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Old 02-11-2018, 04:23 PM   #1
PyschCentral_User25
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Default I just needed to vent

Hi everybody.

I know what I'm about to talk about is a little bit long, and if it is long, please feel free to skim through it.

Anyhow, I guess I'll start.

This school year has been really crazy. This year (well, technically last year) since school started, it's just been really ridiculously hectic. It started first off of with Hurricane Irma (since I live in Florida) and then my Grandma having a stroke, and being in rehab ever since October. Both of these events have just completely thrown me off course, and it's affected my schooling, and almost everyone in our family.

This year was supposed to be one of my best school years of high school. I just started doing the IB program at my school, and I basically have a lot of other honors classes for the rest of the non-IB classes. And now with everything that's been going on, it's really hard to really devote 110% energy into these classes.

Ever since my grandma's had the stoke we've had to take care of my other uncle in our family, who has a learning disability, and doesn't have a job, and can't rely on his social security because they're using his money to pay for my Grandma's rehab, and her money to pay for the housing, utilities, and all that for their house. And he's a really nice person in general, but it can be extremely frustrating, and annoying having to live with him. For example sometimes I know he doesn't mean it, but he can lack common courtesy -- like leaving a mess in the bathroom, or going through and using my own shoes (and they were brand new and I didn't even get to use it yet), and keeping his stuff in my room, so when he gets back home from rehab late at night -- like at 10 PM, I can hear him as I'm trying to sleep. And it's just things like that in general. And it's weird, because these two small events have really impacted me. I don't dislike my uncle, I try to be thoughtful and extra caring to him given that he has a learning disability, and all the things he's been through, but it's just those small things that make it easy to get frustrated at him.

I guess I just needed to talk and let this out, and maybe someone has some thoughts or opinions to help me out?

(Sorry again that this was long).

Well, thank you for reading it this far.
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Old 02-13-2018, 04:21 PM   #2
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Hello User25: I'm sorry I don't think there is much I could offer in the way of specific suggestions here other than to talk with your parents about these things & see if there are some ways to work around these problems. It really isn't your responsibility to put up with this.

For one thing, perhaps you just need to be able to lock the door to your room so your uncle can't just go in & rummage through your belongings. Your uncle may very well be a nice guy. But that's no excuse for inappropriate behavior on his part. I wonder if perhaps too your uncle might be eligible for some in-home services since he has a learning disability & is apparently receiving some sort of rehab services.

I obviously don't know much of anything with regard to your uncle's situation. So I can only speak in broad generalities here. But the other thing that occurs to me is that I wonder if any thought is being given to where your uncle will live if your grandma passes away or has to go to a nursing home. Is it being assumed he will continue to live with your parents for the rest of his life?

I'm an older person myself. But for many years I worked with people who have developmental disabilities. And one of the things I saw repeatedly, over the years, was situations where there was no effort put into planning for where a person with a d.d. was going to live once the parent(s) could no longer care for the person. Then, suddenly, the parent dies, or is otherwise incapacitated, & whoever is responsible at that point starts rushing around trying to figure out where the person can go.

It's much better if there can be some pre-planning so that this sort of crisis doesn't occur. So, since your uncle is receiving some sort of rehab services, perhaps some effort to work, with whatever rehab professionals he has in his life, would be worthwhile in an effort to plan for his future. And this could perhaps be tied in with some services aimed at helping him to fit into your home now. I know that doesn't solve your immediate concerns. But it might be beneficial for your uncle in the long run... just a few things to consider. It's no doubt difficult for you since it's really your parents who are responsible here. And it does make a difference where in the U.S. you live. Where I live there are quite a lot of services available for people who have developmental disabilities. But that isn't necessarily the case everywhere.

I believe this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit. May I suggest you introduce yourself over on PC's New Member Introductions forum? Here's a link:

https://forums.psychcentral.com/new-...introductions/

There's a lot of support that can be available here on PC. The more you post, & reply to other members' posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are the chat rooms where you'll be able to interact with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) So please keep posting!
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Old 02-23-2018, 05:30 AM   #3
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Default Re: I just needed to vent

Hi there,

Thank you for replying back to me and the nice warm welcome, haha. And I deeply apologize about responding so late as things have been extremely busy for me lately. But yeah, it is rather annoying and frusturating when he does things like rummaging through my stuff without necessarily asking. And not to be rude about it or towards him, it's just that -- I mean you're right, he shouldn't really be doing that in the first place. I've also considered keeping in mind about discussing with my parents about my uncle, and I think if I ever need to do so, I'll bring it up to them. But I think it is important to tell them about that if the time does ever time.

Thank you.
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Old 02-23-2018, 06:34 AM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PyschCentral_User25 View Post
Hi everybody.

