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Unread 05-09-2003, 08:38 AM   #1
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swimmer2001 has no updates.
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Default My husband came home with lipstick all over him


I am new to this. I will try to make this short. I have been married for 2 1/2 years. I am very much in love with my husband. He was the perfect guy. Works hard, smart, successful, athlete and good looking.

My background a little. I have four sisters. Two within the last two years have gone through very hard divorces (kids involved with both) because there husbands were cheating on them.

Last night my husband had a softball game. He called around the time I would have expected him to be leaving the game and said that the game had been cancelled and he was at happy hour with the guys. No problem right. We are very trusting of eachother and have always been able to do the things we want to do without holding back.

Naturally I'm like have a great time.

He came home two hours later so drunk he could barely stand (he drove himself, which is a whole other issue). And there was a purple lipstick mark on his cheek as well as lipstick and makeup all over his collar.

I know he isn't having an affair, there are no signs and we just moved here a month ago. He really isn't that kind of guy, he would leave me first. I think that it is something out of stupid drunkeness. But, when I confronted him and asked him how the lipstick go there he says, I don't know, nothing happened, I was just drinking with my friends and it just got there.

He said that last night completely drunk. I couldn't sleep so I wrote him a letter saying that I was hurt blah, blah blah. I slept in the guest room and left it for him. This morning I asked him if he read it. He said he had and he said the same thing as last night.

I have nobody here. I can't go anywhere and I am still not working. I am stuck all by myself and this is festering. I am so hurt and he acts like he doesn't even care. He's like I don't see why you are so upset. I told him to put himself in my shoes.

Anyways, it would be nice to hear from someone just to keep me going through the day. Hopefully my husband will come around by the time he gets home from work.

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Unread 05-09-2003, 09:08 AM   #2
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Location: Rocky Mtn High, love all :)
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Default Re: My husband came home with lipstick all over him

Hi swimmer,
How are you feeling now? Betrayed, angry, confused? I would be. I remember one time, a little different, but same issues, my wife took a trip to Florida alone. Told me she was going to see her sister. Left our son with me. I called her sister to talk, but sis says, she's not here right now, she took Adam (our son) to the park. Oh really? I'll have her call she says. Ok says me. Well, it didnt take long, I found out she was really in CA w/some "freinds" there. What kind of freinds I wonder, that you need to lie about what state you are in to see them? Anyway, not to get into my story, but, I can imagine how you feel. I spent a few days in the fetal position on my living room floor. What are you thinking of doing next?

"This too shall pass...."
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Unread 05-09-2003, 09:35 AM   #3
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Location: Philadelphia
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Default Re: My husband came home with lipstick all over him

Swimmer, even if what he did was out of stupid drunkeness, it was wrong, and it hurt you. Writing the letter was good...I'm sure it helped you process your feelings a bit, but you need to let him know that no matter what the circumstances were, that situation cannot happen again, because when he behaves that way, it hurts you.

And I will be keeping you in my thoughts, and hoping that things work out for you.


If she spins fast enough then maybe the broken pieces of her heart will stay together, but even a gyroscope can't spin forever
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Unread 05-09-2003, 03:22 PM   #4
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Location: CT
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Default Re: My husband came home with lipstick all over him

Hi guys,

Thanks for writing back. It helps to have someone to talk to.

I talked to my husband this afternoon and he said that he realizes that he was wrong. We are going to talk about it tonight. He said that his reactions to me were the way they were because he couldn't believe that I thought he would do something like that. LOL

When I didn't think he would do something like that, until he comes home like he did. I know that we can work through this, but I won't be the same for a long time and I really don't like that. I just can't trust him like I did anymore. Maybe that will go away, but who knows.

Thanks for the input guys. I will keep you posted.


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