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Old 12-06-2018, 05:52 PM #1
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Default Was he flriting with me?

So, I have this sort of "guidance counsellor', in my country it is a sort of therapist/social worker, they come to visit you once a week and help you build your life when things get tough. So, for the past 7 months I have had this male counsellor, he is only 3 years older than me which may have been a mistake to begin with.

Once a few weeks ago he offered me to look at a possible job location, I was embarrassed to tell him I already had checked out this job location before he was my counsellor and he was all like, "Oh, so you thought you like hanging out with me so you're not going to tell me you have been there before." in an amused tone, I teased back. It surprised. When he said that, I teased him back and said, "Yeah, I was thinking how much I enjoy spending time with you so that was an excuse." (in a sarcastic way) and then he teased back and said, "Well, then we may have a problem." and I just smiled and then went serious and told my reasons why I did not tell him and he went back to being serious as well.

Was he joking around or flirting? I told him recently that I felt like I could learn a lot from him, and he said he felt the same way

I am wondering if it is the best to end my sessions with him? Even though I still feel like I like keeping touch with him.
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Old 12-06-2018, 07:06 PM #2
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Default Re: Was he flriting with me?

If that's all that went on, I'd say it was a joke rather than flirt. If it turns out to be his usual way of communicating, this may still not be flirting, but I, personally, would find that unprofessional. At this point though I'd dismiss this as a joke.
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Old 12-07-2018, 02:40 AM #3
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Default Re: Was he flriting with me?

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Originally Posted by Ididitmyway View Post
If that's all that went on, I'd say it was a joke rather than flirt. If it turns out to be his usual way of communicating, this may still not be flirting, but I, personally, would find that unprofessional. At this point though I'd dismiss this as a joke.
It was all that went on. I was suprised that he made a joke like that, am it felt almost suggestive and the kind of jokes you'd make with a male friend not a counselor, am I overreacting for thinking that?
However, he does seem like someone who would respect boundaries, he seems to appreciate my opinions.
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Old 12-07-2018, 04:39 PM #4
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Default Re: Was he flriting with me?

It's hard to tell to be honest. I am rubbish at working out when guys are flirting with me and when they are just being friendly. It's more about how you feel about it. If you don't like it you need to tell him... maybe he's just got the vibe wrong. Or are you worried because you like him?
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Old 12-07-2018, 06:04 PM #5
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Default Re: Was he flriting with me?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hey Gem View Post
It was all that went on. I was suprised that he made a joke like that, am it felt almost suggestive and the kind of jokes you'd make with a male friend not a counselor, am I overreacting for thinking that?
However, he does seem like someone who would respect boundaries, he seems to appreciate my opinions.
Those cases are hard to judge based purely on the description. Most of communication is non-verbal. Without seeing a person's face, hearing their voice, seeing the gestures and such, it's hard to judge the intention by the content of what was said only.

The fact that he switched to a serious tone immediately after saying it suggests that he didn't mean to flirt. If he had meant to flirt, I think, he would've kept it up, at least, this has been my experience with those who flirt.

If this doesn't happen again, I'd dismiss it as a joke. I don't think it's worth it reading too much into what people mean by saying this or that. Even when something bothered you, if it's been just a single occurrence and never led anywhere, it's not a problem that is worth worrying about.
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