Psych Central

Go Back   Forums at Psych Central > General > Relationships & Communication



advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
Unread 08-12-2017, 11:12 PM   #1
Newly Joined
scaredmama121 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Aug 2017
Location: Louisiana, USA
Posts: 1
Frown I don't know what to do

Some background: My boyfriend, L, and I have been together for almost 4 years. We met when he was a junior and I was a senior in high school. I was diagnosed with major depression and anxiety when I was 16, so finding someone that I connected with who didn't make me feel like a burden was incredible. We fell in love so fast, and we've been through so much together: his family problems, both of our parents' divorces, and him going through 9 months of Marine Corps training in other states. We moved into our first apartment in May 2016, and lived there until November 2016 when I found out I was pregnant and we moved back home an hour away to be closer to our families.

Anyone who's moved out on their own and then had to move back home knows how tough it can be... there's no privacy, and we're living in a tiny shoebox of a room with our now 4 month old son and dog. We're so happy we moved back home because the help we've received from our families has been amazing and as a new mom, I don't know what I would have done without them.

Things are starting to change, though. We're both always angry and stressed out, and though I've recently started taking antidepressants again, it doesn't seem to be helping. I'm starting to hate being around L because everything he does just annoys me so much. I find myself daydreaming of being with literally anyone else and wondering if I really do want to spend the rest of my life with him like I always thought. All I can see in him are his faults. Plus with the stress of a baby and being in such an overcrowded house (there are 6 of us here), I'm starting to feel the need to run so far away to get away from everything and everyone, including my son and boyfriend.

My real problem is that I can't tell if the problem is within my relationship or within my environment, or both. I don't want to imagine my life without L because I really do love him so much. I'm going out of my mind.
scaredmama121 is offline   Reply With Quote
Hugs from:

advertisement
Unread 08-13-2017, 10:06 AM   #2
Wise Elder
 
Jennifer 1967's Avatar
Jennifer 1967 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jan 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 7,550 (SuperPoster!)
My Mood:

2 yr Member
15.3k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: I don't know what to do

Hello. Welcome to PC. You've got a lot on your plate right now. Having a baby is a joyful event and at the same time extremely stressing. Can you arrange to have some "me" time? What about individual or couples counseling? Sending big hugs.
Jennifer 1967 is online now   Reply With Quote
Unread 09-29-2017, 12:35 AM   #3
Veteran Member
 
glamslam's Avatar
glamslam has no updates.
 
Member Since: Feb 2017
Location: US
Posts: 688 (SuperPoster!)
My Mood:

1,657 hugs
given
Default Re: I don't know what to do

Moving back home and in extremely tight quarters...I would be very uncomfortable, too. Plus, babies are hard work. Dogs are dependent pets.

All of you in one room would damper your intimacy/sex life....in my opinion. Tripping over one another, etc. - there's no room to breathe!

It sounds like the environment plus raising an infant in only one room...I would guess that initiated the current relationship problems. Are either of you introverts? I am. I love my partner but I need my space and alone time. I think your living arrangements are a pressure cooker and it's a strain on your relationship. Open communication and finding a way to have intimacy time together is important.
__________________
Diagnoses:
-Bipolar 1 with psychosis, rapid cycling, mixed episode predominant. Medication compliant, but treatment-resistant. No remission to date. Categorized: Extreme. Dx in 2002. Disabled since 2009.
-Panic disorder
-C-PTSD
-General Anxiety disorder
-Social Anxiety disorder
-OCD
-chronic pain with degenerative disc disease, sciatica, 4 bulging discs; total disc replacement (herniated) in C5 and L4.

Rx meds: Yup!

Unconditionally loved and in love, tons of books, Maine Coon cats
glamslam is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 09-29-2017, 08:05 PM   #4
Legendary
 
~Christina's Avatar
~Christina has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jul 2011
Location: Florida
Posts: 11,534 (SuperPoster!)
My Mood:

5 yr Member
4,853 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: I don't know what to do

My cousin went through the same basic situation.. It was incredibily hard to manage..

They also started questioning there whole relationship

Is there hope on the horizon about moving into your own place? Have you set some goals to attain?

When was the last thing you did just the 2 of you outside the house away from baby, dog, family?

Maybe a date night ? and you both need some alone time.. Can you take a walk to a coffee shop or someplace to find some time just for you ?

My cousin and his wife got there own place , was hard work , but it worked out .. There 2 daughters are now in college.

Be kind to yourself and Welcome to PC
__________________
~Christina
~Christina is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 12:33 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.

advertisement

 

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice,
diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.
Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.

 

HomeAbout UsContact UsPrivacy PolicyTerms of UseDisclaimer
Forums HomeCommunity GuidelinesHelp

Helplines and Lifelines