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Unread 01-18-2017, 09:22 AM   #1
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Unhappy Hey.. I need some advice and help

Sorry i posted earlier in other forum because i confused on how to start a new thread.
Hi
First of all, I'm sorry if there are any grammar mistake. I need some advice on my current problem.
I'm teenager girl, it is something related to family issues but I really need some advice as I don't have anybody to hear out all my problems. It started a few days ago, my dad is kinda changed. I wonder what makes him change so much. And my mom is always away from the city as she have some business to take care of. I have other siblings but they are staying somewhere far from me to continues their studies and working. I'm the youngest child in the family and currently still studying in high school.
One day, when my dad and I were going to dinner since my mom is not at home, we stopped at a gas station and left his phone on the car with me. Suddenly a message came in. The number was saved under a love emoji. I'm 100% sure that is not my mom. I suspect my dad is cheating on my mom. I'm so stressed out for knowing this. I regret knowing this. I hope I don't know anything about this. I can't focus on my class, can't eat well and so on. I keep thinking about this as this is a burden for me knowing this. I don't have people to talk to. I've been keeping this to myself. I'm so sad that the fact my dad will do that. I cried everyday in my room when there is nobody at my house. Fyi, I have a really important test this year. I want to score straight A's so badly but in this situation I can't focus on my studies. I feel bad for my mom. Tomorrow my mom is gonna come home. I don't know if I should tell the truth to her or just keep it myself as I don't want to breaks her heart. Watching my mom crying is so painful I don't want to see her tears. But, I can't keep it myself too. I breaks my heart too. I'm so stressed out. What should I do pls help me
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Unread 01-18-2017, 10:55 AM   #2
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Default Re: Hey.. I need some advice and help

i have found that acceptance is the best way out of suffering.
these things happen, if you hadn't found out it might be happening, you wouldn't be going thru this... don't be the reason your mom and dad split up.
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Unread 01-18-2017, 01:56 PM   #3
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Default Re: Hey.. I need some advice and help

I agree with Gus. your parents can solve their issues themselves, but i'm sorry you are in the middle of it.
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Unread 01-18-2017, 02:05 PM   #4
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Default Re: Hey.. I need some advice and help

Do not speculate on the message. Do not read it. Follow above advice.
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Unread 01-18-2017, 04:35 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gus1234U View Post
i have found that acceptance is the best way out of suffering.
these things happen, if you hadn't found out it might be happening, you wouldn't be going thru this... don't be the reason your mom and dad split up.
But... What if I can't accept the truth
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Unread 01-18-2017, 09:06 PM   #6
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Default Re: Hey.. I need some advice and help

Maybe that is another reason why your mom is away a lot & just hasn't involved you in any knowledge of what is going on betweenn har & your dad. Their relationship is their business even if it effects you.

If we don't accept the truth we end up having to get used to it whether we like it of not
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Unread 01-18-2017, 11:33 PM   #7
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Default Re: Hey.. I need some advice and help

AngelMoon, have you considered there is a possibility you misunderstood the message?

I realize how betrayed you must feel, how hard it must be to understand why this is happening, and how you may want to protect your mom and to be on her side, to let her know. But telling her might only bring more suffering to everyone, and very likely a lot of unnecessary drama.

It's hard to accept the truth and it's hard to stay silent when an injustice is happening... I'm not sure how close you're to your father but, have you thought of confronting him directly before you try to tell anyone else? To tell him that you know and ask him why? Or if you're afraid to talk to him, maybe write him a letter?

May you find solace...
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Unread 01-19-2017, 12:09 AM   #8
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Default Re: Hey.. I need some advice and help

Quote:
Originally Posted by eskielover View Post
Maybe that is another reason why your mom is away a lot & just hasn't involved you in any knowledge of what is going on betweenn har & your dad. Their relationship is their business even if it effects you.

If we don't accept the truth we end up having to get used to it whether we like it of not
I don't know.. But I know my mom well. She won't do this to me.
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Unread 01-19-2017, 12:13 AM   #9
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Default Re: Hey.. I need some advice and help

Quote:
Originally Posted by Andraste View Post
AngelMoon, have you considered there is a possibility you misunderstood the message?

I realize how betrayed you must feel, how hard it must be to understand why this is happening, and how you may want to protect your mom and to be on her side, to let her know. But telling her might only bring more suffering to everyone, and very likely a lot of unnecessary drama.

It's hard to accept the truth and it's hard to stay silent when an injustice is happening... I'm not sure how close you're to your father but, have you thought of confronting him directly before you try to tell anyone else? To tell him that you know and ask him why? Or if you're afraid to talk to him, maybe write him a letter?

May you find solace...
I really really want to tell her the truth but at the same time I don't want to see her sad. But keeping this secret by myself also a burden for me. I'm planning to ask my dad soon but I don't have courage to do so. I'm scared that he will leave us and our family will be torn apart. I feels so betrayed by him and I'm scared. I don't know if I can handle this problem.
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