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Old 06-12-2018, 10:14 AM   #1
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Default 'churchy' high school graduation

Hi, I realise this is controversial but I need to air out my feelings.

We, my boyfriend and I, have been invited to a grandson's graduation ceremony. I feel extremely uncomfortable and reluctant to attend. You see, it is held in a church and they are conducting Mass. I have problems with church and most definitely have ill feelings when it comes to religion mixing with education. It rather gets me riled up as I believe one has no place with the other.

I can't not attend however. I understand the importance of this to the family. But I am feeling anxious about Mass. I won't go up to the altar to participate. This makes me feel uncomfortable as I will be singling myself out and may offend persons attending including family members. But I absolutely would not 'pretend' and participate. I know it would be wrong. I know it would be a sacrilege.
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Old 06-12-2018, 10:34 AM   #2
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Default Re: 'churchy' high school graduation

You can just go.....I have been in the same situatiion....Catholic church....just don't have to participate. People shouldn't be offended.
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Old 06-12-2018, 10:47 AM   #3
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Default Re: 'churchy' high school graduation

People should not be offended, if they are thats there problem not yours. Religion is a personal choice and im sure you wont be the only one not taking part in going up. I have been to catholic services, school grads and have not taken part in going up nobody even bothered me for not going up
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Old 06-12-2018, 11:39 AM   #4
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Default Re: 'churchy' high school graduation

That would bother me too. But like others said no one should take offense for you not going up to participate in mass. I sometimes go to church with my mum cause she likes it but I never participate and no one takes offense. I'm just their for mum. You are there to support your grandson that should be enough.
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Old 06-12-2018, 11:40 AM   #5
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Default Re: 'churchy' high school graduation

Another acceptable alternative is to join the procession to the altar, but hold your hand up to decline any proffered communion.
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Old 06-12-2018, 10:05 PM   #6
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Default Re: 'churchy' high school graduation

Just don't go if you feel that strongly. Or sit in the very back or the cry room, or join up with the family afterwards. Stay true to your beliefs. I don't agree, but so what? Rely on your courage. If it's worth believing, it's worth standing up for, right?
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Old 06-13-2018, 12:13 AM   #7
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Default Re: 'churchy' high school graduation

I really don't think they will be offended. Anyway, accepting the Eucharist without confession would be a sin. I don't know about your local customs, but where I am, at least a third of people in the church doesn't participate in the communion. It's not considered strange or offensive at all. If anything, it's seen as a sign of humility (they accept that they are sinners and don't pretend to be perfect)
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Old 06-13-2018, 12:02 PM   #8
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Default Re: 'churchy' high school graduation

Thank you for the replies of encouragement.
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Old 06-16-2018, 07:44 AM   #9
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Update: So I have an out.

It turns out the church service and the actual ceremony are in two different locations with one following the other. Hence, there is an option to not attend the Mass yet still attend and be supportive of the actual graduation. Whew!
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Old 06-16-2018, 07:57 AM   #10
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Default Re: 'churchy' high school graduation

That is very good news, so glad you don't have to attend the mass part.
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