Do you think your therapist is ever sexually attracted to you? - Page 3 - Forums at Psych Central


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Old 10-20-2018, 07:37 AM #21
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Default Re: Do you think your therapist is ever sexually attracted to you?

I don't know if my therapist has ever been sexually attracted to me. I know they would never tell me if they did or not. It is a fantasy of mine that they do. I would love to know if they did. I know nothing could or would happen regardless but would be nice to know.
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Old 10-20-2018, 09:40 AM #22
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Default Re: Do you think your therapist is ever sexually attracted to you?

Reading this thread also reminded me of something my T said once, not terribly long ago, that wasn't out of the context of the session but irritated me. He said that sometimes child abuse survivors behave in "seductive" ways and then added he "didn't get seduction from me."

I replied rather heatedly, "That's because I'm not trying to seduce you!" I might have made a face or said "ick" too, then offered a rote apology, "sorry, nothing person, but ick." He laughed and thankfully, has never used the word "seduction" again, which skeeves me out even on my best day.
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Old 10-20-2018, 09:45 AM #23
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Default Re: Do you think your therapist is ever sexually attracted to you?

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Originally Posted by Anne2.0 View Post

"sorry, nothing person, but ick." He laughed and thankfully, has never used the word "seduction" again, which skeeves me out even on my best day.
That made me laugh, that you said Ick.
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Old 10-20-2018, 10:17 AM #24
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Default Re: Do you think your therapist is ever sexually attracted to you?

I liked the mild, unspoken mutual attraction with my last T (just like I tend to enjoy it with anyone I feel good chemistry with). It can be very eneegizing and make work collaborations more pleasant and even productive. Don’t think it affected the therapeutic aspect of therapy for me but was something to look forward to. I did not like my first Ts occasional spontaneous and masked comments because I did nit find him attractive at all, not even in the beginning when our relationship was good.
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Old 10-20-2018, 02:19 PM #25
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Default Re: Do you think your therapist is ever sexually attracted to you?

I find it surprising that several people find the idea so disgusting. Of course I agree it's icky if a T tells clients about their sexual attraction or brings it into therapy in any way. But it seems natural and inevitable to me that a T might have the occasional stray thought about it. I wonder if the people who think it's gross see their T as a parental figure?
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Old 10-20-2018, 02:55 PM #26
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Default Re: Do you think your therapist is ever sexually attracted to you?

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Originally Posted by Salmon77 View Post
I find it surprising that several people find the idea so disgusting. Of course I agree it's icky if a T tells clients about their sexual attraction or brings it into therapy in any way. But it seems natural and inevitable to me that a T might have the occasional stray thought about it. I wonder if the people who think it's gross see their T as a parental figure?
I agree. But I guess people who were taken advantage of sexually before, especially by adults in their childhoods, may find it scary or at least undesirable. I've personally never been abused sexually so for me it's easy and natural, but the link to abuse history is the pattern I see most often in those who tend to cringe at such thoughts and circumstances. I think it's perfectly understandable.
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Old 10-20-2018, 03:08 PM #27
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Default Re: Do you think your therapist is ever sexually attracted to you?

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Originally Posted by Xynesthesia View Post
I agree. But I guess people who were taken advantage of sexually before, especially by adults in their childhoods, may find it scary or at least undesirable. I've personally never been abused sexually so for me it's easy and natural, but the link to abuse history is the pattern I see most often in those who tend to cringe at such thoughts and circumstances. I think it's perfectly understandable.
Oh, I hadn't thought of that. Makes sense. Thank you.
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Old 10-20-2018, 06:04 PM #28
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Default Re: Do you think your therapist is ever sexually attracted to you?

I feel some chemistry at times with my T. And there are occasional moments that feel a bit flirtatious. I did tell him at one point that part of me wanted him to be attracted to me, but that I also absolutely did not want him to tell me if he was or wasn't. Because I'm not sure how either answer would affect me. We were able to discuss it, and where those desires came from (probably mostly from a younger part of me, but I also said that adult part of me thinks he's objectively an attractive guy so would be a bit flattered if he found me to be attractive). And he was able to talk about it without getting weird about it, plus he didn't share anything about how he felt, which I appreciated.
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Old 10-20-2018, 07:18 PM #29
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Default Re: Do you think your therapist is ever sexually attracted to you?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Salmon77 View Post
I find it surprising that several people find the idea so disgusting. Of course I agree it's icky if a T tells clients about their sexual attraction or brings it into therapy in any way. But it seems natural and inevitable to me that a T might have the occasional stray thought about it. I wonder if the people who think it's gross see their T as a parental figure?
For me it's this. It would be upsetting for me if he found me sexually attractive when he's mostly interacting with the most vulnerable, damaged, hurt, and childlike parts of me. Those things should evoke parental feelings maybe, but the idea of them evoking sexual feelings creeps me out.

During a session early on before he saw that part of me or maybe someday in the future when we're talking more as equals, it would seem natural and normal to me. Not necessarily "to be expected," since I don't think I'm like irresistibly attractive or whatever, but I wouldn't be horrified or anything.

I mean, he also mentioned that his daughter got her PhD, so she has to be older than me. And so I would also kind of expect that he would see me as too young to be attracted to? I'm 23, so I'm not a child, but I don't feel like a "real adult" either.

No sexual abuse in my past, so it's not about that. I mean, I've had a few men who were significantly older than me express sexual attraction to me after i trusted them in friend/mentor/confidante roles, and felt a bit creeped out and taken advantage of and now I'm more wary regarding men's motives, but I feel like that's probably a pretty universal experience for women.
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Old 10-20-2018, 10:32 PM #30
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Default Re: Do you think your therapist is ever sexually attracted to you?

Not my Current T, no. But two therapists before her were.
Just remembered...there was a third therapist who told me he was sexually attracted to me. Good grief. I wasn’t even cute or pretty.
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