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Old 04-15-2018, 06:57 AM   #1
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Default Learning (serious topic)

I came here for some advice on learning issues that i noticed one girl (my classmate) at age 15 has got. The problem is that she is learning very much(maybe even too much) and is still worse than I'am even though I ain't learning at all. She's attending a whole bunch of tutorials after school but it doesn't help. She's also got crazy strict parents who in case of some bad grades are when she's lucky only yelling at her and taking away her phone and when she ain't lucky she gets beaten + what I mentioned before. She is drinking and smoking (probably because of that whole heat) which makes the situation only worse not only because of health problems connected to those activities but when her parents(I'm reminding you that they are strict as hell) only heard about that they (as you can probably predict) used physical violence on her. What I also have to mention is that she goes to school even when she's sick. In my opinion the problem is that she can't learn properly (most probably she is learning "parrot style" if you know what i mean by that).I want to help her so please tell me what should i do.
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Old 04-15-2018, 02:06 PM   #2
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Hello Uncle_Sam: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral! I don't know if you're simply here seeking advice with regard to this particular concern, or if you plan to hang in here with us. However should you be planning to continue on (we hope you do) may I suggest you introduce yourself to the general membership over on our New Members Introductions forum? Here's a link:

I'm sorry your classmate is having such a difficult time. It's wonderful that you care enough to come here seeking advice. Unfortunately, there are so many different possibilities here I doubt there's really much of anything we are going to be able to offer. (Perhaps there will be some other members who will have some suggestions they can share.) I see too that you're in Europe. This makes it doubly difficult for me since I have no idea what types of services are available where you live.

Perhaps the best thing that could happen for this girl would be for her to be able to see a counselor or mental health therapist of some sort so she would have someone she could talk with about all that is going on with her. Beyond that, I think about the best you can do would be to be available to listen should she want to talk informally with someone about what's going on with her.

I suppose it might also be possible that you could speak with a trusted teacher or other staff member at the school the two of you attend. However, since I don't know anything about your school, I obviously don't know if this would really be a good idea or not. If you were to think about doing this, though, you might want to tell your friend you're going to do it beforehand. Here again, since I know so little about your circumstances it's really difficult to offer much of anything in the way of advice.

Here are links to 4 articles, from PsychCentral's archives, on the subject of how to help a person who has ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) or a mental illness. Perhaps some of the information in these articles, can be of some help:

My best wishes to you both.
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Old 04-21-2018, 06:15 AM   #3
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Default Re: Learning (serious topic)

This is a very difficult situation.

There are two possible avenues I can think of. You can try to talk with her about it. This assumes you are friends. If this somehow comes up, you can gently nudge that you want her to talk about this and that you are willing to listen. This of course won't solve the problem, but it may be a way for you to be supportive.

Second, talk to the professional confidential counsellor at your school, assuming they have one. You can raise your concern about her parents there. If she is severely beaten by her parents, teachers also have a responsibility there. And eventually this might lead to some intervention. You do not mention from which country you are exactly. Beating children is illegal everywhere in the EU. But in some countries, a small majority of the population may still support things like spanking of children. In the end that may mean a child gets moved away from the physically abusive parents. This is of course very far-reaching. You as a fellow child shouldn't have to be responsible for worrying about all of this. Therefore, talk to an adult you think you and she can trust. If it is not a confidential counsellor, maybe a teacher you do trust? Or maybe your own parents?
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