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Old 08-12-2017, 11:12 PM   #1
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Frown I don't know what to do

Some background: My boyfriend, L, and I have been together for almost 4 years. We met when he was a junior and I was a senior in high school. I was diagnosed with major depression and anxiety when I was 16, so finding someone that I connected with who didn't make me feel like a burden was incredible. We fell in love so fast, and we've been through so much together: his family problems, both of our parents' divorces, and him going through 9 months of Marine Corps training in other states. We moved into our first apartment in May 2016, and lived there until November 2016 when I found out I was pregnant and we moved back home an hour away to be closer to our families.

Anyone who's moved out on their own and then had to move back home knows how tough it can be... there's no privacy, and we're living in a tiny shoebox of a room with our now 4 month old son and dog. We're so happy we moved back home because the help we've received from our families has been amazing and as a new mom, I don't know what I would have done without them.

Things are starting to change, though. We're both always angry and stressed out, and though I've recently started taking antidepressants again, it doesn't seem to be helping. I'm starting to hate being around L because everything he does just annoys me so much. I find myself daydreaming of being with literally anyone else and wondering if I really do want to spend the rest of my life with him like I always thought. All I can see in him are his faults. Plus with the stress of a baby and being in such an overcrowded house (there are 6 of us here), I'm starting to feel the need to run so far away to get away from everything and everyone, including my son and boyfriend.

My real problem is that I can't tell if the problem is within my relationship or within my environment, or both. I don't want to imagine my life without L because I really do love him so much. I'm going out of my mind.
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Old 08-13-2017, 10:06 AM   #2
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Default Re: I don't know what to do

Hello. Welcome to PC. You've got a lot on your plate right now. Having a baby is a joyful event and at the same time extremely stressing. Can you arrange to have some "me" time? What about individual or couples counseling? Sending big hugs.
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Old 09-29-2017, 12:35 AM   #3
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Default Re: I don't know what to do

Moving back home and in extremely tight quarters...I would be very uncomfortable, too. Plus, babies are hard work. Dogs are dependent pets.

All of you in one room would damper your intimacy/sex my opinion. Tripping over one another, etc. - there's no room to breathe!

It sounds like the environment plus raising an infant in only one room...I would guess that initiated the current relationship problems. Are either of you introverts? I am. I love my partner but I need my space and alone time. I think your living arrangements are a pressure cooker and it's a strain on your relationship. Open communication and finding a way to have intimacy time together is important.
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Old 09-29-2017, 08:05 PM   #4
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Default Re: I don't know what to do

My cousin went through the same basic situation.. It was incredibily hard to manage..

They also started questioning there whole relationship

Is there hope on the horizon about moving into your own place? Have you set some goals to attain?

When was the last thing you did just the 2 of you outside the house away from baby, dog, family?

Maybe a date night ? and you both need some alone time.. Can you take a walk to a coffee shop or someplace to find some time just for you ?

My cousin and his wife got there own place , was hard work , but it worked out .. There 2 daughters are now in college.

Be kind to yourself and Welcome to PC
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