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Old 11-06-2018, 12:05 PM   #1
scarcejoy has no updates.
Member Since: Jan 2016
Location: Chicago
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Default Trying to heal from the feelings I have for my past therapist

It feels odd but it has been 3 weeks since my last session with my past therapist. Referring to her in the past tense is hurtful. Besides missing her and feeling sad that our time ended, the feelings that are most affected are my romantic feelings for her. I miss seeing her radiant smile each week. I miss talking to her each week. She was the sunlight of my life. It pains me so much not having anymore communication each week. I daydream about past sessions that I had with her. I daydream about seeing her again. Even though I don't see her weekly, she is still the person that I love the most in my life.

I have met with my new therapist to talk about all of the details regarding my feelings for my past therapist. I talked about those loving feelings to her but I only touched on the surface of those romantic feelings because I was too nervous. I read what I wrote in my journal to my new therapist. I told him all the details. I told him all of my profound feelings, all of my fantasies, all my admiration towards to her, how beautiful she looks, and how much I adore her. That journal that I read was 5 pages long. It felt very healing telling my new therapist all about this. Finally, I don't have to carry all those heavy secrets with me anymore. I load of weight was dropped from my shoulders. I don't have anything to hide anymore. I think the reading of that journal was an important step in my healing process when it comes to missing my past therapist.
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Old 11-13-2018, 04:22 PM   #2
SarahSweden has no updates.
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Default Re: Trying to heal from the feelings I have for my past therapist

I really symphatize with you as I go through something very similar with my former therapist. Youīre really "lucky" who have the access to a new therapist even if it canīt be the same as with your former one.

I recognise all the longing, all the replays in my head from situations in therapy, missing her and seeing her as a very important person whom I lost. I have no access to consolation in all this, I can just grieve and wait for it all to pass, hoping itīll fade by time.

Itīs just raw and I understand at least something of what youīre going through.
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