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Old 01-24-2019, 08:52 AM #1
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Default Being a Schizoid amongst Family

This is a long one. My family has always been a bit weird in the socialization aspect...or pretty much every aspect. There are five of us: a mother, father, sister, brother, and I. We are unusually close to one another and all live in the same house. I live in the basement because I hate being so close to other people constantly. We all have some form of mental illness except mother. My father, sister, and brother all have bipolar personality disorder. My sister and father have anxiety levels that are off the charts. My brother and sister have depression. My brother and I have adhd. My sister and I have ocd. I have schizoid personality disorder. My father, mother, and sister are all extremely empathetic while my brother and I are mostly stoic and apathetic. Weíre a strange and wild bunch. All of us are introverts and only go socializaing maybe once or twice a month. My mother and brother work while I stay home and take care of my sister (who has health problems) and the 2 dogs, cat, and birds we own, as well as cleaning the house. My mother only goes out to grocery shop and work mostly while my father only leaves to bring my sister to doctors appointments and PT (multiple times a week). I never leave the house except for dog training sessions or when my mother requests it. My point with all of this information is that I am in the presence of my family members everyday and I am completely different from them which makes it difficult for both myself and the rest of my family to understand one another. There are arguments almost everyday about our differing opinions and perspectives and one of us always storms off. For some reason though, none of us want to leave? We are all adamant about staying close to the family and I can honestly say that Iíve formed an emotional connection with these four people that I live with, even if it is a small one. We may have our many differences but they are still my family and although we all tend to disagree with one another, at the end of the day we realize that we are different from one another and thatís alright. We may not understand but we do accept. I ranted and Iím not sure what this was really about but Iíve written too much to change my mind and delete this. So here ya go.
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Old 01-24-2019, 09:26 AM #2
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Default Re: Being a Schizoid amongst Family

Thanks for writing and posting this. I understand love of, or attachment to, family. It's something that I think that therapists and psychotherapy theory generally does not fully appreciate the value of.

This seems to me very important

Quote:
We may have our many differences but they are still my family and although we all tend to disagree with one another, at the end of the day we realize that we are different from one another and thatís alright. We may not understand but we do accept.
I loved and/or felt attached to (wanted belonging with) my family of origin. We did NOT have a way of accepting differences very well, though. At least as far as I could understand it. And eventually it fell apart.

I got an eating disorder when I was 15 and had been in therapy on and off for most of my adult life until a few years ago, when I gave up. 9 years ago I was diagnosed with Personality Disorder Not Otherwise Specified but I think, before I fell apart 20 years ago, I would have qualified for Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder if they had been diagnosing personality disorders back then, which they weren't. I've been pretty obsessive about researching personality disorders and other psychology stuff, until recently, again.

I think my late husband likely had Schizoid Personality Disorder. The two of us got along great, though, and functioned pretty normally.

Unfortunately, though, when my late husband passed away I was not able to make another life for myself. I did not really have much life except with him. And the 2 kids who had mostly grown up and moved away. And I didn't know, couldn't develop the knowledge of, how to do that since I had adapted earlier in my life my "doing the right thing" or following the rules, even when doing the right thing seemed to be breaking the rules, or something. Doesn't make much sense now, but it was what I had at the time.

So, if you can, it might be worthwhile to see if you can get out socially a little bit more, to find some people with similar interests outside your family. That's how my late husband did it. He liked amateur radio and went to some of those events and communicated with others about that. Because -- even though your family members are there for you and have always been there for you, a time may come when some pass away and it will be very different.

Nevertheless, the good times and acceptance that you all have is a really good thing, it seems to me. Best of luck to you.
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Old 01-24-2019, 12:34 PM #3
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Default Re: Being a Schizoid amongst Family

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So, if you can, it might be worthwhile to see if you can get out socially a little bit more, to find some people with similar interests outside your family.
Well thatís the thing. Iíve tried doing that and it works for a little while. I used to like hiking and would go out to battlefields and hike with groups of people. I used to go out with friends from school whether it was to their house or for food. I got bored at home so I tried going to college for a bit and that probably lasted the longest because my family wanted me to get out of the house more often. The problem with doing these things is that I lose interest in them very fast. I do it maybe a couple times and then all of a sudden I just donít care anymore and I move onto something else or just go back to doing nothing. The longest I ever had a hobby would be a couple months and Iíve had a lot of them for sure. Most of the time itís something I suddenly find extremely intriguing but I always lose interest after a bit. Itís like Iím overtaken with boredom and Iím completely fine with living my life like that because itís what Iíve always been doing and Iíve had time to adapt to picking up and dropping things quickly. My therapist used to tell me it was a mixture of my adhd and my spd that causes me to have this habit. I donít need socialization or intimate relationships or something to do in order to feel happy with my life. I suppose I could be happier but im not sad or anything either. I simply am. Nowadays I stay home and do little things. Iíve taken up creative writing so we will see how long that lasts.
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Old 01-24-2019, 01:20 PM #4
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Default Re: Being a Schizoid amongst Family

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Originally Posted by CelestialFlame View Post
My father, sister, and brother all have bipolar personality disorder.
I am just curious...did you mean bipolar disorder or borderline personality disorder?
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Old 04-14-2019, 12:59 AM #5
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Default Re: Being a Schizoid amongst Family

@CelestialFlame
You sound a lot like me :-)
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