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Old 10-19-2018, 07:02 PM   #1
SarahSweden
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Default Do you think your therapist is ever sexually attracted to you?

Iīve read rather many articles on this and of course this subject is kind of a taboo as a therapist "shouldnīt" feel this way about a client. A therapist often has more tools than a client to handle such feelings but they still canīt always shut them off. This also exists when the client and the therapist is of the same sex but generally sees themselves as heterosexual.



I wouldnīt want any therapist to tell me about this but I donīt think itīs at all impossible my former T thought of me this way. I donīt mean she actually wanted me but all kinds of people youīve met with might show up in your mind during a sexual situation.



Do you think your therapist is ever sexually attracted to you or has it crossed your mind he or she might see you "flash by" in their mind during a sexual situation?
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Old 10-19-2018, 07:04 PM   #2
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Default Re: Do you think your therapist is ever sexually attracted to you?

I definitely got the feeling that T1 was ... by words and other things. Not something I wanted, (but I didn’t want his disdain either)

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Old 10-19-2018, 07:17 PM   #3
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Default Re: Do you think your therapist is ever sexually attracted to you?

Yes absolutely.

He will never admit it out of fear. I wish he would. I prefer honesty
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Old 10-19-2018, 07:18 PM   #4
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Default Re: Do you think your therapist is ever sexually attracted to you?

Me, no not at all.
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Old 10-19-2018, 07:23 PM   #5
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Default Re: Do you think your therapist is ever sexually attracted to you?

I remember recently reading an article or something similar on this topic. I don't remember the exact content, but it certainly does happen and is not as uncommon as you'd probably think. I don't think there's any 'you shouldn't feel this way' in therapy, for either the client or therapist. The T should just be able to deal with their feelings by themselves and not let it affect the relationship to the client, while also ensuring that everything remains ethical and so on.



I'm not sure I'd want to know if my T thought of me that way. It would probably make me feel weird, although I do not think that there's anything wrong about it per se, as long as he doesn't act on his feelings. But I think in certain situations it could be beneficial to tell a client, but that is very situational.


I'd be surprised if my T was attracted to me. While I'm a lot younger than he is, I'm not very attractive, certainly not when I sob uncontrollably like 95% of the time there. As for having random people pop up in your head in sexual situations, that sometime happens, it probably happens to Ts as well. I've probably given it about the same amount of thought as I do with friends, i.e. 'yeah, that's a bit weird, but whatever'.
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Old 10-19-2018, 07:44 PM   #6
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Default Re: Do you think your therapist is ever sexually attracted to you?

Yes, there were times... but it wasn't anything substantial I think and it was never disruptive.
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Old 10-19-2018, 07:55 PM   #7
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Default Re: Do you think your therapist is ever sexually attracted to you?

My t led me on for years. PM me if you would like details.
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Old 10-19-2018, 07:57 PM   #8
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Default Re: Do you think your therapist is ever sexually attracted to you?

Ex-T, yes.
Current T, no, I don't think so.
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Old 10-19-2018, 08:01 PM   #9
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Default Re: Do you think your therapist is ever sexually attracted to you?

Maybe in a normal "passing thought" way, like how you might notice any other person is attractive or has a nice body or something. But not in a serious way. As for "flashing by"--I guess it's possible but somehow I don't think so. The subject has never come up, though.
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Old 10-19-2018, 08:12 PM   #10
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Default Re: Do you think your therapist is ever sexually attracted to you?

I'm sure he's thought of me as a sexual person given that we've discussed my sex life and at one point when I was communicating about my shame about my transference he misinterpreted it as being sexual/romantic. And he's expressed the opinion that I'm attractive (not that he's attracted to me, but he said it matter-of-factly while also saying I was intelligent, etc), but I don't think he's actually sexually attracted to me.

I think I would feel kind of betrayed if he felt that way recently? Especially now because this last month or two we've been focusing on my childhood and I'm just starting to remember and revisit stuff from that time and I've been in a very vulnerable and childlike place. Like I've been sitting on the floor with my back against the wall and hugging my knees like I did when I was a kid... it would be pretty f'ed up if he was thinking of me in a sexual way in that context.
And I have very strong parental transference. I want him to see me as a hurt kid he wants to protect, not as enough of an "equal" to be sexually attracted to.

In other situations and points in time I might be flattered if it crossed his mind. I certainly don't want him to think I'm unattractive. But I wouldn't want it to be something he thought about regularly or got distracted by, and I certainly wouldn't want him to act on it in any way. Basically I would want him to keep it to himself.
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