This year was supposed to be one of my best school years of high school. I just started doing the IB program at my school, and I basically have a lot of other honors classes for the rest of the non-IB classes. And now with everything that's been going on, it's really hard to really devote 110% energy into these classes.
IB classes are very challenging. When my children went to school, they took a lot of AP classes which were also challenging. I know schools try to encourage students to take a lot of these classes but I recall my kids were taking a couple of AP classes their freshman year and by their sophomore year on were always taking about four AP classes--it was very stressful (they had 6 classes a day plus were in a performing arts school so they also were always staying late to practice their art) and I think some schools are pushing the kids too much. Some students may want this challenge but if you are becoming stressed--is it possible to take more non-IB courses next year? I am not say don't take any IB courses--just consider taking less of them next year. If you go to college, you can continue to challenge yourself there. I think learning to pace yourself is an important part of becoming successful in life. Just do your best to get through it but if you will still be in high school next year think hard about how many IB courses that you can best handle. For instance, if you took 2 instead of 4, you might have the time and energy to really get the most out of the 2 you do take. This is my opinion of course and you talked about your circumstances causing most of the stress I realize but look inside of yourself to consider how many IB courses are the best fit for your current abilities and lifestyle.
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Old 02-28-2018, 05:37 AM   #5
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Default Re: I just needed to vent

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopingtrying View Post
IB classes are very challenging. When my children went to school, they took a lot of AP classes which were also challenging. I know schools try to encourage students to take a lot of these classes but I recall my kids were taking a couple of AP classes their freshman year and by their sophomore year on were always taking about four AP classes--it was very stressful (they had 6 classes a day plus were in a performing arts school so they also were always staying late to practice their art) and I think some schools are pushing the kids too much. Some students may want this challenge but if you are becoming stressed--is it possible to take more non-IB courses next year? I am not say don't take any IB courses--just consider taking less of them next year. If you go to college, you can continue to challenge yourself there. I think learning to pace yourself is an important part of becoming successful in life. Just do your best to get through it but if you will still be in high school next year think hard about how many IB courses that you can best handle. For instance, if you took 2 instead of 4, you might have the time and energy to really get the most out of the 2 you do take. This is my opinion of course and you talked about your circumstances causing most of the stress I realize but look inside of yourself to consider how many IB courses are the best fit for your current abilities and lifestyle.
Hi.

I apologize for getting back to you really late. I appreciate your input, as well and for taking the time to reply back to my post. I agree with what you mentioned. Well, I am actually already taking two IB classes (the minimum) and as I am only doing IBCP. But I am also taking Honors classes for my non-IB classes, just so that way those classes don't really impact my GPA, but they offer the same amount of workload as my IB classes would/do. But it is stressful, but I think maybe overtime I'll learn to over-look or work around my schedule to make things less stressful.

Thank you again.
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Old 01-01-2019, 10:42 PM   #6
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Default Re: I just needed to vent

Quote:
Originally Posted by Anonymous57777 View Post
IB classes are very challenging. When my children went to school, they took a lot of AP classes which were also challenging. I know schools try to encourage students to take a lot of these classes but I recall my kids were taking a couple of AP classes their freshman year and by their sophomore year on were always taking about four AP classes--it was very stressful (they had 6 classes a day plus were in a performing arts school so they also were always staying late to practice their art) and I think some schools are pushing the kids too much. Some students may want this challenge but if you are becoming stressed--is it possible to take more non-IB courses next year? I am not say don't take any IB courses--just consider taking less of them next year. If you go to college, you can continue to challenge yourself there. I think learning to pace yourself is an important part of becoming successful in life. Just do your best to get through it but if you will still be in high school next year think hard about how many IB courses that you can best handle. For instance, if you took 2 instead of 4, you might have the time and energy to really get the most out of the 2 you do take. This is my opinion of course and you talked about your circumstances causing most of the stress I realize but look inside of yourself to consider how many IB courses are the best fit for your current abilities and lifestyle.
Hi there,

Iím really sorry for replying late, I havenít logged into my PyschCentral account for a long time because I hadnít ever received notifications or anything of that sort letting me know I had a response to this post.

I really appreciate you for having taken the time to read my post and respond to it.

Being a student, and hearing that come from a parent/guardian of another child ó even though you arenít mind was kind of helpful. Itís relieving to know that guardians/parents are aware that IB/college-level courses are a lot of work and rigor.

I actually ended up dropping out of the IB program. Iím doing one AP course and still doing honors. I decided to drop out because of just personal things going on in my life, and home issues ó I didnít have the mental/physical energy to continue with IB like that as much as I miss doing IB.

Thank you again for taking your time to reply, and for having read my post. I really do appreciate it.
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