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Old 01-10-2018, 09:50 AM   #1
XoAnnie4
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Default I feel embarrassed every time I go to school

Hello all!

Every day when I go to school I always feel extremely embarrassed to be seen by others because of what Iím wearing. My parents are the overprotective type and they think that if I get cold Iíll get sick so they make me bundle up. I have to wear a massive down parka which is so heavy and bulky that I actually have trouble moving around in it. The parka is knee length and has a big furry hood. Underneath this parka I have to wear long puffy coat. As if that wasnít bad enough, my parents also make me wear snow pants and oversized boots. They also make me wear a hat, a scarf, mittens, and my hoods up.

Nobody else at school dressed like this and itís so embarrassing to be so bundled up. Especially when I undress in the hallway and stuff all that in my locker, and after school when I have to put everything back on.

I really hate being embarrassed every day does anyone know what to do?
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Old 01-10-2018, 10:58 PM   #2
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Default Re: I feel embarrassed every time I go to school

When I was in high school I used to deal with this from my parents, too! I would often spend time putting together outfits that made me feel good and that I could wear under my parka, so that at least there was something that made me feel like myself underneath all those layers. If this is possible or interesting to you, maybe it's something you could try?
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Old 01-11-2018, 12:46 AM   #3
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Default Re: I feel embarrassed every time I go to school

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Originally Posted by smallbluefish View Post
When I was in high school I used to deal with this from my parents, too! I would often spend time putting together outfits that made me feel good and that I could wear under my parka, so that at least there was something that made me feel like myself underneath all those layers. If this is possible or interesting to you, maybe it's something you could try?
At least Iím not alone in this, how did your parents make you dress? And thatís something that I could be doing more of, for me itís just the embarrassment of everyone seeing me when Iím bundled up, and other students seeing me taking off and putting all my winter clothes back on at school.
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Old 01-12-2018, 04:44 AM   #4
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At least Iím not alone in this, how did your parents make you dress? And thatís something that I could be doing more of, for me itís just the embarrassment of everyone seeing me when Iím bundled up, and other students seeing me taking off and putting all my winter clothes back on at school.
I wore similar clothes--a puffy parka that went down to my knees with a furry hood, boots, a hat, scarf, oversized boots! It didn't help that almost all of these things were a size too big for me, haha. But yes, that makes sense, getting all the layers on/off can feel like an ordeal. That being said I feel like a lot of other people have experienced embarrassment from overprotective parents too, even if in other ways, so they probably understand that it's your parents and not you who decided on those clothes!

Would it help to think about what people who care about you for your personality think about you, rather than those who you might worry about seeing you? They probably like you for reasons other than how you dress, and who knows maybe they even appreciate it as a quirk!
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Old 01-12-2018, 09:24 AM   #5
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Default Re: I feel embarrassed every time I go to school

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I wore similar clothes--a puffy parka that went down to my knees with a furry hood, boots, a hat, scarf, oversized boots! It didn't help that almost all of these things were a size too big for me, haha. But yes, that makes sense, getting all the layers on/off can feel like an ordeal. That being said I feel like a lot of other people have experienced embarrassment from overprotective parents too, even if in other ways, so they probably understand that it's your parents and not you who decided on those clothes!

Would it help to think about what people who care about you for your personality think about you, rather than those who you might worry about seeing you? They probably like you for reasons other than how you dress, and who knows maybe they even appreciate it as a quirk!
My parka is way too big for me too, my parents bought it too big to fit all the layers I have to wear under it. I literally always have to wear my hoods up with the scarf wrapped around them so all you can see are my eyes. And thatís true, but Iím by far the most bundled up student at my school. And thatís a tough one for me, I have trouble making friends.
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Old 01-13-2018, 05:18 AM   #6
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Default Re: I feel embarrassed every time I go to school

That's fair. I wish I could remember exactly what I did to try and change my embarrassment, or if I did anything at all, so that I could share! If getting sick is the concern of your parents, and you're still able to have conversations with them about this even if they are unsatisfactory, maybe bring up the ways you can get sick by being too bundled up? Like overheating, body pain from the weight of all the layers, etc.?

