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Old 06-06-2018, 12:42 AM   #1
Skull&Crossbones
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Default Higher education destroys my self esteem

I have to take some classes in order to get a certification to get a better job, but I'm reminded how stupid and incompetent taking classes makes me feel. At least at my last job, I was treated like I was treated like I was competent and not completely stupid (most of the time). I've only gone to the second day of my first class and I already feel too incompetent to do the job I was hoping to do someday. Education should make you do a better job at your future job not tank your self-worth so much that you just fail.

I was hoping I would be over my dissertation defense and oral comps, but I'm not. I just hope no one figures out my background. I wouldn't want anyone to expect anything of me.

But does anyone know how to rise above the mire that's higher education and not have their self-esteem destroyed by it?
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Old 06-12-2018, 07:08 PM   #2
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Hi there, I'll try my best to help so here are my two cents. I think you should keep in mind that you'll get a better job once you finish these classes. The rewards that you will receive is something you want to pursue, they should be your motivator. Also, I want to remind you that not everyone will treat you the same; the people from your old workplace compared to future people won't be the same. I believe you can overcome and conquer these negative aspects that are stumping your strengths and become the best version of yourself while improving your self-esteem (it may as well be a small or big change, but you'll look back and see the improvement)! However, it's going to be a rough journey depending on your situation, but I know that you can pull through and make the best out of your situation. As for your classes, tackling it day by day is the best thing you can do right now. If there's anything difficult to understand, Youtube always helps me out whether it's self- or school-related, so it may help you. However, I just want to let you know that if anything proves itself to be too stressful or hard, it's alright to quit and start somewhere else (but I don't know the circumstances of your situation, so I'm going to assume). Thanks for hearing me out~
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Old 06-13-2018, 06:16 AM   #3
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It's hard for people with any of the anxiety disorder to do well in higher education.
So much that it has affected me I've put my "help me" thread in my signature. It's just too hard for me now.
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Old 06-13-2018, 11:40 PM   #4
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Default Re: Higher education destroys my self esteem

Thanks guys. I just want to make it clear, that it isn't the coursework that's the issue. I've always had a very high GPA, even when I've been less, let's just say, stable.

The issue now is that I'm taking a class with everyone else already has the type of job I'm trying to eventually get, and some of them have been doing it for YEARS. So I'm the stupid one in the class. It's just depressing. And I have to leave work early to go to class so I'm losing money. Plus, I'm not eligible for ANY financial aid. Not even loans if I wanted to go that route. All because of having my terminal degree. I get it, I'm not supposed to go back to school at this point. I'm supposed to be teaching at a college myself. I'm just not good enough or smart enough to compete with other applicants for the handful of jobs that there are.
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Old 06-14-2018, 04:09 PM   #5
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Default Re: Higher education destroys my self esteem

Quote:
Originally Posted by Skull&Crossbones View Post
Thanks guys. I just want to make it clear, that it isn't the coursework that's the issue. I've always had a very high GPA, even when I've been less, let's just say, stable.

The issue now is that I'm taking a class with everyone else already has the type of job I'm trying to eventually get, and some of them have been doing it for YEARS. So I'm the stupid one in the class. It's just depressing. And I have to leave work early to go to class so I'm losing money. Plus, I'm not eligible for ANY financial aid. Not even loans if I wanted to go that route. All because of having my terminal degree. I get it, I'm not supposed to go back to school at this point. I'm supposed to be teaching at a college myself. I'm just not good enough or smart enough to compete with other applicants for the handful of jobs that there are.
While I haven't had to sacrifice as much time and money as you are, I've been in a similar position lately, where in order to acquire larger responsibilities in the financial planning firm I work for, I've had to take some tough, disheartening classes.

Like you, I've always had a high GPA, despite mental health factors working against me. But now I'm stuck in these courses filled with professionals who already have years of experience in this industry I'm just now getting familiar with. It's profoundly frustrating and discouraging to feel like the stupid one in class.

I know this doesn't address everything, and despite similarities, I recognize we're in different boats... But I've had to reevaluate how I handle my self-esteem. I can't pin my value on something I'm learning now, years out of school, in a field full of people who have been doing this work longer than I've even been out of diapers in some cases. I reassure myself that I'm smart and good, even if in different ways than my classmates. I recognize I'm at a disadvantage, and I value my dedication to fighting through that. It's not always easy, but I've been getting better.

I also reward my efforts by doing things I know I'm good at on the side, or at least enjoy doing. Takes some of the pain out of it.
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Old 06-15-2018, 11:36 PM   #6
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Default Re: Higher education destroys my self esteem

Don't ever say your not good or smart enough. That right there causes low self esteem I know. Its alright that you don't know all of what is going on in class now, you've just started and professors do take that into consideration. Also don't compare yourself too others, I have a nasty habit of that as well and it gives me nothing but anxiety and depression because of it. Stay positive, study, and you'll do well and get the job your trying to get!
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Old 06-17-2018, 07:07 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Skull&Crossbones View Post
I have to take some classes in order to get a certification to get a better job, but I'm reminded how stupid and incompetent taking classes makes me feel. At least at my last job, I was treated like I was treated like I was competent and not completely stupid (most of the time). I've only gone to the second day of my first class and I already feel too incompetent to do the job I was hoping to do someday. Education should make you do a better job at your future job not tank your self-worth so much that you just fail.

I was hoping I would be over my dissertation defense and oral comps, but I'm not. I just hope no one figures out my background. I wouldn't want anyone to expect anything of me.

But does anyone know how to rise above the mire that's higher education and not have their self-esteem destroyed by it?
I was bullied by my professor and my previous and current graduation team and their senior manager who had made a false accusations against me and had defrauded from my stipend and financial aid and banned me from going anywhere. I understand your pain and frustration.
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Old 06-17-2018, 07:08 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Skull&Crossbones View Post
I have to take some classes in order to get a certification to get a better job, but I'm reminded how stupid and incompetent taking classes makes me feel. At least at my last job, I was treated like I was treated like I was competent and not completely stupid (most of the time). I've only gone to the second day of my first class and I already feel too incompetent to do the job I was hoping to do someday. Education should make you do a better job at your future job not tank your self-worth so much that you just fail.

I was hoping I would be over my dissertation defense and oral comps, but I'm not. I just hope no one figures out my background. I wouldn't want anyone to expect anything of me.

But does anyone know how to rise above the mire that's higher education and not have their self-esteem destroyed by it?
Just be sure that you document everything that happened in writing. Just in case!
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Old 06-17-2018, 07:14 PM   #9
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Default Re: Higher education destroys my self esteem

I would encourage not comparing yourself to your classmates (although I know that's much easier said than done).
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Old 06-21-2018, 07:37 PM   #10
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Default Re: Higher education destroys my self esteem

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Originally Posted by ken9018 View Post
Don't ever say your not good or smart enough. That right there causes low self esteem I know. Its alright that you don't know all of what is going on in class now, you've just started and professors do take that into consideration. Also don't compare yourself too others, I have a nasty habit of that as well and it gives me nothing but anxiety and depression because of it. Stay positive, study, and you'll do well and get the job your trying to get!
I don't think I've ever had self-esteem. And you know (the collective you) that people are comparing me to themselves and others. That's just human nature and the nature of the business I'm in. I mean, you can't even get a job if you're not better than everyone else in some way. So if you or I don't compare ourselves to other people, how are we going to know how to get where we want to be.
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