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Old 09-12-2018, 04:47 PM   #1
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Attention Breathing in

What does a mother do when she is physically separated from her young child due to finances? The only answer I came up with is, to breathe. Currently, my young one is with her narcissistic father and his enabling girlfriend. In this situation, my young one is clearly not having her needs met. What to do? The reason for our separation is money, but it seems that no matter how much I try to explain to them the importance of mental and well being, they think I am judging them and trying to tell them what to do. It is very frustrating being this far from my daughter and also being hyper-aware of the trauma that she is being subjected to because of their lack of emotional awareness.
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Old 09-14-2018, 01:53 PM   #2
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I'm sorry I don't have the answer for you. However here are links to 8 articles, from PsychCentral's archives, that may be of interest:

How to Sit with Painful Emotions

Several Ways to Sit with Your Feelings | Weightless

7 Ways to Connect to Your Emotions | Make a Mess: Everyday Creativity

When It's Too Hard to Feel Your Feelings | Make a Mess: Everyday Creativity

Therapists Spill: How I Deal with Difficult Emotions

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Old 09-15-2018, 06:18 PM   #3
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Old 01-08-2019, 08:56 PM   #4
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My heart is breaking for you and your children. I was alienated from my children and although it happened 23 years ago I will never forget completely but you have to allow yourself to feel it and show yourself a lot of love and compassion, make sure you take care of yourself no matter how difficult it becomes, you can't give up your children need you
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Old 02-04-2019, 12:10 AM   #5
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I was adopted at birth. My adopted mother died when I was 4 from cancer. My dad remarried my mom now who had kids from a previous marriage. She blatantly favored her blood. I got screwed over a lot. I can think of many situations to prove this point, but just trust me.

My dad was the light of my life. He was very involved in the things I did growing up - coached my baseball teams (he was an excellent pitcher at USMA [West Point]), taught me how to mow the lawn, act towards others, how to shave. All of that. I believe that having him as my father was the best situation I could have grown up with (save the death of my mother)

My father died 9 years ago and our family is still trying to pick up the pieces. I talk to my dad's best friend every week during notre dame football season. I still tear up and sometimes completely lose it when I see anything on tv or in a movie that somehow relates to the loss of loved ones, and surprisingly acts of kindness. My father was a very kind man and had friends anywhere he went. He retired a full bird colonel from the army and finished his life working as the executive director of a health and safety fund for a labor union.

I always had a thought in the back of my mind of who my birth mom was and what she looked like and stuff. My wife got me the ancestry DNA kit for my birthday last year. I found out I had a bi-racial half sister and through the hard work of my wife and older sister they found my birth mother on social media. EVERYONE in that family looks like me. It was actually pretty creepy and not the reaction I would have expected.

My mother wrote me 2 letters as she was dying and I sob when I read them. I don't do it often, but every once in awhile I read them to feel some kind of familial connection. There were 2 parts that really get me:

1) She said she wished she would have been alive to see me become a person and what my mind would be as I grew older.

2) There is nothing better in this world than to know you are loved.

Separation from loved ones is a very difficult thing to experience. I have separation anxiety to this day.

I wish I could say it gets better, but that would be a lie.

I hope you can sort out whatever needs to be done to be with your daughter again. I hope this recounting of my losses can provide you with a feeling that you are not alone.
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