Or, potentially, bringing a small bag to school where you can stuff some layers on the way to / from school, so that you're not dealing with as many layers at your locker. Not ideal, but maybe better than having to throw the clothes away or pretend to lose them or something like that?
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Old 01-13-2018, 08:02 AM   #7
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Default Re: I feel embarrassed every time I go to school

If I were you, I'd take comfort in that you look so very over-the-top wrapped that it is almost amusing? I'd go with rolling my eyes if anyone seems to be looking at you and muttering "Parents!" or something just loud enough to be heard It's just layers of clothing? It's not "You". Just about everyone's parents have some quirk that embarrasses them?

But I feel for you; my stepmother made a lot of my clothes (including a faux "fur" hat that was an odd shape and shed horribly) still when I was in high school and they weren't exactly fashionable so I know that awkward feeling that I didn't fit in. If one is sensitive in the first place, additional burdens of seemingly "wrong" clothes or schedules (one of my girlfriends in high school was required by her mother to go home immediately and take a nap every afternoon!) or any other way we feel we "stick out" can be challenging.

Maybe you can use it to your advantage? If someone looks too long at you while you're undressing, you could give a laugh and ask them if they need a coat, you have extra? One of my favorite sayings that I still use is, "You're the right size, it's the pants that don't fit!" It's not you who are insisting on all the coats, it's your parents; don't take on the burden of their mistaken beliefs. They love you, they want you to stay well; just think fondly of them, shake your head and shed the coats :-)
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Old 01-13-2018, 08:31 AM   #8
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I'm sorry your parents worry to much
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Old 01-13-2018, 09:59 AM   #9
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Default Re: I feel embarrassed every time I go to school

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Originally Posted by smallbluefish View Post
That's fair. I wish I could remember exactly what I did to try and change my embarrassment, or if I did anything at all, so that I could share! If getting sick is the concern of your parents, and you're still able to have conversations with them about this even if they are unsatisfactory, maybe bring up the ways you can get sick by being too bundled up? Like overheating, body pain from the weight of all the layers, etc.?

Or, potentially, bringing a small bag to school where you can stuff some layers on the way to / from school, so that you're not dealing with as many layers at your locker. Not ideal, but maybe better than having to throw the clothes away or pretend to lose them or something like that?
Thatís funny because whenever I tell them that Iím too bundled up they always tell me that being too bundled up is better than getting sick. I donít get body pain but I do get pretty hot in all my layers. And Iíll be honest Iíve always thought about doing something like that but Iím paranoid that somehow my parents would find out if I did that.
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Old 01-13-2018, 10:16 AM   #10
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Default Re: I feel embarrassed every time I go to school

Quote:
Originally Posted by Perna View Post
If I were you, I'd take comfort in that you look so very over-the-top wrapped that it is almost amusing? I'd go with rolling my eyes if anyone seems to be looking at you and muttering "Parents!" or something just loud enough to be heard It's just layers of clothing? It's not "You". Just about everyone's parents have some quirk that embarrasses them?

But I feel for you; my stepmother made a lot of my clothes (including a faux "fur" hat that was an odd shape and shed horribly) still when I was in high school and they weren't exactly fashionable so I know that awkward feeling that I didn't fit in. If one is sensitive in the first place, additional burdens of seemingly "wrong" clothes or schedules (one of my girlfriends in high school was required by her mother to go home immediately and take a nap every afternoon!) or any other way we feel we "stick out" can be challenging.

Maybe you can use it to your advantage? If someone looks too long at you while you're undressing, you could give a laugh and ask them if they need a coat, you have extra? One of my favorite sayings that I still use is, "You're the right size, it's the pants that don't fit!" It's not you who are insisting on all the coats, it's your parents; don't take on the burden of their mistaken beliefs. They love you, they want you to stay well; just think fondly of them, shake your head and shed the coats :-)
Thatís something I could definitely try, if I own the look and sorta laugh at myself maybe I wouldnít be so embarrassed. But thatís easier said than done. The problem is that Iím so over the top wrapped up that others find it amusing. There are some students who always snicker and kinda laugh when Iím getting into my winter clothes at the end of the day. Sometimes someone will say something like ďItís cold out there Annie you better bundle upĒ when I shuffle past them in all my coats.

At least since itís the weekend right now I donít have to worry about going to school and dealing with that, but Iím always afraid that Iíll run in to someone I know if I leave my house. Anyone who knows me will be able to spot me from a mile away because of my winter clothes.
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