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Unread 08-11-2017, 08:44 PM   #1
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Default Relationship Purgatory

Hello,

I'm new here, and I'm suffering from feeling lonely.

A little background. I met this guy on tinder three months ago. He seemed nice and everything seemed to be going great. He then decided to disclose that he has asperger's, now known as autism spectrum disorder. I was fine with it, and in turn, shared my diagnosis. That very same day we get into a huge argument, which ended up with me crying myself to sleep. We had several fights since then. We would always make up. Recently he's started contact me and would talk to me a couple of days and then he'd go M.I.A on me for a week. He's done this two times. This time he stopped talking to me for almost a month now, so I can naturally assume that what relationship, albeit short, we had is over. Some of this behavior is due to his autistic traits. Others I'm not sure of.

Anyway, I decided it was time to move on, because I became interested in a guy I like at this place that volunteered at. He seemed cool and laid back. So Wednesday I started messaging him of facebook. I was trying to be funny and I tried to ask him if he was he single or not. He says technically he's single but he's off the market so to speak. I asked him more about this, and he says that he's in an undefined relationship and he's not sure what to call it himself. We talk briefly afterward, but now I feel like an idiot. Now every time I see him at the place I volunteer at, I'm going to feel awkward. Which leads me to this. Everyday for the past month I've been waiting for tinder guy to text me back. Since the facebook guy is unavailable, I feel I should turn back to the familiar. Tinder guy is not a terrible, and the thing we talk about the most is film and television,which are two of my favorite subjects to talk about.

Anyway, thank's for reading.
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Unread 08-11-2017, 10:48 PM   #2
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Default Re: Relationship Purgatory

Hmm, I don't mean to freak you out! But haha I would totally feel nervous seeing the guy too, but he probably, most definitely, won't be rude about it and will be the same as how he always is, so in a way there's nothing to be worried about!

Now with this tinder guy, I feel like maybe you need to let that idea go? He seems to not be so into the relationship yall have to go M.I.A for so long already. You definitely can try finding someone else though.

I totally understand the feeling if being lonely, i mean if you want to talk about film and television I'll gladly speak to you about it, my two favorite subjects too!
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Unread 08-11-2017, 10:59 PM   #3
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Thumbs up Re: Relationship Purgatory

Quote:
Originally Posted by Siri_ View Post
Hmm, I don't mean to freak you out! But haha I would totally feel nervous seeing the guy too, but he probably, most definitely, won't be rude about it and will be the same as how he always is, so in a way there's nothing to be worried about!

Now with this tinder guy, I feel like maybe you need to let that idea go? He seems to not be so into the relationship yall have to go M.I.A for so long already. You definitely can try finding someone else though.

I totally understand the feeling if being lonely, i mean if you want to talk about film and television I'll gladly speak to you about it, my two favorite subjects too!
Thank you.
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Unread 08-12-2017, 03:09 AM   #4
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Default Re: Relationship Purgatory

Hello. Welcome to PC. I hope it's not too awkward for you where you volunteer. It will pass with time. You put yourself out there and that's very brave. I agree with the previous poster about the guy from Tinder. It sounds very on and off. This doesn't bode well for your future happiness. Maybe you should keep looking. Good luck. Sending big hugs.
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Unread 08-12-2017, 04:17 AM   #5
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Default Re: Relationship Purgatory

After being in a 33 year marriage with a gut who was ASD I can assure you that emotional connection is non-existent even though they don't think so or realize it & they are only good at talking about the things that interest them. That's fine if all you ever want to talk about is film & TV. Fights were a common occurance in my marriage. It was miserable. After my mom died I decided I wanted to buy a farm 2100 miles away from where we lived. At the time I hadn't decided to leave him & thought a change to the country would be good. I spent several months at my farm working at getting it ready to move into. I never heard a word from him while I was gone. The good thing was that it made me realize I didn't miss him & really was happier not around him & having nothing to do with him. After 33 years of living around his behaviors (undiagnosed at that time) I had honestly had enough.

From personal experience I would not bother continuing to waste time on the Tinder guy. It will just end up causing you grief.
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