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Old 02-10-2018, 06:36 AM   #1
lilacsnow
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Default releasing or processing bitterness

hi, can anyone guide me to helpful spiritual practices or insights for releasing or transforming bitterness?

(edited to reframe my question)

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Old 02-10-2018, 02:39 PM   #2
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There is no quick fix for that. Therapy can help over time.
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Old 02-10-2018, 02:45 PM   #3
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Well... I don't know what your spiritual / religious leanings are. But, for my money (so to speak) one could not do better than the ancient Tibetan Buddhist Lojong (mind training) teachings. And, for me, there is no better place to learn these than via the writings of the Buddhist nun Pema Chödrön.

Ani Pema has quite a few books in print. (There are also videos, on YouTube, of talks she has given over the years.) But the book I always recommend to begin with is: Start Where You Are- A Guide to Compassionate Living. However I will say that you can't expect to read through it once & put it away. If you do that, it will just be one more book you happen to have read. You have to read it & re-read it, over-&-over. And also put what Pema teaches into practice in your daily life. If you can do that, over time, the Lojong teachings can transform your life. I wish you well...
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Old 02-10-2018, 07:41 PM   #4
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Default Re: releasing or processing bitterness

thanks for the recommendation Skeezyks - I shall see if I can obtain a copy of the book.
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Old 02-12-2018, 07:40 PM   #5
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Default Re: releasing or processing bitterness

Quote:
Originally Posted by lilacsnow View Post
hi, can anyone guide me to helpful spiritual practices or insights for releasing or transforming bitterness?

(edited to reframe my question)
Hi,

This is something I had to overcome a while back, and can gratefully say I was able to. One thing I can share about bitterness is that it often stems from thinking you’ll never regain or replace the joy peace happiness or some form of ability after having lost it due to some action another did, or some incident that happened. There are ways a person can, what I call, “Harvest Fruit from a Fallen Tree” to walk away from whatever you consider a bitter disaster with a sweet destiny.

And, just for starters, to walk away from this post with something that can lift you up now, is:

What is your BEST, non-physical trait or characteristic you TRULY BELIEVE you have?

No matter what you’ve gone through, you have at least one (I’m betting for more! ). One that I can tell you is that you are a valuable asset to this world, put here to make an impact, even if only in the sphere of your neighborhood or home. Because one life you positively impact, is a life changed, and each person you impact for the good is a good impact on the world.

Blessings,
Lukeisha
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Old 02-13-2018, 01:48 PM   #6
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Default Re: releasing or processing bitterness

Would you care to share the nature of the bitterness? (what is it rooted in)....
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Old 02-15-2018, 03:41 PM   #7
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releasing or processing bitterness

Skeez~! there is no better advice i can think of~!
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Old 02-19-2018, 10:45 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lilacsnow View Post
hi, can anyone guide me to helpful spiritual practices or insights for releasing or transforming bitterness?

(edited to reframe my question)
I am a Christian, and a Bible nerd. I understand this isn't a religion most people like, but I have a good suggestion for bitterness from my personal faith experience that I could generalize for anybody to use regardless of their beliefs. I'll share what I use and what I do personally. In the translation of the Bible called the Amplified Bible, there's a rendition of verse 11:25 from the book of Mark that reads:

And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him and let it drop (leave it, let it go), in order that your Father Who is in heaven may also forgive you your [own] failings and shortcomings and let them drop.

The interesting thing about that translation to me is that it says let it drop, leave it, let it go.


My way of practicing this (imperfectly, but I struggle it out) is to immediately assign the action to the person's past, after they have done it, and leave it there, and choose to see them as a new person every day. Because many people change and grow day by day. I leave it, let it drop, and let it go.

Hebrews 8:12 in the NIV reads:

For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.

That's from the point of view of God. I try to imitate it by forgiving. Like choosing to not dwell on what they did and call it to mind.

For the people that stay the same, and aren't sorry, it's a tougher process. That's more related to what are called the fruit of the Spirit in the Bible for me, which includes forbearance (patience, tolerance, self-restraint), and also not judging them for me.

There is also another verse that I use for bitterness, verse 4:26 from the book of Ephesians:

In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry,

That was from the NIV version. The takeaway is not letting the sun go down while you're angry. Like working hard to let it go before you go to bed each night, so it doesn't hang around and add to an ever growing pile of resentments against a person.

Hope this helps.
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Old 02-19-2018, 01:29 PM   #9
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Default Re: releasing or processing bitterness

Quote:
Originally Posted by wolfgaze View Post
Would you care to share the nature of the bitterness? (what is it rooted in)....
hi wolfgaze, i don't feel comfortable just at the moment with saying exactly what the situation has been. But as there's been an awareness of that emotion I just thought perhaps others might be able say what's been helpful.
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Old 02-19-2018, 01:40 PM   #10
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Default Re: releasing or processing bitterness

Quote:
Originally Posted by JesusGeek View Post
I am a Christian, and a Bible nerd. I understand this isn't a religion most people like, but I have a good suggestion for bitterness from my personal faith experience that I could generalize for anybody to use regardless of their beliefs. I'll share what I use and what I do personally. In the translation of the Bible called the Amplified Bible, there's a rendition of verse 11:25 from the book of Mark that reads:

And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him and let it drop (leave it, let it go), in order that your Father Who is in heaven may also forgive you your [own] failings and shortcomings and let them drop.

The interesting thing about that translation to me is that it says let it drop, leave it, let it go.


My way of practicing this (imperfectly, but I struggle it out) is to immediately assign the action to the person's past, after they have done it, and leave it there, and choose to see them as a new person every day. Because many people change and grow day by day. I leave it, let it drop, and let it go.

Hebrews 8:12 in the NIV reads:

For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.

That's from the point of view of God. I try to imitate it by forgiving. Like choosing to not dwell on what they did and call it to mind.

For the people that stay the same, and aren't sorry, it's a tougher process. That's more related to what are called the fruit of the Spirit in the Bible for me, which includes forbearance (patience, tolerance, self-restraint), and also not judging them for me.

There is also another verse that I use for bitterness, verse 4:26 from the book of Ephesians:

In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry,

That was from the NIV version. The takeaway is not letting the sun go down while you're angry. Like working hard to let it go before you go to bed each night, so it doesn't hang around and add to an ever growing pile of resentments against a person.

Hope this helps.
Thanks for sharing what helps you JesusGeek - I appreciate what you've said and in particular ....

My way of practicing this (imperfectly, but I struggle it out) is to immediately assign the action to the person's past, after they have done it, and leave it there, and choose to see them as a new person every day. Because many people change and grow day by day. I leave it, let it drop, and let it go.


.......remembering that people can change and grow day by day,over time, and choosing to see them as a new person every day is encouraging and helpful .

That reminds me of God's mercies being new every morning.




'
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