational activity that he liked. Amazingly enough - he had depression and ADHD - after some experiment he found that he passionately adored rock climbing - go figure! Even though he had to travel right across the city to a climbing wall, he found that he was fantastically enthusiastic about this activity... and then he made friends and his confidence and love of life came back.

Perhaps instead of forcing yourself to do something that has no meaning for you, you need to dedicate a year with your treatment team finding some activity which you can do and which you enjoy.

I studied computing when I was very depressed. I didn't pass the exam, but it was for work so mainly to get a feel for the breadth of the subject. I passed my university degree much later than most people - I was 30 - and despite being traumatised I worked hard and enjoyed the studying.

Unaluna knows more about computer science than I do - but seems to me that unless you enjoy some parts of the course then you and your dad need to admit that it's not for you at this moment in time. That acknowledgement in itself will be your challenge!


Just my opinion. Usually I tell people to push through rather than give up, but I think that right now you might need the faith to be honest with your dad and yourself. See whether you feel that challenging this idea of "educational/ career success" would be a better way forward???

That brings me to another question: what do you think is necessary for you to do at this stage in your life??? For me it was necessary to support myself financially and I had no choice about that. If you have a choice, then what do you honestly feel is necessary for you - this day, this month, this year???

Another question: will you dad still love you if you leave university? Can you both find enough love to take a leap of trust together? You will need someone wholeheartedly behind you.
My treatment team wants me to continue with my plan of getting help from a tutor. My doctor is very supportive and does not want me to drop out because he says I'm doing well at this point as far as not being bogged down by my mental illnesses like I once was before. Financially dropping out wouldn't be advised due to financial aid and scholarships. My dad will support whatever decision I make, he just wants me to healthy mentally, physically etc.
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Old 03-18-2019, 04:03 AM #12
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Default Re: Am I that incompetent for computer science?

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My treatment team wants me to continue with my plan of getting help from a tutor. My doctor is very supportive and does not want me to drop out because he says I'm doing well at this point as far as not being bogged down by my mental illnesses like I once was before. Financially dropping out wouldn't be advised due to financial aid and scholarships. My dad will support whatever decision I make, he just wants me to healthy mentally, physically etc.
Good. Well done. Sounds like you know the choice that needs to be made, and you know that people care about and are supporting you. Give yourself credit m'dear - life is about honest relationships and dealing with challenges. If you have two caring relationships already, then you will find your way through the rest of it . Sounds like people around you have your back because they can see how positively you are dealing with this.

Your university tutor is representing that part of the outside world which has it's own agenda.


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Old 03-18-2019, 08:21 AM #13
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Default Re: Am I that incompetent for computer science?

I almost dropped out of school. I had gotten married when I was 20 and had a baby when I was 21 so I took a semester off. I thought I could never do working, baby care and wifeing. I am glad I powered through it. I changed majors five times and even with that semester off I graduated in '98 when it should have been '97. You can do this, we got your back!
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Old 03-18-2019, 11:47 PM #14
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Default Re: Am I that incompetent for computer science?

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This will probably be a long rant.
I just needed to put it all out there before I start crying.
I'm a junior studying computer science at a local university.
The school is no way one of the top schools for cs.
But yet I'm still struggling really bad. I'm only taking 3 classes
because they are all 4 credits each. Two classes I'm retaking because
I received a D grade in them and they don't allow D grades in major courses
linear algebra and data structures and algorithm analysis. I'm also taking a genetics course. I have missed some time in my data structures class due to illness. I'm registered with DSS at my school and for the most part they are pretty accommodating do have anxiety, ocd, depression and was recently diagnosed with ADHD. I'm being treated for all previous conditions.
However this semester, the data structures prof is not really helpful.
He stated multiple times that he will not repeat what hes done in class already and that I should just read the power points he posts. Even when I go to office hours he is extremely condescending to the point where he said
"I know you have your issue, but you need a lot of work to be successful in this class. Mentally I can't take anymore of his condescending during office hours so I've recently contacted possible tutors. But i'm really worried because my dad said that maybe computer science just is not for me because I cant seem to understand this material even the second time around. I cannot change my major because I'm too far along in it. Am I too incompetent for computer science? Or is it just my anxiety talking and I should stop worrying and just continue to study and do my best? Any and all advice is accepted, because I'm at my wits end at this point.
Sorry you're struggling Ken. I am wondering what you are working toward. Beyond the degree...what specific job do you wish to do? Have you done some informational interviewing and job-shadowing with people currently doing that job? I think that could be really useful...to see what a typical day or week on that job looks like...to know if that's what you want and if it's obtainable. You mentioned an attention deficit and OCD...do you feel that those would impact your ability to do the particular job you're interested in? For example, I'm not someone who would want to be stuck in a chair in front of a screen for much of the day at work. I like to move often and interact with others. But that's just me. I think it's really helpful to think of all the aspects of a job/career and a typical day when we weigh up what we want and choose a major.

You mentioned recent grades not going well. Was that just one tough semester? How were things going before? How were your grades in your first and second years of university?

You always have options. When we feel depressed, we can often feel stuck in a corner. But there is always more than one way to live your life. I wish you peace and a bright future!
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Old 03-23-2019, 06:57 PM #15
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Default Re: Am I that incompetent for computer science?

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Originally Posted by saidso View Post
Good. Well done. Sounds like you know the choice that needs to be made, and you know that people care about and are supporting you. Give yourself credit m'dear - life is about honest relationships and dealing with challenges. If you have two caring relationships already, then you will find your way through the rest of it . Sounds like people around you have your back because they can see how positively you are dealing with this.

Your university tutor is representing that part of the outside world which has it's own agenda.


Yes I am truly grateful for the support system I have.
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Old 03-23-2019, 06:58 PM #16
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Default Re: Am I that incompetent for computer science?

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Originally Posted by sarahsweets View Post
I almost dropped out of school. I had gotten married when I was 20 and had a baby when I was 21 so I took a semester off. I thought I could never do working, baby care and wifeing. I am glad I powered through it. I changed majors five times and even with that semester off I graduated in '98 when it should have been '97. You can do this, we got your back!
Thanks so much, reading success stories really does help!
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Old 03-23-2019, 07:01 PM #17
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Default Re: Am I that incompetent for computer science?

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Originally Posted by SilverTrees View Post
Sorry you're struggling Ken. I am wondering what you are working toward. Beyond the degree...what specific job do you wish to do? Have you done some informational interviewing and job-shadowing with people currently doing that job? I think that could be really useful...to see what a typical day or week on that job looks like...to know if that's what you want and if it's obtainable. You mentioned an attention deficit and OCD...do you feel that those would impact your ability to do the particular job you're interested in? For example, I'm not someone who would want to be stuck in a chair in front of a screen for much of the day at work. I like to move often and interact with others. But that's just me. I think it's really helpful to think of all the aspects of a job/career and a typical day when we weigh up what we want and choose a major.

You mentioned recent grades not going well. Was that just one tough semester? How were things going before? How were your grades in your first and second years of university?

You always have options. When we feel depressed, we can often feel stuck in a corner. But there is always more than one way to live your life. I wish you peace and a bright future!

I've had an internship in IT already so it is truly something I want to pursue. I've only ever failed one class and that was due to being absent and not being able to grasp the material. I graduated with a 2.83 from community college, not to bad for someone who was actually home schooled through a home and hospital program for half of my high school career. Thanks for wishing me peace and a bright future, same to you!
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