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Old 03-19-2019, 10:03 AM #61
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Default Re: coping with schizophrenia

I had a dream that I was dancing with a lady in an elevator. It was a silly but nice dream.
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Old 03-19-2019, 10:38 PM #62
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i was watching some video when the commentator started to talk about women's clothing. he was also complaining about women in tight jeans and etc. though he noted it's mostly high school girls.


i don't really notice what women wear nowadays. i'll be honest and admit that i'm not too fond of summer because of what women would wear, but eh. i kind-of know how some women are sort-of forced to wear certain attire for their employers. other than that, i really don't care what they wear, even if they wore nothing. I just make sure to keep my distance, even walking on the other side of roads if i must.


i definitely stay away from high schoolers because they're underaged. I avoid underaged persons like the plague. high school girls are young and probably don't have full control over what they wear to school, anyways. my mom pretty much bought and prepared my clothes when i was in high school. i kind-of feel sad for high school girls.
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Old 03-20-2019, 02:11 PM #63
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I had a dream that i was playing with toys, with my brother; like when we were kids. It's unfortunate that my brother and I don't talk as much as we had.
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Old 03-22-2019, 07:11 AM #64
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well i was in some chatroom on some other website the other day, where some random lady showed up and started to talk about how much she liked some man's looks.


i will say i was a bit jealous. but it wasn't just jealousy as it was that (1) I usually get called a creep or get reprimanded for talking about women's beauty and (2) I already know that admiring a lady's beauty can be vain.


Eventually I just kind of told her that i like blonde ladies and about some photo of a lady that i liked. then she just stopped talking about that dude. was funny. I don't like talking to women much, and i kind of try to limit my communications with them twice a week; but if a lady wants to talk about vain things, then i can play that game quite well too. haha
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Old 03-22-2019, 07:12 PM #65
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i bought 4-days worth of food for about 15$: raisins, peanuts, beans, and oats.


It's boring and probably not too healthy to eat only those for 4 days. it's not healthy to eat the same foods all the time, as variety is important for getting all the different types of nutrients, vitamins, and minerals. my mom sometimes gives me different food though. and after the 4 day, i'll buy other different foods, including dairy.
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Old 03-22-2019, 09:49 PM #66
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i'm already feeling sick of this redundant food. meh.


i'm going to do exercise and other important routine things immediately after meals, when i have the most energy.
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Old 03-23-2019, 10:52 AM #67
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I volunteered at the park today. I was put in a situation where I had to work with some lady. I didn't talk though. she looked underaged and I know a lot of men who got arrested and were near underaged persons.


I didn't really talk to anyone there. I like volunteering because it's a chance to give back to my government. But I feel I can also use volunteering to communicate with people to help counter the negative social experiences with my mom. So I probably should've been more social.
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Old 03-23-2019, 11:36 AM #68
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I think talking with locals is an efficient and affordable way to get information about my zip code area.

Newspapers don't really talk about my neighborhood but rather bigger communities, so specific information from newspapers can be scarce.

I can gather some information from the government, but the smallest level of government is the city government. So I would be getting information pertaining to my whole city or my community district, which are both greater than my zip code area. Also, the government sometimes publishes data on an annual basis, which might not be current enough to be useful for me. and the government is also obligated to be confidential, so I wouldn't be able to get client-specific information.

the internet itself can be great for getting information, but it serves the whole world and doesn't always have information pertaining to my zip code area. Google map has outdated information about some local businesses that help me understand the local zip code area but links to a plethora of current information on big businesses that might not have explicit local information since they serve multiple zip code areas and cities.

There are many instances where I can buy information, but I'd have to consider the value of such information. For instance, i can buy current newspapers rather than read old newspapers in public archieves but even current newspapers might not have information about my zip code area. There are people who sell data on the internet, but the internet is also full of scams and misinformation.

the idea, of talking to people for information, is quite unknown to me. I've been avoiding it because I've always felt that I could get information in other ways (which I can but sometimes tediously and indirectly.) i also have a mental illness that makes it hard to interact with others. I know that there are some people who are prejudice against me because of my background and mental illness.

So if I do talk to locals for information, I'll need to carefully plan such method of securing information. If anything, I can probably talk to employers, employees, or people associated with a specific trade of interest to get information on that local trade's economy. I can also casually talk to people standing outside of specific trade stores.

I can also volunteer, and get information from talking to people while volunteering.

I can probably also eavesdrop on public conversations too, but that's indirect and a bit inefficient.
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Old 03-23-2019, 12:12 PM #69
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i'm noticing that driving can be a very important skill. I might get myself a driver's license, even for driving trucks.


I didn't want to learn driving because I don't know anything about cars. Rather, I knew that cars require gas/oil and that can make them financially and environmentally dangerous. I also don't think I can afford to buy or maintain a car.


But a lot of men like me are in the automotive industry.


Even the significant employees of my local government (like police, firefighters, and sanitation workers) have vehicles. So knowing how to drive can be very beneficial.


Even with respect to meeting basic needs, transportation is important. People import food from other locations, and they need drivers and trucks to transport that foods. Even people who work in housing construction sites need trucks to carry heavy loads.


Men like me were laborers, but technology seemed to have affected the hand labor market. I feel vehicles are an example of that technology and transformation of the hand labor industry. So driving skills, especially with trucks, can be very useful for me; regardless of whether or not I own a vehicle.
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Old 03-23-2019, 02:30 PM #70
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i took myself off SNAP food stamp. I wanted to take myself off SSI too, and rather apply for some TANF benefits. I know a lot of people with physical and mental disabilities who really need SSI more than I, as well as a lot of people with mental disabilities who work. I'm also under medical review now, so I might get cut off from SSI anyways.


my monthly food budget now is like 70$, 35% of my previous monthly food budget of 200$. I can live on that budget but the food is boring and mundane for now.
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